The Adventurous Simplicissimus

to me; for he had orders to promote me before his own kindred. My captain was my enemy because I made a better show in horses, clothing, and arms than he, and no longer spent so much on the old miser as before. He had rather have seen my head hewn off than an ensigncy promised me: for he had thought to inherit my fine horses. In like manner my lieutenant hated me for a single word that I had lately without thought let slip: which came about thus: we two were on the last expedition ordered to a lonely post as vedettes: and as the turn to watch fell to me (which must be done lying down, besides that it was a pitch-dark night), the lieutenant comes to me creeping on his belly like a snake, and says he, “Sentry, dost thou mark aught?” So I answered, “Yea, Herr Lieutenant.” And “What? what?” says he. I answered, “I mark that your honour is afeared.” And from thenceforward I had no more favour with him. Wherever the danger was greatest thither was I sent first of all; yea, he sought in all places and at all times to dust my jacket before I became ensign, and so could not defend myself. Nor were the sergeants less my enemies, because I was preferred to them all. And as to the privates, they too began to fail in their love and friendship to me, because it seemed I despised them, inasmuch as I no longer consorted specially with them but, as aforesaid, with greater Jacks, which loved me none the more.

But the worst was that no man told me how each was minded towards me, and so I could not perceive it, for many a one talked with me in friendliest wise that had sooner seen me dead. So I lived like a blind man in all security and became ever haughtier: and though I knew it vexed this one and that if I made a greater show than noblemen and officers of rank, yet I held not back. I feared not to wear a collar of sixty rix-dollars, red-scarlet hose, and white satin sleeves, trimmed all over with gold, which was at that time the dress of the highest officers: and therefore an eyesore to all. Yet was I a terrible young fool so to play the lord: for had I dealt otherwise and bestowed the money I so uselessly did hang upon my body in proper ways, I should have soon gained my ensigncy and also not have made so many enemies. Yet I stopped not here, but decked out my best horse, which Jump-i’-th’-field had gotten from the Hessian captain, with saddle, bridle, and arms in such fashion that when I was mounted one might well have taken me for another St. George. And nothing grieved me more than to know I was no nobleman, and so could not clothe my servant and my horseboys in my livery. Yet, I thought, all things have their beginning; if thou hast a coat-of-arms then canst thou have thine own livery; and when thou art an ensign, thou must have a signet-ring, though thou art no nobleman. I was not long pregnant with these thoughts, but had a coat-of-arms devised for me by a herald, which was three red masks in a white field, and for a crest, a bust of a young jester in a calfskin with a pair of hare’s ears, adorned with little balls in front: for I thought this suited best with my name, being called Simplicissimus. And so would I have the fool to remind me in my future high estate what manner of fellow I had been in Hanau, lest I should become too proud, for already I thought no small things of myself. And so was I properly the first of my name and race and escutcheon, and if any had jeered at me thereupon, I had without doubt presented him a sword or a pair of pistols. And though I had yet no thoughts of womenkind, yet all the same I went with the young nobles when they visited young ladies, of whom there were many in the town, to let myself be seen and to make a show with my fine hair, clothes, and plumes. I must confess that for the sake of my figure I was preferred before all, yet must I all the same hear how the spoilt baggages compared me with a fair and well-cut statue in which, beside its beauty, was neither strength nor sap; for that was all they desired in me: and except the lute-playing there was nothing I could do or perform to please them: for of love as yet I knew nothing. But when they that knew how to pay their court would gibe at me for my wooden behaviour and awkwardness, to make themselves more beloved and to show off their ready speech, then would I answer, ’twas enough for me if I could still find my pleasure in a bright sword or a good musket, and the ladies held me right: and this angered the gentlemen so that they secretly swore to have my life, though there was none that had heart enough to challenge me or give me cause enough to challenge one of them, for which a couple of buffets or any insulting word had been sufficient; and I gave every chance for this by my loose talk, from which the ladies argued I must be a lad of mettle, and said openly my figure and my noble heart could plead better with any lady than all the compliments that Cupid ever devised: and that made the rest angrier than ever.

XII

How Fortune Unexpectedly Bestowed on the Huntsman a Noble Present

I had two fine horses that were at that time all the joy I had in the world. Every day I rode them in the riding-school or