If I Had a Father

can’t call it running any risk. What lines!⁠—You will let me drop in some day when you’ve got your model here? Gervaise Impossible. Waterfield You don’t mean⁠—? Gervaise I had no model. Waterfield No model? Ha! ha!⁠—You must excuse me! Gervaise takes up the wet sheet. I understand. Reasons. A little mystery enhances⁠—eh?⁠—is convenient too⁠—balks intrusion⁠—throws the drapery over the mignonette. I understand. Gervaise covers the clay. Oh! pray don’t carry out my figure. That is a damper now! Gervaise I am not fond of acting the showman. You must excuse me: I am busy. Waterfield Ah well!⁠—some other time⁠—when you’ve got on with her a bit. Good morning. Ta, ta, Warren. Gervaise Good morning. This way, if you please. Shows him out by the door to the street. How did the fellow find his way here? Warren I am the culprit, I’m sorry to say. He asked me for your address, and I gave it him. Gervaise How long have you known him? Warren A month or two. Gervaise Don’t bring him here again. Warren Don’t say I brought him. I didn’t do that. But I’m afraid you’ve not seen the last of him. Gervaise Oh yes, I have! Old Martha would let in anybody, but I’ve got a man now.⁠—William! Enter Col. Gervaise dressed as a servant. You didn’t see the gentleman just gone, I’m afraid, William? Col. Gervaise No, sir. Gervaise Don’t let in anyone calling himself “Waterfield.” Col. Gervaise No, sir. Gervaise I’m going out with Mr. Warren. I shall be back shortly. Col. Gervaise Very well, sir. Exit into the house. Gervaise To Warren. I can’t touch clay again till I get that fellow out of my head. Warren Come along, then. Exeunt Gervaise and Warren Reenter Col. Gervaise polishing a boot. Regards it with dissatisfaction. Col. Gervaise Confound the thing! I wish it were a scabbard. When I think I’m getting it all right⁠—one rub more and it’s gone dull again! The house-door opens slowly, and Thomas peeps cautiously in. Thomas What sort of a plaze be this, maister? Col. Gervaise You ought to have asked that outside. How did you get in? Thomas By th’ dur-hole. Iv yo leave th’ dur oppen, th’ dogs’ll coom in. Col. Gervaise I must speak to Martha again. She will leave the street-door open!⁠—Well, you needn’t look so frightened. It ain’t a robbers’ cave. Thomas That be more’n aw knaw⁠—not for sartin sure, maister. Nobory mun keawnt upon nobory up to Lonnon, they tells mo. But iv a gentleman axes mo into his heawse, aw’m noan beawn to be afeard. Aw’ll coom in, for mayhap yo can help mo. It be a coorous plaze. What dun yo mak here? Col. Gervaise What would you think now? Thomas It looks to mo like a mason’s shed⁠—a greight one. Col. Gervaise You’re not so far wrong. Thomas Advancing. It do look a queer plaze. Aw be noan so sure abeawt it. But they wonnot coot mo throat beout warnin’. Aw’ll bother noan. Sits down on the dais and wipes his face. Well, aw be a’most weary. Col. Gervaise Is there anything I can do for you? Thomas Nay, aw donnot know; but beout aw get somebory to help mo, aw dunnot think aw’ll coom to th’ end in haste. Aw’re a lookin’ for summut aw’ve lost, mou. Col. Gervaise Did you come all the way from Lancashire to look for it? Thomas Eh, lad! aw thowt thae’rt beawn to know wheer aw coom fro! Col. Gervaise Anybody could tell that, the first word you spoke. I mean no offence. Thomas Looking disappointed. Well, noan’s ta’en. But thae dunnot say thae’s ne’er been to Lancashire thisel’? Col. Gervaise No, I don’t say that: I’ve been to Lancashire several times. Thomas Wheer to? Col. Gervaise Why, Manchester. Thomas That’s noan ov it. Col. Gervaise And Lancaster. Thomas Tut! tut! That’s noan of it, nayther. Col. Gervaise And Liverpool. I was once there for a whole week. Thomas Nay, nay. Noather o’ those plazes. Fur away off ’em. Col. Gervaise But what does it matter where I have or haven’t been? Thomas Mun aw tell tho again? Aw’ve lost summut, aw tell tho. Didsto ne’er hear tell ov th’ owd woman ’at lost her shillin’? Hoo couldn’t sit her deawn beawt hoo feawnd it! Yon’s me. Hides his face in his hands. Col. Gervaise Ah! now I begin to guess! Aside.⁠—You don’t mean you’ve lost your⁠— Thomas Starting up and grasping his stick with both hands. Aw do mane aw’ve lost mo yung lass; and aw dunnot say thae’s feawnd her, but aw do say thae knows wheer hoo is. Aw do. Theighur! Nea then! Col. Gervaise What on earth makes you think that? I don’t know what you’re after. Thomas Thae knows well enough. Thae knowed what aw’d lost afoor aw tou’d tho yo’ be deny in’ your own name. Thae knows. Aw’ll tay tho afore the police, beout thou gie her oop. Aw wull. Col. Gervaise What story have you to tell the police then? They’ll want to know. Thomas Story saysto? The dule’s i’ th’ mon! Didn’t aw seigh th’ mon ’at stealed her away goo into this heawse not mich over hauve an hour ago?⁠—Aw seigh him wi’ mo own eighes. Col. Gervaise Why didn’t you speak to him? Thomas He poppit in at th’ same dur, and there aw’ve been a-watching ever since. Aw’ve not took my eighes off ov it. He’s somewheeres now in this same heawse. Col. Gervaise He may have been out in the morning aside.⁠—But you see there are more doors than one to the place. There is a back door; and there is a door out into the street. Thomas Eigh! eigh! Th’ t’one has to do wi’ th’ t’other⁠—have it? Three dur-holes to one shed! That looks bad! Col. Gervaise He’s not here, whoever it was. There’s not a man but myself in the place. Thomas Hea am aw to know yo’re not playin’ a marlock wi’ mo? He’ll be oop i’ th’ heawse theer. Aw mun go look going. Col. Gervaise Preventing him. And how am I to know you’re not a housebreaker? Thomas Dun yo think an owd