would have done…what he would have said…it could have ended really bad…'
His tears flooded his face as he let go…
'Mom…I thought you loved me…you promised me I could be your man…I thought that meant that you would be the only one with me like I would be with you…ever…'
Finally he hugged me close to him…his body shivering as he let his anger and dissappointement show…
'…mom…'
'…yes John…'
'At least, promise me you'll never do it with him again… ever…promise me that…'
'…I can't John…you know he will come for more…just like you…he's not different from you…'
'But I don't want him to…to put it inside you…again…I could never make love with you again…'
'I can't make that promise John…I can't…he won't listen to me…just like you didn't listen to me the first times…he will want more of it…and if I stop him, I don't know what he might do…'
'But mom! You're mine! Only mine!'
'Yes John…you're the only one in my hart…but when it comes to the other part…I will always be there for you…but at worst…'
'No! I don't want him to do it…it's disgusting…'
'What's disgusting John…please be reasonable…I'm only trying to protect us…what when he finds out about our child…don't you think he'll put 2 and 2 together… what do you think will happen then…It will never be like with you… but you have to understand that he might want me to do these sorts of things with him…but never forget…I love you more than ever…and I will allways be there for you…anytime…'
'No…never…I don't want to share you with anybody!'
'I'm sorry John…I don't know what we could do otherwise… it's the only way…'
I never expected the discussion to take such a turn…never did I think that my eldest son would slap me in the face and call me a 'fucking whore'… never ever…
Chapter IX
Since that dreadful day everything changed…maybe it was so that I was a whore…I don't know…since that day, John stopped coming to me…he was almost never home…always busy doing something else…he didn't even talk to me. I tried to, but he didn't answer more than yes or no, sometimes just a grunt…
Tim, well he was the new boss in the house. He did everything to help me out in the kitchen, even cleaning the house…just to get one thing…my body.
Even though it felt like he was more or less using me for pleasure, I knew that he loved me enormously…and I knew that what he was doing when he tried to help me out was to show his appreciation…his love…but it was difficult to accept it in the strange form he wanted it in.
I can't say I didn't really enjoy it…I was…even though I am ashamed of it. At first I didn't…everything was mechanical…only to make the act as quick as possible… giving him what he wanted, letting him use my hole for relief, feeling cheap and dirty afterwards, hating myself. But after a couple of days I found it more and more pleasing, and when he started experimenting with my body with his hands, I had my first orgasm. I was very ashamed of myself…but I figured it didn't really matter any longer if I held back. John didn't make any allusions to wanting me anymore. It all started the first night…
I was alone in bed, thinking of what would happen in the future with us, a shattered family. John didn't come this night, the first one since we had started making love. I knew he wouldn't…what I didn't expect was to hear Tim's voice at the door.
'Mom, are you awake?'
I hoped he would go away if I wouldn't answer him, but he didn't…
Soon I felt the so familiar movement in the bed when John used to come to me at night, only this time it was Tim.
I could feel his trembling little hand land on my breast heavily. For the first time in what seemed like ages I was wearing a negligee, but it didn't stop him. In a moment his hand crept under it, gently sqeezing my breast. Later I found out that Tim was as fixed to my breasts as John.
Everything I had thought of, telling him how wrong it would be to continue didn't have effect…it felt like he owned me and my soul, like he hypnotised me…I was lost…
It wasn't long till I could feel his hands pull up my neglige, then his hard pre-cum leaking penis vibrating in my crack with excitement. He was so feverish as I felt him seek my hole, his member bumping around between my legs and in the slit. Then he entered me.
Like with John the first times, he was very fast for reaching climax. It didn't take him more than a few strokes. Once again he emptied himself inside me, only this time it wasn't virginal juices any longer…even though it wasn't John's, it was from my own son. And once again like with John, he was ready to go again in minutes.
After that I sent him to his room. Reluctantly he left, I told him I needed to be alone. I didn't expect him to listen to me, but he did…maybe it was because he had gotten what he had come for.
I lay on my back in bed, legs and arms sprawled wide as he had left me when going to his room, the cream he had deposited oozing out of my cum-soaked and used vagina, running in the crack of my buttocks til it met the sweaty and sticky sheets.
I didn't feel like a whore. No, a whore would at least get some money for the time and usage of her body…I felt like a hole, something anybody could use whenever they wanted a fuck! I was disgusted by myself and my own body.
The weekend felt like it would never end. I was afraid John would turn to doing stupidities. All day long he was gone, sometimes coming home very late. I tried to ask him where he had been, but he just grunted 'what do you care about me'. I tried to show him how much I loved him, but he was as cold as ice towards me.
The days and nights I belonged to Tim. He never let me out of his sight, and he never kept feeling me up and actually making it with me several times a day.
As I already confessed, I got to enjoying it during the nextcoming 2 weeks. Well, maybe enjoying it would be the wrong word…I got to love it…to silently await the moment when Tim would get hard again to do me…I couldn't tell him, like I had told John when I needed it… which was after all, most of the time…so I quietly awaited his lovemaking sessions with me, playing the role of doing it reluctantly…which I couldn't play for a long time…
John had made a sexaholic out of me, an addict to sex…now, when he refused to even talking to me, I gave myself completly to Tim, not caring anymore what was wrong or right…it was the strive for pleasure that counted, nothing else.
Once again I started my training and teaching, showing my new lover the wonders of lovemaking. I did everything with him that I had done with John, tasting his juices, as well as letting him taste mine…and my was he eager and a quick learner, he became quit good too, at licking me…
But a part of me was always thinking of John…and the growing child inside me, which we had produced…
It wasn't til about 2 weeks later that John couldn't hold any longer. I don't know if he just needed some time thinking, most of the things had happened very fast, or if it was just his sex urge that got too strong…nowadays I don't care…
It was Friday evening, John had taken Blackie out for a ride when he got home from school…and as usual I was in bed with Tim as soon as he passed the door.
Tim had acted like a sex maniac. As soon as he had entered the house he had attacked my breasts, sucking them hard, squeezing the soft flesh mercyless. Then he lapped at my slit for over 10 minutes giving me 3 wonderful orgasms, him drinking my juices.
Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my bedroom, guiding my overheated body which was like drugged from the sudden session of ours.
Seconds later we were in bed, his little member wriggling inside my maternal vagina like a worm. And what a worm! He spewed his hot sticky liquids inside my womb with a serene expression on his face, while I was urging
