If I Had a Father

sir, but I am sure you are ill. You’ve done no work since last night. Gervaise With displeasure. I am quite well, and wish to be alone. Col. Gervaise Mayn’t I go and fetch a doctor, sir? It is better to take things in time. Gervaise You are troublesome. Exit Col. Gervaise.⁠—What can the fellow mean? He looked at me so strangely too! He’s officious⁠—that’s all, I dare say. A good sort of man, I do think! William!⁠—What is it in the man’s face?⁠—Enter Col. Gervaise. Is the breakfast ready? Col. Gervaise Quite ready, sir. Gervaise I’m sorry I spoke to you so hastily. The fact is⁠— Col. Gervaise Don’t mention it, sir. Speak as you will to me; I shan’t mind it. When there’s anything on a man’s conscience⁠—I⁠—I⁠—I mean on a man’s mind⁠— Gervaise What do you mean? Col. Gervaise I mean, when there is anything there, he can’t well help his temper, sir. Gervaise I don’t understand you; but, anyhow, you⁠—go too far, William. Col. Gervaise I beg your pardon, sir: I forgot myself. I do humbly beg your pardon. Shall I make some fresh coffee, sir? It’s not cold⁠—only it’s stood too long. Gervaise The coffee will do well enough. Exit Col. Gervaise.⁠—Is she so beautiful? Turning to the Psyche.⁠—Is there a likeness?⁠—I see it.⁠—Nonsense! A mere chance confluence of the ideal and the actual.⁠—Even then the chance must mean something. Such a mere chance would indeed be a strange one! Enter Constance. Oh, my heart! here she comes! my Psyche herself!⁠—Well, Constance! Constance Oh, Arthur, I am so glad I’ve found you! I want to talk to you about something. I know you don’t care much about me now, but I must tell you, for it would be wrong not. Gervaise Aside. How beautiful she is! What can she have to tell me about? It cannot be⁠—it shall not be⁠—. Sit down, won’t you? Offering her a chair. Constance No. You sit there pointing to the dais, and I will sit here placing herself on the lower step. It was here I used to sit so often when I was a little girl. Why can’t one keep little? I was always with you then! Sighs. Gervaise It is not my fault, Constance. Constance Oh no! I suppose it can’t be. Only I don’t see why. Oh, Arthur, where should I be but for you! I saw the old place yesterday. How dreadful and yet how dear it was! Gervaise Who took you there? Constance Nobody. I went alone. Gervaise It was hardly safe.⁠—I don’t like your going out alone, Constance. Constance Why, Arthur! I used to know every court and alley about Shoreditch better than I know Berkeley Square now! Gervaise But what made you go there? Constance I went to find a dressmaker who has been working for my aunt, and lost my way. And⁠—would you believe it?⁠—I was actually frightened! Gervaise No wonder! There are rough people about there. Constance I never used to think them rough when I lived among them with my father and mother. There must be just as good people there as anywhere else. Yet I could not help shuddering at the thought of living there again!⁠—How strange it made me feel! You have been my angel, Arthur. What would have become of me if you hadn’t taken me, I dare not think. Gervaise I have had my reward, Constance: you are happy. Constance Not quite. There’s something I want to tell you. Gervaise Tell on, child. Constance Oh, thank you!⁠—that is how you used to talk to me. Hesitates. Gervaise With foreboding. Well, what is it? Constance Pulling the fingers of her gloves. A gentleman⁠—you know him⁠—has been⁠—calling upon aunt⁠—and me. We have seen a good deal of him. Gervaise Who is he? Constance Mr. Waterfield. Keeps her eyes on the floor. Gervaise Well? Constance He says⁠—he⁠—he⁠—he wants me to marry him.⁠—Aunt likes him. Gervaise And you? Constance I like him too. I don’t think I like him enough⁠—I dare say I shall. It is so good of him to take poor me! He is very rich, they say. Gervaise Have you accepted him? Constance I am afraid he thinks so.⁠—Ye⁠—e⁠—s.⁠—I hardly know. Gervaise Haven’t you⁠—been rather⁠—in a hurry⁠—Constance? Constance No, indeed! I haven’t been in a hurry at all. He has been a long time trying to make me like him. I have been too long a burden to Mrs. Clifford. Gervaise So! it is her doing, then! Constance You were away, you know. Gervaise Bitterly. Yes; too far⁠—chipping stones and making mud-pies! Constance I don’t know what you mean by that, Arthur. Gervaise Oh⁠—nothing. I mean that⁠—that⁠—Of course if you are engaged to him, then⁠— Constance I’m afraid I’ve done very wrong, Arthur. If I had thought you would care!⁠—I knew aunt would be pleased!⁠—she wanted me to have him, I knew.⁠—I ought to do what I can to please her⁠—ought I not? I have no right to⁠— Gervaise Surely, surely. Yes, yes; I understand. It was not your fault. Only you mustn’t marry him, if you⁠—. Thank you for telling me. Constance I ought to have told you before⁠—before I let him speak to me again. But I didn’t think you would care⁠—not much. Gervaise Yes, yes. Constance Looking up with anxiety. Ah! you are vexed with me, Arthur! I see how wrong it was now. I never saw you look like that. I am very, very sorry. Bursts into tears. Gervaise No, no, child! Only it is rather sudden, and I want to think about it. Shall I send William home with you? Constance No, thank you. I have a cab waiting. You’re not angry with your little beggar, Arthur? Gervaise What is there to be angry about, child? Constance That I⁠—did anything without asking you first. Gervaise Nonsense! You couldn’t help it. You’re not to blame one bit. Constance Oh, yes, I am! I ought to have asked you first. But indeed I did not know you would care. Goodbye.⁠—Shall I go at once? Gervaise Goodbye. Exit Constance, looking back troubled. Come at last! Oh fool! fool! fool! In love with her at last!⁠—and too late! For three