Ivanov

and am dressed by a valet, so I am a scoundrel and a slave-owner. He is simply bursting with honesty. Nothing is good enough for him. I am positively afraid of him.⁠ ⁠… Yes, indeed! any minute he may slap you in the face or call you a scoundrel from a sense of duty. Ivanov He wearies me dreadfully, but at the same time I like him; he is so sincere. Shabelsky Nice sort of sincerity! He came up to me yesterday evening, and apropos of nothing at all: “You are deeply repulsive to me, Count!” I am very much obliged! And all that not simply, but from principle: his voice shakes, his eyes flash, and he is all of a tremor.⁠ ⁠… Damnation take his wooden sincerity! He may find me hateful and disgusting; it’s natural enough. I can see that, but why tell me so to my face? I am a wretched creature, but anyway my hair is grey.⁠ ⁠… A stupid, pitiless honesty! Lebedyev Come, come, come!⁠ ⁠… You’ve been young yourself, and can make allowances. Shabelsky Yes, I’ve been young and foolish: I’ve played the Tchatsky in my day. I’ve denounced rascals and blackguards, but never in my life have I called a man a thief to his face, or talked of the gallows in the house of a man who has been hanged. I was decently brought up. But your dull-witted doctor would be in the seventh heaven and feel that he was fulfilling his mission, if fate would grant him the opportunity of publicly slapping me in the face and punching me in the pit of the stomach for the sake of principle and the great ideals of humanity. Lebedyev Young people are always self-assertive. I had an uncle, a Hegelian⁠ ⁠… he would invite a houseful of visitors, drink with them, stand up on a chair like this and begin: “You are ignorant! You are the powers of darkness! The dawn of a new life,” etc., etc., etc.⁠ ⁠… He would go on and on at them. Sasha And what did the visitors do? Lebedyev Oh, nothing⁠ ⁠… they just listened and went on drinking. Once, though, I challenged him to a duel⁠ ⁠… my own uncle. It was about Bacon. I remember, if I am right, I was sitting where Matvey is now, and my uncle and Gerassim Nilitch were standing as it might be here, where Nikolay is.⁠ ⁠… And Gerassim Nilitch, if you please, puts the question⁠ ⁠… Borkin, foppishly dressed, with a parcel in his hand, comes in at door on right, humming and skipping about. A murmur of approval. Young Ladies Mihail Mihailitch! Lebedyev Mihail Mihailitch! My ears tell me⁠ ⁠… Shabelsky The soul of the party! Borkin Here I am! Runs up to Sasha. Noble lady! I venture to make so bold as to congratulate the universe on the birth of so marvellous a flower as you.⁠ ⁠… As the tribute of my enthusiasm may I dare to offer you gives her the parcel some fireworks and Bengal fires of my own manufacture? May they illuminate the night as you lighten the gloom of the kingdom of darkness makes a theatrical bow. Sasha Thank you.⁠ ⁠… Lebedyev Laughing, to Ivanov. Why don’t you get rid of that Judas? Borkin To Lebedyev. My respects to Pavel Kirillitch! To Ivanov. To my patron! Sings. Nicolas, voilà, ho-hi-ho. Makes the round of the whole party. To the most honoured Zinaida Savishna! Divine Marfa Yegorovna⁠ ⁠… most ancient Avdotya Nazarovna⁠ ⁠… most illustrious Count.⁠ ⁠… Shabelsky Laughs. The soul of the party.⁠ ⁠… As soon as he comes in the atmosphere grows lighter. Have you noticed it? Borkin Ough, I am tired.⁠ ⁠… I believe I have greeted everybody now. Well, what’s the news, ladies and gentlemen? Is there nothing special to wake us up? Briskly to Zinaida Savishna. I say, mamma⁠ ⁠… as I was on the way here⁠ ⁠… To Gavril. Give me some tea, Gavril, but no gooseberry jam! To Zinaida Savishna. As I was on the way here I saw the peasants stripping the bark of your osiers on the river. Why don’t you let a dealer have them? Lebedyev To Ivanov. Why don’t you get rid of that Judas? Zinaida Aghast. I might, that’s true, the idea never struck me! Borkin Does drill exercises with his arms. I can’t get on without exercise.⁠ ⁠… What can I do that’s extra special, mamma? Marfa Yegorovna, I am in form tonight⁠ ⁠… wild with excitement! Sings. “Once more I stand before thee.⁠ ⁠…” Zinaida Get up something, for we are all bored. Borkin Really! Why are you all so down in the mouth? You sit like jurymen!⁠ ⁠… Let us do something. What would you like? Forfeits? Hide the ring? Touch third? Dancing? Fireworks? Young Ladies Clap their hands. Fireworks! Fireworks! They run into the garden. Sasha To Ivanov. Why are you so depressed this evening? Ivanov My head aches, Sasha, and I am bored.⁠ ⁠… Sasha Come into the drawing-room. They go towards door on right; everyone goes into the garden except Zinaida Savishna and Lebedyev. Zinaida Well, that’s something like a young man⁠—before he has been here a minute he has cheered them all up turns down the big lamp. While they are all out in the garden it is no use wasting the candles puts out the candles. Lebedyev Following her. Zyuzushka, we ought to give our visitors something to eat.⁠ ⁠… Zinaida There, what a lot of candles⁠ ⁠… no wonder people think we are rich puts out the candles. Lebedyev Following her. Zyuzushka, you ought to give the people something to eat.⁠ ⁠… They are young people, I bet they are hungry, poor things.⁠ ⁠… Zyuzushka.⁠ ⁠… Zinaida The Count has not finished his glass. Simply wasting sugar! Goes towards door on left. Lebedyev Tfoo! Goes out into the garden. Enter Ivanov and Sasha. Sasha Comes in with Ivanov from door on right. They have all gone into the garden. Ivanov That’s how it is, Sasha. In old days I did a