Misalliance

on refreshments. That cleaned me out. The rest of the time I was so miserable that I was glad to get back to the office. Now you know. Lina Come to the gymnasium: I’ll teach you how to make a man of yourself. The man is about to rise irresolutely, from the mere habit of doing what he is told, when Tarleton stops him. Tarleton Young man: don’t. You’ve tried to shoot me; but I’m not vindictive. I draw the line at putting a man on the rack. If you want every joint in your body stretched until it’s an agony to live⁠—until you have an unnatural feeling that all your muscles are singing and laughing with pain⁠—then go to the gymnasium with that lady. But you’ll be more comfortable in jail. Lina Greatly amused. Was that why you went away, old pal? Was that the telegram you said you had forgotten to send? Mrs. Tarleton comes in hastily through the inner door. Mrs. Tarleton On the steps. Is anything the matter, John? Nurse says she heard you calling me a quarter of an hour ago; and that your voice sounded as if you were ill. She comes between Tarleton and the man. Is anything the matter? Tarleton This is the son of an old friend of mine. Mr.⁠—er⁠—Mr. Gunner. To the man, who rises awkwardly. My wife. Mrs. Tarleton Good evening to you. Gunner Er⁠—He is too nervous to speak, and makes a shambling bow. Bentley looks in at the pavilion door, very peevish, and too preoccupied with his own affairs to pay any attention to those of the company. Bentley I say: has anybody seen Hypatia? She promised to come out with me; and I can’t find her anywhere. And where’s Joey? Gunner Suddenly breaking out aggressively, being incapable of any middle way between submissiveness and violence. I can tell you where Hypatia is. I can tell you where Joey is. And I say it’s a scandal and an infamy. If people only knew what goes on in this so-called respectable house it would be put a stop to. These are the morals of our pious capitalist class! This is your rotten bourgeoisie! This!⁠— Mrs. Tarleton Don’t you dare use such language in company. I won’t allow it. Tarleton All right, Chickabiddy: it’s not bad language: it’s only Socialism. Mrs. Tarleton Well, I won’t have any Socialism in my house. Tarleton To Gunner. You hear what Mrs. Tarleton says. Well, in this house everybody does what she says or out they go. Gunner Do you suppose I want to stay? Do you think I would breathe this polluted atmosphere a moment longer than I could help? Bentley Running forward between Lina and Gunner. But what did you mean by what you said about Miss Tarleton and Mr. Percival, you beastly rotter, you? Gunner To Tarleton. Oh! is Hypatia your daughter? And Joey is Mister Percival, is he? One of your set, I suppose. One of the smart set! One of the bridge-playing, eighty-horse-power, weekender set! One of the johnnies I slave for! Well, Joey has more decency than your daughter, anyhow. The women are the worst. I never believed it till I saw it with my own eyes. Well, it won’t last forever. The writing is on the wall. Rome fell. Babylon fell. Hindhead’s turn will come. Mrs. Tarleton Naively looking at the wall for the writing. Whatever are you talking about, young man? Gunner I know what I’m talking about. I went into that Turkish bath a boy: I came out a man. Mrs. Tarleton Good gracious! he’s mad. To Lina. Did John make him take a Turkish bath? Lina No. He doesn’t need Turkish baths: he needs to put on a little flesh. I don’t understand what it’s all about. I found him trying to shoot Mr. Tarleton. Mrs. Tarleton With a scream. Oh! and John encouraging him, I’ll be bound! Bunny: you go for the police. To Gunner. I’ll teach you to come into my house and shoot my husband. Gunner Teach away. I never asked to be let off. I’m ashamed to be free instead of taking my part with the rest. Women⁠—beautiful women of noble birth⁠—are going to prison for their opinions. Girl students in Russia go to the gallows; let themselves be cut in pieces with the knout, or driven through the frozen snows of Siberia, sooner than stand looking on tamely at the world being made a hell for the toiling millions. If you were not all skunks and cowards you’d be suffering with them instead of battening here on the plunder of the poor. Mrs. Tarleton Much vexed. Oh, did you ever hear such silly nonsense? Bunny: go and tell the gardener to send over one of his men to Grayshott for the police. Gunner I’ll go with him. I intend to give myself up. I’m going to expose what I’ve seen here, no matter what the consequences may be to my miserable self. Tarleton Stop. You stay where you are, Ben. Chickabiddy: you’ve never had the police in. If you had, you’d not be in a hurry to have them in again. Now, young man: cut the cackle; and tell us, as short as you can, what did you see? Gunner I can’t tell you in the presence of ladies. Mrs. Tarleton Oh, you are tiresome. As if it mattered to anyone what you saw. Me! A married woman that might be your mother. To Lina. And I’m sure you’re not particular, if you’ll excuse my saying so. Tarleton Out with it. What did you see? Gunner I saw your daughter with my own eyes⁠—oh well, never mind what I saw. Bentley Almost crying with anxiety. You beastly rotter, I’ll get Joey to give you such a hiding⁠— Tarleton You can’t leave it at that, you know. What did you see my daughter doing? Gunner After all, why shouldn’t she do it? The Russian students do it. Women should be