Christine had made his marriage worthwhile, she gave him a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to work late into the night. He would do anything to get his daughter back into his life, even if that meant he had to talk his wife into accepting the Murphys and all they stood for. He only hoped he didn't live to regret it.
Chapter Eighteen
Veronica loved it when the house was full of people, and tonight it was packed to the rafters. She had been baking for two days, and she stood happily watching all the food she had prepared being wolfed down by her sons and their friends. The music was loud and the chatter was louder, everyone was there, even that fucker Bantry, which showed just how much her son was esteemed. And why wouldn't he be? He was a man in the making. But for all that, he respected his mother and wasn't afraid to show it.
Young Christine looked gorgeous, and Veronica smiled sadly as she watched the girl being the belle of the ball. She wanted to tell her that she should enjoy it while she could. It wouldn't last. Life wasn't that good to females – once they produced children that was enough for the likes of her Phillip. She felt such a sorrow at the girl's inevitable demise. After all, Veronica had been Christine's age when she had married and, like this child, she had been happy about it. But a small part of her knew that Christine Booth would one day regret her alliance with her son, would live to rue the day she had snatched the chance of freedom, the chance to leave her mother's claustrophobic love behind her. But Veronica wouldn't say any of that, of course; this wasn't the time or the place. It was the girl's birthday party, and that was why they were all there in the first place.
She observed her son Phillip as he looked at his young lady, saw the desire that almost burned his eyes out, saw the way she affected him. It was unnatural, his need to be with her – it would result in his needing to control her. For the first time she admitted to herself that it wasn't healthy. Her son had always been far too determined for his own good, had always got what he wanted no matter what the price. Veronica had a feeling he would never change. She liked this little girl of his, but she was frightened for her because she sensed Christine wasn't strong enough to look after herself, especially now Phillip had set his cap at her. He was as controlling as Eileen, only the girl couldn't see any of that yet. All Christine saw was Phillip's handsome face and the novelty of her first sexual encounter. She was mixing up love and lust, and she wasn't the first girl to do that. She was enjoying her party and the freedom that being with Phillip now afforded her, but she didn't understand that this freedom was not real, that she only had it because he chose to give it to her, because it brought her closer to him and what he wanted. It would come at a price, a price she would eventually have to pay.
The doorbell went and Eileen Booth was welcomed into the house, followed by her husband. As she walked towards her daughter, all smiles and heavy perfume, an expensive present in her well-manicured hands, Veronica knew that the young girl's fate was well and truly sealed. Now that Eileen had accepted the situation, warning bells were sounding inside Veronica's head. She felt guilty though for the thoughts she was having about her son and his impact on this young girl's life. She watched the proceedings with a sick feeling inside her gut, but she knew it was far too late to do anything about it.
As her son slipped the diamond ring on Christine's finger and beamed happily at the people gathered around, she turned away abruptly and went out into the garden. Her lovely home was suddenly alien to her, she saw it for the pretence it really was, and she saw the truth of her own situation in stunning clarity. As she smoked a cigarette she wondered at what had come over her. Questioned her thoughts and the disloyalty of them.
'You all right, Mum?' Phillip's voice was quiet. She hadn't noticed him follow her out.
She forced a smile on to her face.' 'Course I am, I'm just hot, son, hot and tired.' She could hear the forced joviality in her voice, and it saddened her even further.
'I'll look after her, Mum, don't worry about it. I know we're young, but this feels right. I'll never hurt her. I couldn't.'
Veronica smiled gently. 'Oh, Phillip, you're a good lad, but as my mother used to say, don't make promises you can't keep.'
Chapter Nineteen
'How can I be pregnant? It can't be right.' Christine's voice was soft and the fear was already making her light-headed.
Phillip laughed gently beside her in the bed. 'It happens, Chris, especially when you start having sex.'
'But we used protection, Phil, you said we were safe.'
Phillip sighed. Secretly he was over the moon at her news. He would never tell her that he had often slipped the condom off during their more passionate encounters. That he had deliberately set out to get her pregnant. He knew that she was not in the right frame of mind to understand his reasoning. So instead he said soothingly, 'It happens, love, and if you think about it, I ain't running away from the news, am I? I ain't leaving you to your own devices like my poor sister Breda was left. I am going to stick by you, Christine. I want to marry you and give my child a name. It'll just be sooner than we anticipated, that's all.'
Christine didn't know how to answer him, she was still terrified out of her wits. If he left her now she would be destroyed. But he was reassuring her of his devotion, so why wasn't she happy?
Phillip could feel her indecision, had expected it. He knew she would be disturbed by a pregnancy; although this was the eighties, she was still a girl who wanted to do things properly. But he wanted her for himself and this would guarantee that happened sooner rather than later. Her mother would have the marriage arranged in nanoseconds, she would not want her baby having an illegitimate child. By marrying Christine he would become a hero overnight as far as that old bitch was concerned. Inside himself he knew that he had forced this decision on her, but he overlooked that by telling himself this would have happened at some point anyway. His feelings for Christine overrode everything else in his life. He had taken her virginity and he had sworn to keep her beside him no matter what. No other female could make a dent in his heart, he didn't want or need anyone other than her. She was his all.
He hugged her to him again, almost suffocating her with the strength of his arms, his embrace. He understood her fears. She was only sixteen; a baby was a serious event at any age, let alone for someone so young. 'Look, Chris, I know you wanted to go to college, or university, whatever. But you are having a lovely little baby. Our baby. Like the Bible says, when I was a child I thought like a child, when I became a man I put away childish things. I have to look after you and the baby now, don't I? It's not like we can do anything about it, is it? We're Catholics, we have to make this into something good. I'll marry you, and we'll be happy and so will our baby. We'll have a great life, the three of us, you wait and see. We'll buy a little house and we'll show the world that we are meant to be together. That we can give our kid a good life.'
She nodded then, unable to speak with the emotion inside herself. The enormity of what had happened to her was suddenly crushing down on her. The knowledge that her life as she knew it was finished overwhelmed her. All her so-called independence had just been wiped out as if it had never happened. She was too young to have a baby, too young and too frightened. She wanted to have a life first, have some real freedom. She had wanted them to have a few years together, go abroad, experience the world. Now she was just another girl who had got caught out, another teenage mum dependent on everyone around her again. It was so unfair. There was no abortion for her, and she wouldn't, couldn't do something like that even if it was possible. She would never be able to live with herself; after all, this child had a right to life. It was what she had been brought up to believe, and believe it she did. Phillip's attendance at Mass was all her mother had ever found in his favour. He was a good Catholic, everyone in his family was, even Breda in her own way.
But Christine was not happy about this child at all. She had wanted to marry Phillip more than anything in the world until now, until this second. Now she felt trapped.
Maybe the hormones were affecting her already. After all, she had given up everything and everyone in her life for just this moment, and now it was here she was plagued with doubt. Her terror was so real it was almost physical. She actually felt sick with apprehension, but that could be the result of her pregnancy. Women felt sick in the early stages, that was how they knew they had a child inside them. It was the morning sickness that had
