knew that nothing I had in it would help me against this monster. 'I don't understand why you have made a deal with Christian, however. He can't save you. You need a Beloved's sacrifice, not a Dark One's.'
I walked over to the nearest desk and started thumbing through the papers, just to annoy Eduardo. Christian's eyes followed me, but he would not answer me, would not touch my mind with his. I ached to merge with him, but knew it would do no good. He was clearly trying to protect me from Asmodeus the only way he knew how—by giving the demon lord himself instead.
Men can be so stubborn.
'It is as you say. However, the sacrifice must be a willing one; it cannot be forced. Thus'—he gestured toward Christian—'you must come to us. And you have, as I knew you would.'
I set down the papers and walked over to the demon lord, pulling my arm from my coat and holding it out for him. 'What, you want a little blood? Go ahead, dive in. I have plenty to spare.'
Asmodeus looked deeply into my eyes, and for a second I saw beyond the glamour and beheld his true self. I staggered backward, feeling as if someone had just kicked me in the chest.
We were in a
'A genuine offer, but alas, as you know well, I cannot partake of the blood of a Beloved who has not yet Joined.'
I tipped my head at Christian. 'I assume he wants us to take the last step. How do you feel about it?'
He stared at me without speaking, his eyes dead and cold. I smiled at him, then turned back to the demon lord. 'Christian doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea, and I'm getting the feeling that saving him isn't going to be worth my life, so you know what? I think I'm just going to be trotting along.'
'She lies,' Eduardo hissed, leaping to his feet as if he were going to tackle me to stop me from leaving. Which, I had to admit that, given the events of the past few days, he might very well do. 'She is his Beloved whether or not they have Joined. She will not leave him here; she cannot.'
'Watch me,' I said, shoving my arm back in my coat and picking up my bag.
The demon lord moved so fast, I didn't even see a blur. One moment he was standing next to the fireplace; the next he was in front of the door, his fingers on my chin as they tipped my head up so he could peer into my eyes.
'You intend to leave Christian here?'
There was nothing I could do to save him by myself. I knew that after taking a peek at what Asmodeus was made of. There was only one way to escape the demon lord's power, and that was to Join with Christian, and if I did that while the demon lord was around, he'd manipulate me into sacrificing myself to save Christian. Therefore, I couldn't save him now. I needed help. So I could honestly answer Asmodeus's question. 'Yes, I will leave him here.'
I knew he could see the truth in my eyes, could feel that I was not lying to him. I poured a bit more determination into my intention. His fingers tightened on my chin, his eyes burning into mine as if he were trying to sear his way into my brain.
'You will not offer yourself to save his life?'
Pain slashed through me, making my heart weep tears of blood for the other half of my being. It had to be done. There was no other way.
'No, I will not,' I said, my head pounding with each word of betrayal. It would do no good, my inner voice shrieked, trying to stop my soul from rending itself in two at my treacherous words. A sacrifice now would accomplish nothing; it would only end with us both dead and damned to an eternity apart. I couldn't risk that, not when there was the slightest ray of hope that we could pull off a miracle. 'I will not offer myself to save his life. I make no sacrifice.'
Asmodeus dropped his hand as if his fingers were burned. For a moment his eyes glowed with an ominous black light; then he turned wearily to Christian.
'She has refused you, child of the darkness. She has repudiated you. She will not redeem your soul, will do nothing to save you from the torment that she knows will commence the moment she leaves. What say you to this?'
Christian's eyes never left me. For one second, for a fraction of a second, I thought I saw hurt so deep it almost brought me to my knees, but it was gone instantly, the dull hopelessness all that showed in his eyes. I dared not speak to his mind, not with him under Asmodeus's power.
'It is her choice,' Christian said finally, his voice so beautiful that tears pricked in my eyes. I blinked them back. 'It has always been her choice.'
Love welled up within me, love for a man who had made the ultimate sacrifice in order to give me a chance to escape with my life intact. What a wonderful, loving,
'This can't be. She's his Beloved,' Eduardo argued to Asmodeus. 'She has to sacrifice herself; you said it was impossible for her not to. If she doesn't sacrifice herself, we don't get that.' Eduardo pointed rudely at Christian. 'We've already lost one vampire; I won't have us cheated out of another one. What good will the attraction be without any ghosts or vampires?'
'Attraction? What attraction?' I asked, edging past Christian toward the door. I sent him only one tiny glance, a little one while Asmodeus's attention was on Eduardo raving before him, but in that look I packed every bit of love I had.
He blinked.
'She is not Joined. She cannot be forced to Join with him, and she refuses to sacrifice herself. Unless she does either, she is useless to us.'
'She's lying—'
'Attraction? Like what, a haunted house or something? A spectral Disneyland? That's it, isn't it, you guys are capturing spirits and Dark Ones and who knows what else to turn them into a paranormal zoo?'
'She does not lie,' Asmodeus said to Eduardo, then turned in a dismissal as clear as any I've seen.
'But you can't know—'
I stepped back, ostensibly out of fear of Asmodeus, as he turned to address Eduardo, but really just so I could bump into Christian. I touched my fingers to his hand. Instantly Asmodeus's head snapped around to look at us.
I swallowed back a lump of pain as I looked into Christian's eyes. 'I'm sorry; it's just not working out like you said it would. You were right when you said I could exist without you. I'll see you around.' I tossed a glance toward Asmodeus. 'Maybe.'
Without waiting to see if he believed me or not, I walked out of the room. Eduardo sputtered a protest, but was quickly silenced. Evidently Asmodeus had a tight grip on him as well as Christian, because the ward made no protest when I pushed my way through it into the gray light of a rainy London morning.
'Right,' I said to myself as I waved down a black taxi, refusing to think of what Christian would go through before I could return with help. 'First things first…'
The taxi that pulled up maneuvered straight into a puddle next to the road, spraying me from the waist down with icy, muddy water.
'Sorry,' the driver said as he reached behind himself and opened the door. I looked from the water running in rivulets down my legs to the gray, sodden sky above.
'It's useless,' I told the sun as it tried in vain to pierce the dense cloud cover. 'Don't waste your time battling fate. I'm doomed to be wet and miserable until I get Christian back.'
'Welcome to England,' the cabby said. I sighed and got in the cab, ignoring the pain in my leg and the sense of fatigue that threatened to pound me into a fetal ball of misery.
'Where you off to, then?' the cabby asked conversationally.
I gave him Christian's address, then couldn't help but ask, 'I don't suppose you know how to defeat a demon lord?'
He pursed his lips in a soundless whistle as I met his glance in the rearview mirror. 'Can't say as I do.'
I nodded and squelched my way back in the seat, wondering vaguely how the water had managed to soak the back of me as well as the front. 'It's no matter. I think I know someone who does. I just hope she can fit me in
