June Moon

about a month later. Goldie comes on and goes to the music racks. While she is searching for songs, Benny enters. Except that Benny never just enters⁠—he shoots on.

Benny	Where’s Hart?
Goldie	He’s out somewhere.
Benny	Did you tell him I wanted to see him?
Goldie	Yes, but he was on his way out.
Benny	What did he say?
Goldie	Nothing. He just hurried.
Benny	I’ve got to see him. I’ve got a number that will knock his eye out.
Goldie	Like “Tokyo?”
Benny	Don’t kid me about “Tokyo.” If ever a man got a crooked deal! Listen⁠—
Goldie	I’ve heard it.
Benny	You ain’t heard it all because I didn’t know it myself till last night. Harry Ruby told me at the Friars. It seems that the night I played it there, there was a fella named Stein hanging around.
Goldie	Incredulous. At the Friars?
Benny	Well, he hears my number, and he tells these other fellas, and they turn out their damn “Hello, Shanghai!” and beat me to it. It’s increditable, but that’s what happened. And on top of that Maxie says their number is better than mine because Shanghai’s further away than Tokyo. I’ll kill the two of them the first time I get them alone together, I don’t care if they got a thousand friends with them. And that ain’t all. They stole my song and I’m going to sue them for perjury.
Goldie	I think you’ll get it.
Benny	And it wasn’t only a song they stole⁠—it was a whole production. A musical comedy. That’s where the big money is. And that’s what I’m going to get into. I’ll tell you something. Confidentially. I’m not going to be with Goebel’s much longer.
Goldie	I heard that.
Benny	Who from?
Goldie	Mr. Goebel.
Benny	You couldn’t⁠—he doesn’t know it yet.
Goldie	Oh!
Benny	I’m quitting and they can see how they like that. They can get along with Stevens and his brilliant ideas. “June Moon!” The lucky saphead!
Goldie	It was on at five different stations last night.
Benny	The oldest idea in the world! And I write a great novelty number and it’s stole off me!
	Paul arrives.
Paul	To Goldie. Have you seen Stevens?
Benny	Want to hear a great song?
Paul	Still to Goldie. Have you?
Goldie	He hasn’t come in.
Benny	Get this, Paul! Tell me if you don’t think it’ll slaughter them! Benny hits one chord; Hart enters. Hello, Boss! You’re just in time!
Hart	A wave of the hand that takes care of Benny for the moment. Where’s Stevens? Is he in yet?
Paul	I’m waiting for him myself.
Hart	To Goldie. Call his hotel. See if he’s there.
Goldie	I did a while ago. He was out.
Hart	See if they know where to get a hold of him. Goldie goes. She loves her work, this girl. How are you coming with the new numbers?
Paul	Uncomfortably. Pretty good, only Fred don’t seem to want to work lately. He was going to meet me here at eleven.
Hart	He ought to be getting busy. He’s not going to work on his honeymoon.
Paul	No, sir.
Hart	When he comes in, tell him I’d like to see him.
Paul	Yes, sir. He goes out.
Benny	Stopping Hart before he can escape. Listen, Mr. Hart! It won’t take me two minutes to show you this number. It’s sure to hit you.
Hart	Anything like “Tokyo”?
Benny	I had a tough break on that, Mr. Hart⁠—that “Hello, Shanghai.” Why, do you know what? There ain’t even a telephone between New York and Shanghai!
Hart	Well, we’ll have one put in. Maxie comes on. Oh, Maxie, I was just going to send for you. There’s a young fellow outside who has written a song.
Maxie	Who is it?
Hart	That’s just the point. Somebody my sister-in-law sent, so do whatever you can for him. He’s only sixteen years old.
Maxie	And still grinding them out?
Hart	It’s probably one of those things, but you know⁠—you never can tell. Anything can happen, after “June Moon.”
Maxie	As long as you’ve brought that up, would you mind answering me a riddle?
Hart	What is it?
Maxie	Did you have any idea that was going to be a hit? Honestly, now?
Hart	Hesitantly. Well, I’ll tell you, Maxie⁠—
Maxie	Starts to leave. That’s all I wanted to know.
Hart	Do whatever you can for the lad, Maxie. He came all the way from Plainfield.
Maxie	He’ll get home safe. He goes.
Benny	Still trying. Listen, Mr. Hart, won’t you hear this?
Hart	Hear what?
Benny	This number. The title is “Give Our Child a Name.” It’ll make “June Moon” sound like a dirge. It’s a couple that give birth to a little one in two-four tempo.
Hart	It won’t do you any good knocking Stevens’s number.
Benny	I ain’t knocking his lousy number, but get this, Mr. Hart! He jumps to the piano. “Should a father’s carnal sins Blight the life of babykins? All I ask is give our child a⁠—”
	His hands descend on the keyboard in an annoyed discord as Fred and Eileen enter.
Hart	Well! Here’s the groom at last!
	Benny goes, banging the door behind him.
Eileen	You can blame it on me. I’ve been making him get some new clothes.
Hart	Well, you two are certainly to be congratulated.
Eileen	Thanks.
Fred	Much obliged.
Hart	But don’t forget your work. When do you sail?
Eileen	Saturday.
Fred	We sail Saturday.
Hart	Having his bit of fun. I certainly envy you. I wish I could go along.
Fred	There’s no chance, I suppose?
Hart	Not at this time of year. Visibly enjoying the situation. If you could postpone it a month⁠—
Fred	Brightening. Yah, that might be a good idea!
Eileen	Don’t be silly!
Fred	I forgot. Eileen wants to be on the Riveeria in the season.
Hart	I see. Well, I hope they don’t take you at Monte Carlo.
Fred	If they don’t take us there we can go somewheres else.
Hart	Anyhow, be sure to get your work done. He starts to go.
Eileen	Oh, Mr. Hart!
Hart	Yes?
Eileen	Fred wants to