Now while Jupiter thus spake he began to make a hunt for the fleas he had upon him: for these, as one might perceive, did plague him sore. And as he did so he cried, “Away with ye, ye little tormentors; I swear to ye by Styx ye shall never have that, that ye so earnestly desire.” So I asked him what he meant by such words. He answered, the nation of the fleas, as soon as they learned he was come on earth, had sent their ambassadors to compliment him: and there had complained to him that, though he had assigned to them the dogs’ coats as a dwelling, yet on account of certain properties common to women, some poor souls went astray and trespassed on the ladies’ furs; and such poor wandering creatures were by the women evil entreated, caught, and not only murdered, but first so miserably martyred and crushed between their fingers that it might move the heart of a stone. “Yea,” said Jupiter further, “they did present their case to me so movingly and piteously that I must needs have sympathy with them and so promised them help, yet on condition I should first hear the women: to that they objected that if ’twas allowed to the women to plead their cause and to oppose them, they knew well they with their poisonous tongues would either impose upon my goodness and loving-kindness, and outcry the fleas themselves, or by their sweet words and their beauty would befool me and lead me astray to a wrong judgment. But if I must allow the women to hunt, catch, and with the hunters’ privilege to slay them in their preserves, then their petition was that they might in future be executed in honourable wise, and either cut down with a poleaxe like oxen or snared like game, and no longer to be so scandalously crushed between the fingers and so broken on the wheel, by which means their own limbs were made instruments of torture.” “Gentlemen,” said I, “ye must be greatly tormented when they thus tyrannise over ye.” “Yea, truly,” said they, “they be so envious of us. Is it right? Can they not suffer us in their territories? for many of them so cleanse their lapdogs with brushes, combs, soap and lye, and other like things, that we are compelled to leave our fatherland and to seek other dwellings.” Thereupon I allowed them to lodge with me and to make my person feel their presence, their ways and works, that I might judge accordingly: and then the rascally crew began so to plague me that, as ye have seen, I must again be rid of them. I will give them a privilege, but only this, that the women may squeeze them and crush them as much as they will: and if I catch any so pestilent a customer I will deal with him no better.
VII
How the Huntsman Again Secured Honour and Booty
Now might we not laugh as heartily as we would, both because we must keep quiet and because this good fool liked it not: wherefore Jump-i’-th’-field came nigh to burst. And just then our lookout man that we had posted in a tree called to us that he saw somewhat coming afar off. So I climbed the tree myself, and saw through my perspective-glass it must be the carriers for whom we lay in wait: they had no one on foot, but some thirty odd troopers for escort, and so I might easily judge they would not go through the wood wherein we lay, but would do their best to keep the open, and there we should have no advantage over them, though there was even there an awkward piece of road that led through the clearing some six hundred paces from us, and three hundred paces from the end of the wood or hill. Now it vexed me to have lain there so long for nought, or at best to have captured only a fool; and so I quickly laid me another plan and that turned out well. For from our place of ambush there ran a brook in a cleft of the ground, which it was easy to ride along, down to the level country: the mouth of this I occupied with twenty men, took my post with them, and bade Jump-i’-th’-field stay in the place where we had been posted to advantage, and ordered each one of my fellows, when the escort should come, that each should aim at his man, and commanded also that some should shoot and some should hold their fire for a reserve. Some old veterans perceived what I intended and how I guessed that the escort would come that way, as having no cause for caution, and because certainly no peasant had been in such a place for a hundred years. But others that believed I could bewitch (for at that time I was in great reputation on that account) thought I would conjure the enemy into our hands. Yet here I needed no devil’s arts, only my Jump-i’-th’-field; for even as the escort, riding pretty close together, was just about to pass by us, he began at my order to bellow most horribly like an ox, and to neigh like a horse; till the whole wood echoed therewith and any man would have sworn there were horses and cattle there. So when the escort heard that they thought to gain booty and to snap up somewhat, which yet was hard to find in such a country so laid waste. So altogether they rode so hard and disorderly into our ambush as if each would be the first to get the hardest blow, and this made them ride so close that in the first salute we gave them thirteen
