was to see her eyes glistening with tears -a sight that pierced me to the heart. In a moment she had recovered the empire of my affections, which Madame had for a time deprived her of. I could never have imagined it possible that I should feel myself so utterly absorbed in love for her.
I found that she was jealous of my attentions to another, and I could not convince her that her suspicions were unfounded. She wanted me to promise that I would not visit Madame Dinville any more, and then I told her that I had received an invitation for the third day following, which I could not well avoid accepting.
“If that be the ease,” said she, “come by all means, and I will pretend to be ill, that you may pass the whole day with me in my chamber; but you have not yet seen it; come with me now, I will show it you.”
As I followed her, a most disagreeable anticipation of the misfortune about to befall me was harrowing up my very soul.
“Here,” said she, opening the door of a sweet little chamber, “this is my room; and I fancy you will have no objection to spending the evening with me.”
“O my Susan how delicious it will be! What happiness you promise me!”
“O it will be so sweet to give ourselves up entirely to love-but it strikes me that you view the matter with great indifference, if you can wait three days so easily?”
I felt the force of this reproach, and at the same time my own incapability of proving it to be unjust. How bitterly I cursed the pleasures enjoyed with Madame Dinville! “Here am I alone with Susan,” I exclaimed mentally, “without the power to prove how much I love her.” In the midst of my distress, I recollected that the lady had given me some lozenges, and I supposed they were intended to produce the same effect as the liquor she had used to invigorate me. Hoping they would be as prompt in their operation, I swallowed several of them. But all my hopes were in vain; however, I laid Susan down on the bed and placed myself upon her-but friction, frigging, and every means of excitement still left me in the same state of utter impotence: I could give her nothing but my finger. A deathlike coldness had chilled my whole frame. Susan sighed at seeing my condition, and I cursed the fatal present of Madame Dinville; for I imagined that she had foreseen what was likely to happen and had given me the lozenges to complete my exhaustion. I was just going to confess my impotence to Susan, when I was helped out of my dilemma in a totally unexpected manner; for the bedcurtains were suddenly thrown back by some invisible hand, which also inflicted a most tremendous slap on my naked posteriors. I was too frightened to scream-but I jumped up and ran off as hastily as I could, leaving poor Susan to face the spectre alone. Had I been cooler in my flight, I should easily have recognized in that devilish apparition the forbidding profile of the Abbe Pilot clad only in shirt and night cap, gesticulating wildly and swearing like a pagan. But the fear which drove every other thought from my mind also gave me wings with which to fly. I left the chateau as speedily as my legs could carry me, and had not ceased trembling when in my bed at the rector's. I slept soundly, but when I awoke in the morning was so weak as to be unable to get up. I was then convinced how necessary it is in even our highest enjoyments, to avoid going to excess. My own fears were soon gone, but I was still very uneasy about Susan.
On the night before the day appointed for my visit to the chateau I felt but little desirous to undergo the exercise that I knew awaited me there, but when I thought of the sorry figure I cut with Susan, the lozenges occurred to my memory, and I immediately ate all that remained. I soon after fell asleep, and was awakened by the violence of the erection which ensued, and I should have verily been afraid the nerves would break, had I not experienced the same when with Madame Dinville. I had nothing but my fist to have recourse to, and was amusing, myself with that poor succedaneum, when I caught a glimpse of some one at the foot of my bed who instantly retired. I was not frightened at this, thinking it might be the abbe of whom I have spoken when describing Miss Nicole. Where can he be going? thought I-to roger the said young lady, no doubt, was my answer. So I resolved he should not go alone, instantly got out of bed, and proceeded to the corridor where I knew the fair one's chamber to be. I found one with the door open, which I entered, and cautiously approached the bed. I heard a breathing, but only of one person. I was not long in determining to take the abbe's place and proceeded forthwith to slip my hands up the lady's thighs and give her a kiss.
“What a time you have made me wait!” said she; “I was just falling asleep; get in directly, pray.”
I accordingly was in bed in a moment, and upon my Venus in another; she received me rather coldly. I was up to this indifference that she imagined she was showing off to her lover, and blessed my stars for the lucky chance of being revenged on one who had so often treated me with contempt. After all the preparatory pawing and kissing, the crisis came on, and I swam in a flood of pleasure. In a few minutes I repeated the dose, to her no small surprise; and could very well have gone a third time, but withheld for prudential reasons. Two discharges are generally sufficient to diminish one's ferocity, and dissipate the illusions of love. Indeed I felt the truth of the last observation, for in passing my hands over the beauties of my nymph, I was astonished at the change that had taken place in a few minutes. Her thighs, which before were smooth, plump, and firm, had become wrinkled, shrunk, and flabby; her shell was nothing but a handful of dry shrivelled skin; her breasts merely two leather bags. But all this would not have prevented me mounting the breach a third time and I was even preparing to do so, when we heard a row in the chamber next us, which I took to be the housekeeper's. On hearing the disturbance my partner exclaimed-“Good heavens! What are they doing to our child? Are they killing her? Go and see!” I did not reply to this, being so much amazed at its purport that I did not know what I was about. While I hesitated, the noise continued, and my bedfellow had recourse to the tinder-box, and when the candle was lighted, I saw my partner was the old housekeeper! I stood petrified at the sight of this phantom, and discovered that I had mistaken the localities. It appeared that the good rector had made an appointment with his housekeeper that night, to work off the superabundance of his carnal humors, and that she, taking me for him, had reproached me for delaying so long; the good priest to avoid all scandal had waited to a late hour, and passing by his niece's chamber and finding the door open, his affection for her had induced him to approach the bed, where he found her in the arms of a man, and, horror-struck at the sight, he gave them both unequivocal proofs of his disapprobation.
The noise became louder and louder, and I feared murder would be the end, but Madame Francoise ran with her candle, and cut off my hopes of escape during the turmoil by double-locking the door. I tried to get out, but could not, so was obliged to wait my fate where I was.
At the moment I was giving way to despair, the wheel of fortune fumed in my favor. The disturbance had much increased at the appearance of Francoise, who, as soon as she beheld the rector, dropped the candlestick, thinking it must be a ghost. I wish I could give this picture as it deserves, but must let a mere sketch suffice. There stood the rector in his shirt, with a greasy cap in his head, his eyes staring, his mouth wide open, striking at the abbe and his niece; while the damsel was burying herself in the bed, and her lover covering himself with the counterpane, and making occasional attempts to put his fist in the parson's face. On the other side was my late bedfellow in her shift, the candle in hand, advancing towards them, just essaying to cry out, but, struck dumb with fear, she falls backwards into a chair.
I guessed from the sudden silence that ensued that the abbe, fearing an ecktircissement, had run away and was pursued by the rector. In a moment I heard the door of the chamber where. 1 was imprisoned opened, and shut again directly. The person made straight for the bed and got in; I concluded it must be Francoise, who would soon be joined by her master. However everything had become very quiet, and I could hear the occupant of the bed sobbing and sighing most pitifully. This was rather perplexing, and I could not tell what to make of it; but after a few moments' consideration I came to the conclusion that it was foolish to lose a chance of rendering the unknown one a service by consoling her grief-burdened spirit. I accordingly went up to the bed with all imaginable caution, and introduced myself as politely as I could; but not with sufficient address to prevent an exclamation of terror, which was instantly stifled for fear of its being heard by others. I could not suppose the person to be other than the old lady, and was somewhat surprised when I found she kept retreating as far as possible from me. I deemed that the best way of putting an end to all this nonsense would be to explain my meaning, which I did by thrusting my hand up between her thighs, and was astonished at finding them as firm and velvety as one could wish. My hand did not stay on the passage, but advanced to focus of pleasures, and there I found everything more like a young girl than an old hag of sixty. My hand did not lie idle, but stirred up the fire of excitement, so that my fair one soon ceased to sigh, and began to draw closer to me and I to her. At last I mounted and effected an entrance.
“Ah, my dear abbe,” said she, “how came you here? I fear my love will cost me dear!”
Though rather touched by this speech, our transports soon redoubled, and our sighs mingled together, as we pressed each other more closely. When the crisis was over, I recollected the words that I have given above, and was lost in conjectures as to what connection the old lady and the abbe could have. My conjectures were not of long duration, for I became eager to improve the time and snatch another morsel. When I put my hand on her
