The Family

alerted her to her predicament in the first place.

Christine felt Phillip squeeze her once more until she was almost melded into his body. He always held her to him with a strength that until now had made her feel safe and secure, but suddenly his embrace felt claustrophobic; it reminded her that she was now his, wholly and for ever. The intensity of his feelings for her felt wrong somehow, felt unnatural. She had a deep sense of foreboding that his love for her would overpower everything she wanted. And guarantee she would never again be her own person.

As if he was aware of her sudden reluctance, Phillip tightened his hold on her and she felt again the sheer power of his physical strength. His arms felt like a steel band. He and this baby had ensured that any hopes or dreams its mother might have been harbouring were long gone from her. A child growing inside you soon made you wake up to just how one-sided childbirth really was. Phillip's life wouldn't change, not one iota. Whereas her life on the other hand, would change out of all recognition.

She would be a mother before she was even legally eligible to vote. She would be tied to a child before she had left her own childhood behind. She almost hated Phillip then, for his male- ness, for doing this to her even though she had been a more than willing participant. She hated her disloyalty towards him, but a baby, she knew, would ensure that she would never be able to walk away from him. Phillip Murphy would never allow that to happen.

But why was she thinking these things? Why would she even consider leaving him? What was wrong with her? She was crying, and she had not even realised it.

Phillip laughed gently in the darkness. The smell of him permeated the small room; the aroma of their bodies, of their joint sexual encounters was so strong Christine felt as if she would never get the stench from out of her nostrils. He seemed almost sinister to her now, and she knew at that moment that he had wanted this to happen, had made it happen. She had been too naive to see what he was doing.

Yet, this baby had been created with love. Their love, which was real, and surely that had to mean something? As Phillip's lips found hers in the darkness and his tongue probed her mouth with its usual determination, she felt herself responding to him as she always had since the first time they had slept together. Christine forced away the dreadful thoughts that were crowding her mind, forced away the fear that she was already into something she couldn't control. She reminded herself that he alone had made her life exciting, and he alone had made her feel alive for the first time ever. Once he was inside her, deep inside her, she didn't have any doubts about him, all she had was the knowledge that she couldn't live without him, without this – his touch, his tongue, his physical presence. She loved him, and he loved her, that was what mattered at the end of the day. It was the pregnancy that was making her doubt him, doubt herself. She knew she had to get her head around what the child would mean to them both. She might feel scared at having a baby, but she had to grow up and, as he said, put away her childish thoughts. She mentally shrugged; she was being silly. They were going to get married anyway, and it was natural for a girl to feel overwhelmed about something so huge, so life changing at such a young age.

As she succumbed to his embraces, Christine convinced herself that her fears were just the result of her hormones. If she was being honest with herself, she wasn't looking forward to her mother's reaction once she heard the happy news either.

She would go ballistic.

Chapter Twenty

'I told you this would happen, didn't I, you stupid little mare!'

Christine looked into her mother's eyes and saw the disappointment there, as well as the pleasure her mother got from being proved right. That was how it had always been, ever since she could remember.

'Sixteen and already in the club. Do you realise just how bloody stupid you are? Do you understand what this really means to you? You personally? Your life's over before it's even begun – his ain't. Men never have to take any responsibility, not really You're the one who'll be stuck at home with it. Not him, his life won't bloody well change. If you had any sense you'd get rid of it.' She put her hand to her mouth.

Eileen could cry with the shock, with the unfairness of it all. She had given this ungrateful bastard everything a girl could want, and for what? For her to be taken down by the first good- looking bloke who had given her more than a second glance. Eileen knew she had said something terrible, she was being unfair to her daughter, but she didn't care. This girl should have had it all. Now she had a belly full of arms and legs and the honour of becoming a Murphy. She wiped her hand across her face, as if the action could erase the knowledge of her daughter's spectacular fuck-up. And fuck-up it was, only this silly cow wouldn't realise that until it was too late.

Christine looked at her mother and marvelled at the woman's hypocrisy and her complete lack of loyalty, not just to her, but towards her future son-in-law. Phillip had made sure that her dad's shop was finally paying off. Her mother would be enjoying the benefits of his interference, of his putting money in their pockets. She had previously acted like she was, if not exactly pleased about their relationship, willing to accept it. Her duplicity was too much for Christine to bear. The fact that her words were a bit too close for comfort didn't help either.

'We're getting married, Mum, but I need your consent to do that. We love each other and we're going to make something of ourselves, whatever you might think to the contrary. Now, I have come round here to ask you to sign the papers. If you don't sign them, then my Phillip will be forced to come round here himself and, believe me, Mum, he won't be as amenable as I am, do you get my drift?'

Christine could see the fear that her words had caused, could feel her mother's discomfort and, despite herself, she found herself actually enjoying it. The two-faced old bitch was finally getting her comeuppance.

'Are you threatening me, Christine, your own mother?' Eileen's voice was low, almost inaudible, as she realised that her daughter now held all the cards, was the stronger of the two, and all through her liaison with Phillip Murphy.

'I'm not threatening you, Mum, I'm just stating a fact.'

'Well.' Eileen shrugged, resigned to her daughter's fate. 'You know what they say don't you, Christine? Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.'

Christine grinned then, and for the first time she felt superior to this woman. Placing the papers that would allow her to get married on the kitchen table, she said happily, 'I've got exactly what I asked for, Mum – I got away from you, didn't I?'

Eileen sighed. Seeing her husband's signature already there she swallowed back the urge to cry, and said brightly, 'Well, whatever you might think of me, Christine, I only ever wanted what was best for you. One day you will understand that. When that baby you're carrying comes into the world, you'll finally understand why I was like I was. You always want better for your kids, better than you had. It's called being a mother.'

She turned away from her daughter, and busied herself making a pot of tea. Christine watched her quietly, saw the drooping of her shoulders, heard the defeat in her voice, and wished with all her heart that things could have been different. Her mother was an avaricious, demanding and deeply unhappy woman; this, coupled with her snobbery and her unwavering belief that she was better than everyone around her, had guaranteed that she would always be incapable of ever experiencing any real happiness. Consequently, those within her orbit were also denied the chance of any real happiness as well. If Christine had any doubts left about marrying into the Murphys, this woman had just removed them. She would rather die than become like her mother. Her discontentment with her lot, and with her family, had eventually bled into every aspect of all their lives until none of them knew how to be happy. The Murphys had welcomed her with open arms and she saw that, no matter what, they were there for one another. They loved each other, and it showed.

Thinking of the life inside her, she put her hand on her still- flat belly, and for the first time since she had found out she was pregnant, she actually welcomed the child. She was young and healthy, she had a man who loved her, and a new family who had taken her into their lives and made her feel welcome and wanted.

Just ten minutes in the house she had grown up in had made her realise how lucky she was.