If I Had a Father

it. There seemed some truth⁠—something suspicious. Gervaise Perhaps my aunt can throw some light upon it. Col. Gervaise lingers. That will do. Exit Col. Gervaise. How oddly the man behaves! A sunstroke in India, perhaps. Or he may have had a knock on the head. I must keep my eye on him. Stops working, steps backward, and gazes at the Psyche. She is growing very like someone! Who can it be? She knows she is puzzling me, the beauty! See how she is keeping back a smile! She knows if she lets one smile out, her whole face will follow it through the clay. How strange the half-lights of memory are! You know and you don’t know⁠—both at once. Like a bat in the twilight you are sure of it, and the same moment it is nowhere. Who is my Psyche like?⁠—The forehead above the eyebrow, and round by the temple? The half-playful, half-sorrowful curve of the lip? The hope in the lifted eyelid? There is more there than ever I put there. Some power has been shaping my ends. By heaven, I have it!⁠—No⁠—yes⁠—it is⁠—it is Constance⁠—momently dawning out of the clay! What does this mean? She never gave me a sitting⁠—at least, she has not done so for the last ten years⁠—yet here she is⁠—she, and no other! I never thought she was beautiful. When she came with my aunt the other day though, I did fancy I saw a new soul dawning through the lovely face. Here it is⁠—the same soul breaking through the clay of my Psyche!⁠—I will give just one touch to the corner of the mouth. Gives a few touches, then steps back again and contemplates the figure. Turns away and walks up and down. The light darkens to slow plaintive music, which lasts for a minute. Then the morning begins to dawn, gleaming blue upon the statues and casts, and revealing Gervaise seated before his Psyche, gazing at her. He rises, and exit. Enter Col. Gervaise and looks about. Col. Gervaise I don’t know what to make of it! Or rather I’m afraid I do know what to make of it! It looks bad. He’s not been in bed all night. But it shows he has some conscience left⁠—and that’s a comfort. Enter Mrs. Clifford, peeping round cautiously. Col. Gervaise What, Clara! you here so early! Mrs. Clifford Well, you know, brother, you’re so fond of mystery! Col. Gervaise It’s very kind of you to come! But we must be very careful; I can’t tell when my master may be home. Mrs. Clifford Has he been out all night, then? Col. Gervaise Oh no; he’s just gone. Mrs. Clifford I never knew him such an early bird. I made sure he was safe in bed for a couple of hours yet. But I do trust, Walter, you have had enough of this fooling, and are prepared to act like a rational man and a gentleman. Col. Gervaise On the contrary, Clara, with my usual obstinacy, I am more determined than ever that my boy shall not know me, until, as I told you, I have rendered him such service as may prove me not altogether unworthy to be his father. Twenty years of neglect will be hard to surmount. Mrs. Clifford But mere menial service cannot discharge the least portion of your obligations. As his father alone can you really serve him. Col. Gervaise You persist in misunderstanding me. This is not the service I mean. I scorn the fancy. This is only the means, as I told you plainly before, of finding out how I may serve him⁠—of learning what he really needs⁠—or most desires. If I fail in discovering how to recommend myself to him, I shall go back to India, and content myself with leaving him a tolerable fortune. Mrs. Clifford How ever a hair-brained fellow like you, Walter, could have made such a soldier!⁠—Why don’t you tell your boy you love him, and have done with it? Col. Gervaise I will, as soon as I have proof to back the assertion. Mrs. Clifford I tell you it is rank pride. Col. Gervaise It may be pride, sister; but it is the pride of a repentant thief who puts off his confession until he has the money in his hand to prove the genuineness of his sorrow. Mrs. C. It never was of any use to argue with you, Walter; you know that, or at least I know it. So I give up.⁠—I trust you have got over your prejudice against his profession. It is not my fault. Col. Gervaise In truth, I had forgotten the profession⁠—as you call it⁠—in watching the professor. Mrs. Clifford And has it not once occurred to you to ask how he may take such watching? Col. Gervaise By the time he is aware of it, he will be ready to understand it. Mrs. Clifford But suppose he should discover you before you have thus established your position? Col. Gervaise I must run the risk. Mrs. Clifford Suppose then you should thus find out something he would not have you know? Col. Gervaise Hurriedly. Do you imagine his servant might know a thing he would hide from his father? Mrs. Clifford I do not, Walter. I can trust him. But he might well resent the espionage of even his father. You cannot get rid of the vile look of the thing. Col. Gervaise Again I say, my boy shall be my judge, and my love shall be my plea. In any case I shall have to ask his forgiveness. But there is his key in the lock! Run into the house. Exit Mrs. Clifford Enter Gervaise, and goes straight to the Psyche. Col. Gervaise Breakfast is waiting, sir. Gervaise By and by, William. Col. Gervaise You haven’t been in bed, sir! Gervaise Well? What of that? Col. Gervaise I hope you’re not ill, sir. Gervaise Not in the least: I work all night sometimes.⁠—You can go. Col. Gervaise lingers, with a searching gaze at the Psyche.⁠—I don’t want anything. Col. Gervaise Pardon me,