Sex and the Single Vampire

between destroying the demon and interviewing werewolves.'

The ride to Christian's house was accomplished in record time.

Chapter Eighteen

'Do you know that there is a Dark One upstairs lying on a really big bed?' Noelle asked as she came down Christian's front stairs. I peeled off my wet coat and sniffed. Only the faintest smell of smoke—both demon and wood—lingered.

I almost smiled, so happy was I to see Noelle. She was such a nice, normal woman in a world that seemed oddly shy of normalcy. 'Yes, his name is Sebastian. I hope you didn't wake him; he's been very ill.'

'I didn't go into the room, just peeked in when I was checking for imps.'

Well, she was almost normal.

'Good.' I set down my bag, well away from the lake of water that was forming at my feet. 'I take it we're imp-free?'

She nodded, her fingers tracing the carving on the side of the banister. 'Yes, but there's a very confused mouse in the pantry. It was sharing its home with an imp.'

'Ah. Well, as I don't know the name of any good mice therapists, I guess it'll just have to work things out on its own. Would you mind coming into the study for a couple of minutes? I have a little proposition I'd like to make.'

'Sexual or professional?'

I stopped midway up the stairs. 'Do I look like I'm about to make a sexual advance?'

She let her gaze wander from my sodden feet, up to my jeans, with mud and water splashed up to my waist, up farther to my damp sweater that had been pulled out of shape when I stuffed the doll under it, finally coming to my face. I had a feeling the long hours with no sleep, not to mention the battle to save Sebastian, and the wear and tear on my nerves at seeing Christian willingly submit to Asmodeus had left my eyes a bit bloodshot. My eyes are not attractive at their best, but bloodshot and tired…

Noelle shuddered delicately.

'That bad, eh?'

She gave me a small smile. 'I'm sure you've seen better days.'

I turned and trudged damply up the stairs, ignoring the pain in my leg just as I always did, suddenly feeling the weight of the world bearing down on me. Life seemed so intolerable without Christian. I knew just how impossible it was going to be for me to live without him. Either we managed a life together, or…

'I'm not going down without taking a few of them with me,' I said in a growl as I pushed open the door to Christian's study. Esme bustled toward me, Honoria leaping up and following quickly behind.

'Oh, Allie, I'm so relieved to see you! Poor Honoria was beside herself with worry—well, we both were, naturally, but I see you've brought a friend with you. Hello, I'm Esme Cartwright. You must be that nice Guardian who's taken care of the demon and imps. Allie, why are you so damp?'

'I didn't know we had imps,' I protested as I collapsed with a wet noise into Christian's chair. 'Esme, Honoria, this is Noelle. She is indeed the Guardian Christian called. I take it you finished with Sarra?'

Noelle nodded and took the seat opposite the desk, smiling at Honoria. 'That's a very pretty doll. Does it have a name?'

Honoria scooted behind Esme until just the tips of her soft brown curls peeked out from behind Esme's bathrobe. 'Bettina.'

'That's a nice name as well. Is Allie going to Release you and Bettina?'

I sighed and slumped over the desk until my forehead was resting on my arms. Water rolled off my hair and puddled around my wrists.

'She couldn't do it,' the little ghost had the nerve to snap. She came around from behind Esme and pointed at me, stomping a petulant booted foot. 'She said she would, but she didn't, because she's too stupid to know how to do it properly.'

'Now, Honoria, a lady never speaks to an elder that way.'

I glared at Esme over the top of my arms. She hurriedly added, 'Especially one who has tried so hard to help you, as Allie has.'

'I don't care, I think she's stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Her little-girl voice rose up into a screech that seemed to pierce the tender flesh of my brain. I narrowed my eyes at her.

'A return to Guarda and her little games can be arranged, you know.'

Honoria threw herself against Esme and bawled.

Wearily I pushed my wet hair off my face. 'I suppose you should meet the whole gang. Antonio, Jem, Alis, Mr. Woogums, I Summon you.'

All four popped into the room.

'Mi corazón! You 'ave Summoned me to your side again! My 'eart, it beats only for…'Ello. What so charming red curls you 'ave, my lady.' Antonio made a deep court bow.

'Omh! Ah aghn ahnnh ahah ahah ahah arnuah!'

Jem was wearing a blue-and-red skintight spandex outfit, blue boots with gold flames licking up the sides, and a blue black and-red mask fitting tightly over his head.

I grimaced. 'Don't tell me, you've been watching one of those wrestling shows?'

'Aaaangh.'

'Tongue still missing?' I asked Antonio.

He quickly dragged his eyes from Noelle and blew me a kiss. 'Alas, I fear it is so, my little water sprite. We 'ave looked 'igh and low for it, but the tongue, it is 'iding. We cannot find it. And who might this beauteous lady be?'

'Are you Mr. Woogums?' Noelle asked him.

He looked appalled. Quickly I made the necessary introductions. Noelle turned her bright, interested eyes from Antonio's leer to Esme comforting Honoria.

'I used to look like you,' I told her, suddenly feeling a bit tetchy and peevish. 'I used to be professional- looking, and on top of everything and with it and all that. Nothing rattled me. Well, not much. I had a plan, a life plan. I knew where I was going, and how I was going to get there. Now look what I've turned into.' I sat back and the leather protested with a rude, wet sucking noise. 'I fell in love. This is what happens when you fall in love. You end up wet, with a houseful of ghosts, and a man who thinks he's responsible for everyone's happiness but his own. Taking it all into consideration, I highly advise you against falling in love with anyone, mortal or not.'

She grinned at me. I sighed. She was too cute; some guy was bound to snatch her up and make her wet and miserable, too. 'Esme, would you show Alis to the ceramic room? Her screaming is making my head pound. Then perhaps you all could watch some TV quietly. I need to talk to Noelle about rescuing Christian.'

'Rescue? Why would you wish to rescue that dead one? I for one am enjoying 'is absence.'

I batted Antonio away from where he'd perched on the edge of the desk.

'Ooh, a rescue! Mr. Woogums and I dearly love a good rescue. What can we do to help?'

'Nothing,' I said, too tired even to collapse and fall into a stupor. 'There's nothing you can do. You're just ghosts.'

'We may be ghosts, but we are extremely 'andsome and dashing ghosts,' Antonio said as he strutted through the middle of the desk, twanging his codpiece suggestively at Noelle.

'That's right, I'm sure we can do something to help dear Christian.' Esme nodded.

'Ahng wahaaaaaan,' Jem added.

'I've never rescued a Dark One before,' Noelle said slowly, a little frown appearing between her eyebrows. She even frowned cute. 'I'm not absolutely certain that it's in my job description.'

I stared at her.

'That was a joke.'

'Oh. Ha, ha, ha.'

'And I hate to contradict you, but if you're serious about rescuing this boyfriend of yours, your friends here