Anakin decided instantly that the tech console was not interesting enough to risk a confrontation. He walked away with a dignity that masked his irritation. The Colicoids were certainly touchy about their ship. In his experience, most beings were happy to indulge in tech-talk and were proud of their ships. The Colicoids didn't seem to bond with their transports, just looked at them as a way to get them from one place to another. Normally he would fill his time poking into the ship's nooks and crannies, but the Colicoid crew was constantly breathing down his neck.
He never knew a mission could be so boring. If only Krayn would attack!
Anakin stopped, appalled at the thought that had risen so buoyantly into his mind. Jedi did not wish for confrontation, but met it squarely when it came. They looked for peaceful outcomes. He should not long for a pirate invasion to spice up a dull trip. It was as wrong as wrong could be.
But to be fair, he didn't want Krayn to attack because he was bored.
The thought of the pirate was like a fever in his blood. He wanted — needed — to see Krayn face-to-face. He wanted to know if the vision he'd had in the cave was true.
He still felt guilty about lying to Obi-Wan. He could not tell Obi-Wan how memory had burst inside him, a burning memory full of details that were as fresh and painful as they'd been six years before.
Well, he hadn't exactly lied — he simply hadn't given a full answer.
Unfortunately, to the Jedi, that was the same as lying to a Master.
Sometimes the strict Jedi scruples could be extremely annoying.
He could not speak of Krayn. Not yet. If he spoke the memory aloud, it would choke him. He was afraid of the emptiness he felt whenever he remembered his mother. There were so many sleepless nights when he berated himself for the comfort of his sleep-couch at the Temple, for his plentiful meals, his excellent education, but mostly, for his happiness there. How could he continue to take even one more contented breath when his mother languished as a slave on a desolate planet?
In the beginning, when he'd first arrived at the Temple, he could call up her voice and smile so easily. He could repeat her soft words to him: The greatest gift you can give me, Annie, is to take your freedom.
But her voice was growing fainter, and her smile growing dim.
Sometimes he had to struggle to recall the living reality of her face, the texture of her skin. He had not seen her in four years. He had been so young when he left. His greatest fear was that one day she would leave him completely. That he would lose her like a dream. Then he would be hollow inside.
Obi-Wan Kenobi had been raised in the Temple since he was a baby. He could not truly know how a childhood could be one of terror and shame mixed with comfort and love. He only knew this through his intellect, not his experience. It is one thing to see the effects of a terrible childhood. It is another to live them every day. So when his beloved Master told him he must accept his anger and let it move through him, a small, mean voice in Anakin whispered that his Master did not know what he was talking about. He did not truly know anger.
How could he let such rage move through him? Obi-Wan could never understand how it beat inside him, threatening never to leave. It had the power to consume him. It frightened him, and Anakin did not want to accept fear, either. Did this mean he could never be a Jedi Knight?
When he thought of his fears, his thoughts circled in just this way, bringing a spark of panic deep in his belly. It was better to pretend the anger wasn't there. Wasn't being a Jedi all about control? He had to find his own way to control his feelings. That would be the best way.
Suddenly, Anakin felt a tremor in the ship. It caused him to stumble slightly. The tremor was followed by a blast that sent him flying into the corridor wall. Alarm signals began to sound.
Anakin took off through the maze of twisting corridors toward his quarters to find Obi-Wan. The ship was hit again by another blast, and began to practice defensive maneuvers. Anakin knew the ship was too large to outmaneuver most crafts.
He was halfway there when he saw Obi-Wan running toward him.
'We're under attack. It's Krayn,' Obi-Wan said tersely. 'Let's head for the bridge.'
Chapter 7
The two raced into the gloom of the bridge. The crew sat tensely at the controls while a few officers raced from one station to another.
Outside the view-port, they could see vapor trails of proton torpedoes and showers of explosives. The ship shook with every nearby blast. It was an ambush — Krayn must have known where they would appear.
Captain Anf Dec stood, his hands gripping the arms of his control chair. 'Where is the ship?' he screamed. 'Where is the ship?'
'It dived below us, Captain,' one of the crew members shouted.
'Full speed ahead! Full speed! No, left engines full!' Captain Anf Dec shouted, his voice on the edge of hysteria. 'Where is the ship now?'
The ship lurched to one side as the crew struggled to reconcile the captain's contradictory orders. This lurch was followed by another blast that sent everyone on the bridge staggering.
'Krayn is off to our port, sir,' one of the crew members said. 'We've taken a blow to the fuel driver.'
'What is he doing!' Captain Anf Dec shouted. 'Doesn't he know who we are?'
'Yes, Captain. We informed the ship that we were a Colicoid ship with a Jedi observation team aboard. As per your instructions,' the crew member added pointedly.
'Port-side deflector shield is down,' another crew member shouted.
'What?' the captain asked, scuttling over to stare at the readout.
