The Adventurous Simplicissimus

the Westphalian circle, was collecting troops from all the garrisons to make a cavalry expedition through the bishopric of Münster towards the Vecht, Meppen, Lingen and such places, but specially to drive off two companies of Hessian troopers in the bishopric of Paderborn that lay two miles from the city and had there done our people much damage. So was I ordered out with our dragoons, and when a few troops had been collected at Ham we beat up the quarters of the said troopers, which were but an ill-protected village, till the rest of our people came. They tried to escape, but we drove them back into their nest, and offered them to let them go without horse or weapons but with the clothes on their backs; to this they would not agree, but would defend themselves with their carbines like musketeers. So it came to that, that in the same night I must try what luck I had in storming, for the dragoons led the way; and my luck was so good that I, together with Jump-i’-th’-field, was among the first to come into the town, and that without hurt, and we soon cleared the streets; for all that bore arms were cut down, and the citizens had no stomach for fighting; so we entered the houses. Then said Jump-i’-th’-field, we should choose a house before which a big heap of dung stood, for in such the rich curmudgeons were wont to dwell, with whom commonly officers were billeted: on such a one we seized, and there Jump-i’-th’-field would first visit the stable and I the house, on the condition each should share with the other whatever he could lay hands on. So then each lit his torch, and I called to the master of the house but had no answer, for all had hid themselves, but came upon a room wherein was nought but an empty bed and a covered kneading-trough. This I knocked open in hopes to find somewhat valuable, but as I raised the cover a coal-black thing rose up against me which I took for Lucifer himself. Nay, I can swear I was never in my life so terrified as I was then, when I so unawares beheld this black devil. “May all the powers of hell take thee,” I cried in my fear, and raised my hatchet wherewith I had broke open the trough, yet had not the heart to split the creature’s skull: so down he knelt, raised his hands to me, and says he, “O massa, I beg by de good God, gib me my life.” With that I first knew ’twas no devil, for he spake of God and begged for his life; so I bade him get out of his trough: and that he did as naked as God made him. Then I cut a piece of my torch off for him to light me, the which he did obediently, and brought me to a little room wherein I found the master of the house, who, together with his people, was looking on at this merry sight, and begged with trembling for mercy. And that he easily came by, for in any case we might not harm the burghers, and besides he handed me over the baggage of the Hessian captain, among which was a fairly well-furnished, locked portmanteau, telling me the said captain and all his people, save one servant and the negro now present, were gone to their posts to defend themselves. Meanwhile Jump-i’-th’-field had made prize of the said servant and six fine saddle-horses in the stable: these we brought into the house, barred the doors, and bade the negro to put on his clothes; and told the burgher what story he should tell to his captain. But when the gate was opened and the posts occupied, and our general of ordnance, Count von der Wahl, was admitted, he lodged his staff in the very house where we were. So in dark night we must needs seek other quarters; and these we found with our comrades who had come in with the storming-parties: with them we made merry and spent the rest of the night in eating and drinking, when Jump-i’-th’-field and I had divided our booty. For my share I received the negro and the two best horses, of which one was a Spanish one, on which any soldier might meet his enemy, and with this thereafter I made no small show; but out of the portmanteau I got divers costly rings, and in a golden case set with rubies the Prince of Orange’s portrait (for all the rest I left to Jump-i’-th’-field), so that the whole, if I had desired to give it away, would with the horses have stood me in 200 ducats: since for the negro, that was the poorest part of my booty, the Master-General of Ordnance to whom I presented him gave me two dozen thalers.

Thence we marched quickly to the Ems, yet accomplished but little: and as it happened that we came near Recklinghausen, I took leave, together with Jump-i’-th’-field, to speak with my pastor from whom I had stolen the bacon. With him I made merry and told him the negro had made me feel the same terror which he and his cook had felt, and presented him, moreover, with a fine striking watch for a friendly remembrance, which I had had out of the captain’s portmanteau: and so did I take care to make friends in all places of them that would otherwise have had cause to hate me.

IX

Of an Unequal Combat in Which the Weakest Wins the Day and the Conqueror Is Captured

But with my good fortune my pride so increased that in the end it could bring me nothing but a fall. For as we were encamped some half-hour from Rehnen, I had leave to go into the town with my dear comrade, there to have those arms furbished up