thighs, I found them as charming to the touch as before, which sufficed to convince me that Nicole was my bedfellow, instead of the old housekeeper. I therefore determined to do my best.
“My dear Nicole,” said I, kissing her tenderly and counterfeiting the voice of the abbe as well as I could; “what are you thinking about? Can you give way to sorrow now a happy chance has favoured us with this unexpected opportunity of gratifying our mutual passion? Let us to business, and drown sorrow in the overflowings of our love!”
“I am glad to hear you talk so,” said she; “for your troubles made mine doubly heavy. Yes! let us profit by this sole means of comfort that remains to us. Let what will happen,” said she, taking my tool in her hand, “so long as I possess this treasure, I do not fear even death itself. Do not be uneasy at the thought of our being interrupted; I have locked the door, so that no one can come in without breaking it open.”
I was glad she had taken this precaution, and inspired by love I caressed her with increasing vehemence. My instrument under the tutelage of her fingers had assumed an extraordinary thickness, which quite enchanted my lady.
“Quick!” said I, “put it into your delicious receptacle, or I must…”
She appeared to be in no hurry, but continued to finger it, as if amazed at its size, which she fancied was produced by her caresses. I wanted to put it in myself, but she begged me to wait for it to become both bigger and longer, asking me if it was not larger than ever she had felt it before. From this I inferred that her abbe was not so well provided as myself; I could have laughed at her question, had I not been better occupied. “Oh, how delightful it will be,” said she, as she put things in train. “Push, my dear, push!” I did not need this advice; I gave way to my fury, and was soon lost in the ecstasy of love, which she appeared to share with me. However, our transports betrayed us; the bedstead was close to the partition, and we never imagined that Francoise was in the next room; this unluckily was the case, and our thoughtless eagerness made the bedposts rattle against the partition, which told her but too plainly what was going on in our chamber. The old jade ran to the door as quickly as she could, and finding it locked, she began calling out for Nicole at the top of her voice. We were greatly alarmed at this, and stopped short in our proceedings, but when the old woman became quiet, our prudence soon forsook us. Too much excited to remain long in such disagreeable inaction, we recommenced our work; it is true that we were as still as we could possibly manage, but our tormentor was evidently on the watch, and had no difficulty in explaining the stifled sounds that reached her ear. She began again to call out to Nicole, thumping the partition, and ordering her to give over that kind of amusement. This disturbed us, but not so much as you might suppose; for as I Saw we were discovered, I said to Nicole that we had no occasion to interrupt our pleasures, in which she silently acquiesced; and we accordingly went to work as hard as we could, taking no notice whatever of the incessant thundering kept up by Francoise against the wainscot. I do verily believe that the singular circumstances in which we were placed considerably heightened the pleasure that we mutually experienced. But it was now high tune for me to retire to my own bed-so after telling my fair partner to whom she was indebted for so vigorous a thumping, I left her, and retired to my apartment. When I had got into bed I could not sleep at first for thinking of the singular adventures of the night, and what would be the consequences of them in the morning. However my fatigue ultimately overcame me, and I slept till nearly noon. When I awoke, I was startled at seeing Annette at the bedfoot, apparently waiting for me to awake.
“Come, my lad,” said she; “you had better get up; Father Polycarp is going, and he means you to accompany him.”
On hearing this, I jumped out of bed, dressed myself in a few moments, and in an hour's time was riding on the crupper behind the reverend Father, on the way to his convent.
Beauregard de Farniente
The Adventures of Father Silas
PART THE SECOND
Beauregard de Farniente
The Adventures of Father Silas
CHAPTER FOUR
In describing the kind of life that we led at the convent, I shall have occasion to exhibit the holy occupants of those retreats in a light somewhat different from that in which they are usually viewed. This, however, is not my fault, I can only relate what I witnessed, and shall endeavor to do that as faithfully as possible.
Let me be allowed to offer a few reflections respecting our mode of life, that may serve to show to what a shameful extent corruption exists among the monarchal cloister by a variety of causes, the most general of which are laziness, profligacy, cowardice, and the utter loss of propriety and honor. It is a pity, that those simple hearted souls, who imagine that religion induces men to embrace a conventual life, cannot behold the real state of things. How deeply would they blush at the abominations practised by those whom they now so blindly reverence. Let me for a while draw back the curtain, and show up a few of my worthy companions in their proper colors.
I will begin with Father Carlos, a man who revelled in sensual pleasures and every kind of vice, until he left the world in disgust and flew to the convent, to expiate his misdeeds in a life of penitence-or to rid himself of the importunity of his creditors. It seems that the latter was the real cause of his entering the fraternity, for he is still addicted to his old tastes, and would, unaided, eat and drink the whole income of the monastery.
Then comes Father Matthew, in whom the girdle of threefold cord* has wrought but little change. He flatters himself that he is an orator of no inferior kind, and that in logic Thomas Aquinas was a fool to him; while it is clear to everybody else that he is merely a drunken, prating blockhead. Of Father Boniface I could say much, little to his credit, but I feel it necessary to shorten these preliminary observations and proceed with my history. Enough will transpire therein to satisfy my reader respecting the reverend Fathers generally without my losing time and labor in drawing their individual portraits.
From all that I had seen and could infer from what passed while I was with Ambrose, more especially the gallantries of Father Polycarp and Annette, my ideas of monarchal life were anything but gloomy. I thought the gown was the dress affording the easiest access to the temple of pleasure; and my imagination rioted in the agreeable chimeras it created. Under these feelings, I received the habit of the order with real joy, when it was offered me a few days after my arrival by the Prior, who seemed to have all a father's affection for me. * The three knots symbolized the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. (Editor's note.)
I had learned enough Latin of the rector (who, by the bye, was not overburdened with it) to pass through my novitiate with honor; and I was praised as a youth whose talents promised something beyond the common track. Alas! I have made but poor use of them, having, in my excessive zeal in the service of Venus, entirely neglected applying them to any purpose advantageous to myself or others.
I will not drag the reader through the uninteresting details of my studies and disgust while a novice, but will merely touch on an incident or two that happened before I was looked on as a regular and reverend Father. I had not been long in the convent before I discovered that though the monks might lead an agreeable life, it was quite another thing with the monkling. I repented having taken the vows, but that being irremediable, I looked forward to the priesthood as the “consummation devoutly to be wished.” Being supposed the son of a gardener, my progress in my studies beyond many of my fellows produced not a little ill-will; and I was so often reproached with my birth, that I began to feel quite ashamed of it. Annette took no notice at all of me now; nor was it likely she should, as she was always surrounded by my superiors. Susan I never heard a word of, nor of Madame Dinville, after my arrival at the convent.
My mind would often be occupied with thoughts of these two personages, and I had no relief for the excitement produced by these meditations but in the application of my hand; so to my hand I had recourse, and thus forgot my troubles for a moment.
I had one day retired to a lonely spot, and was indulging in this amusement, safe, as I thought, from every eye, when a monk, who was not of my friends, suddenly broke in upon my privacy. When I saw the malignant
