snow. In this did I lament my lost wife, and did conjure up the case so piteously that in the midst of my sad tunes and melodies the tears would burst forth and my weeping choked the passage of my song: yet did I play my part right well till I came before Pluto and Proserpina in hell. To them I represented in a most moving song their own love that they bore to each other, and begged them to judge thereby with what great grief I and my Eurydice must have parted, and prayed with the most piteous actions (and all the time I sang to my lute) they would give her leave to return to me: and when they had said me “Yes,” I took my leave with a joyful song to them, and was clever enough so to change my face, my actions, and my voice to a joyful tune that all that saw me were astonished. But when I again lost my Eurydice all unexpectedly I did fancy to myself the greatest danger wherein a man could find himself, and thereupon became so pale as if I would faint away: for inasmuch as I was then alone upon the stage and all spectators looked on me, I played my part the more carefully and got therefrom the praise of having acted the best. Thereafter I set me on a rock and began to deplore the loss of my bride with piteous words and a most mournful melody, and to summon all creatures to weep with me: upon that, all manner of wild beasts and tame, mountains, trees, and the like flocked round me, so that in truth it seemed as if ’twere all so done in unnatural fashion by enchantment. Nor did I make any mistake at all till the end: but then when I had renounced the company of all women, had been murdered by the Bacchantes and cast into the water (which had been so prepared that one could see only my head, for the rest of my body was beneath the stage in perfect safety), where the dragon was to devour me, and the fellow that was inside the dragon to work it could not see my head and so did let the dragon’s head wag about close to mine, this seemed to me so laughable that I could not choose but make a wry face, which the ladies that looked hard upon me failed not to perceive.

From this comedy I earned, besides the high praise that all gave me, not only an excellent reward, but I got me yet another nickname, for thenceforth the French would call me naught but “Beau Alman.” And as ’twas then carnival-time, many such plays and ballets were represented, in all which I was employed: but at last I found I was envied by others because I mightily attracted the spectators, and in especial the women, to turn their eyes on me: so I made an end of it, and that particularly because I received much offence on one occasion, when, as I fought with Achelous for Dejanira, as Hercules, and almost naked, I was so grossly treated as is not usual in a stage-play.

By this means I became known to many high personages, and it seemed as if fortune would again shine upon me: for ’twas even offered me to enter the king’s service, of which many a great Jack hath not the chance: yet I refused: but much time I spent with ladies of quality that would have me sing and play to them, for both my person and my playing pleased them. Nor will I deny that I gave myself up to the temptations of the Frenchwomen, that entertained me secretly and rewarded me with many gifts for my services, till in the end I was wearied of so vile and shameful a trade, and determined so to play the fool no longer.


Note.⁠—The fourth and fifth chapters of the original edition are devoted to a prolix and tedious account of an adventure⁠—if adventure it may be called⁠—of the kind hinted at in the last sentence of the third chapter. It is absolutely without connection with Simplicissimus’s career as an actor in the war; has no interest as a picture of manners; and finally, can be read much better in Bandello, from whose much livelier story (vol. IV, novel 25, of the complete editions) it is copied. It is therefore omitted here.

IV

How Simplicissimus Departed Secretly and How He Believed He Had the Neapolitan Disease

By this my occupation I gathered together so many gratifications both in money and in things of worth that I was troubled for their safety, and I wondered no longer that women do betake themselves to the stews and do make a trade of this same beastly and lewd pursuit; since it is so profitable. But now I did begin to take this matter to heart, not indeed for any fear of God or prick of conscience, but because I dreaded that I might be caught in some such trick and paid according to my deserts. So now I planned to come back to Germany, and that the more so because the commandant at Lippstadt had written to me he had caught certain merchants of Cologne, whom he would not let go out of his hands till my goods were first delivered to him: item, that he still kept for me the ensigncy he had promised, and would expect me to take it up before the spring: for if I came not then he must bestow it upon another. And with his letter my wife sent me one also full of all loving assurances of her hope to have me back. (Had she but known how I had lived she had surely sent me a greeting of another sort.)

Now could I well conceive ’twould be hard to have my congé from Monsieur Canard, and so

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