Sex and the Single Vampire

might be very helpful indeed.'

'There, you see? Even the nice Guardian says we could be of help!' Esme crowed. 'I'm sure I'd have no problem overcoming a fiend or two, and Mr. Woogums would be happy to bite someone if only I can teach him how to focus his energy properly.'

'I shall bring my rapier. I am most dashing with my rapier,' Antonio told Noelle. He demonstrated with a few moves that would have left her without the ability to bear children had the rapier been made up of anything other than air and psychic energy.

Jem adopted a crouched wrestling pose and cracked his knuckles. 'Eee oong anh.'

'We shall all be able to help,' Esme said with great satisfaction as she drifted toward the door. 'I'll just fetch Alis back. I'm sure she'll be delighted to pretend the bad people are made of ceramic and yell at them.'

I pounded my forehead gently on the desk.

'You know, they have a point. You might not think they can be of help, but just their appearance can give you a few seconds of diversion.'

I stopped pounding long enough to look at Noelle. 'I haven't told you what I'm up against. It's not just a few Summoners and the odd triumvirate or two. I have to get Christian away from Asmodeus, the demon lord, the demon master who I am fairly certain turned Christian's father and thus has some sort of connection to Christian.'

Noelle frowned. 'Oh. I'd forgotten you'd mentioned Asmodeus. That is a bit of a sticky wicket.'

'How sticky a wicket is it?' I asked as Esme ushered Alis into the room, shushing her and whispering in her ear.

'Well…'

I sighed. I didn't have time or the energy to cope with much more. 'Let me put it to you this way—do you know if it's possible to defeat a demon lord?'

She nodded. 'You can defeat anything, if you go about it properly.'

Well, that was hopeful. Kind of.

'Okay, next question: Do you know how to defeat a demon lord?'

She shook her head.

'Do you know someone who does?'

She shook her head again.

I started to get a bit desperate. I knew that because I had the overwhelming urge to giggle. I must have been more tired than I thought, because a couple of giggles slipped out as I asked, 'Have you ever heard of anyone defeating a demon lord?'

She smiled as my giggling grew stronger. 'No, I haven't.'

I gave it up and just sat back in the chair and howled, wiping tears from my already damp face as I laughed the laugh of the mentally and physically exhausted. Esme hovered with a worried look on her face, Honoria snickered, Jem demonstrated his prowess by wrestling a chair to the ground, Alis (restrained by Esme's warning) honed her ancient-crone glare until it could split stone, and Antonio seated himself on the arm of Noelle's chair and proceeded to ask very personal questions about her preferences in men. By the time he got to whether or not her sexual partners had to be technically alive, I had managed to gather the few wits remaining to me and arranged them in a formation where I could think again.

Esme had detached herself from Honoria long enough to pat me on my right shoulder. 'Overtired, poor child.'

My arm went numb.

'Perhaps you'd better tell me everything from the beginning,' Noelle said, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees despite the fact that Antonio was not very subtly peering down her blouse.

I thought about the strength I'd need to tell her everything, decided on an abbreviated version, and quickly hit the high points of the last few days, intimacies with Christian excluded.

She chewed on a fingernail. 'Hmm. Very sticky. This triumvirate you mentioned is clearly being fed by Asmodeus. That might work to your benefit.'

I rubbed my aching forehead and tried to follow her thoughts. 'You mean that feeding them would weaken him? I can see that, but what good is a weakened Asmodeus going to do me when I have the triumvirate breathing down my neck? I barely managed to get Sebastian out without bringing the house down around our ears, and that, I'm positive, is only because Christian was distracting Asmodeus enough that he couldn't throw his power into the triumvirate.'

She sat back, apologizing as her arm slid through Antonio's thigh. 'Asmodeus is by far the more powerful of the two entities.'

I nodded. 'Right. So it makes sense to take him out first. I understand that, but the triumvirate—'

'Is made up of humans.'

That stopped me cold. I looked at it, prodded it, and decided it was good. Then I realized what her meaning really was, and the little bit of common sense that had remained with me tossed up its hands in despair, packed an overnight case, and headed off on a long, long vacation. 'You mean I call up a demon to take care of the triumvirate?'

She nodded.

'Oh, my!' Esme's eyes were round with worry. She scooped up Mr. Woogums and hugged him and Honoria against her ample breast. 'Are you sure that's wise?'

'Pish.' Antonio snorted, patting his chest. We all turned to look at him. I had never actually heard anyone say the word pish before. It was a bit frightening. 'I will protect mi corazón from any demon. I am 'er courtier most brave.'

'It's perfectly safe as long as you keep the demon under your control,' Noelle said slowly, considering me with a critical eye that didn't seem to like what it saw. 'I think, upon reflection, that it would be a good idea if I were to accompany you on this venture. I should hate to think what would happen if a demon you raised were to run amok through London.'

'Earthquakes, mass 'ysteria,' Antonio said.

I glared at him.

'Rain of locusts, the sky set afire, the oceans turned to blood,' Esme added.

'Yes, thank you, I think we get the picture,' I said. 'What exactly would the demon—'

'Ehn wahnah ahgha mwaaaah,' Jem said with a sorrowful shake of his head.

'Oh, yes, definitely a plague or two,' Esme nodded. 'And you're absolutely right about the rats.'

I glared at them all, then turned my gaze back to Noelle. 'What exactly would the demon do?'

She told me.

They had to carry me to bed after that. The exhaustion and Noelle's suggestions were just too much for my poor little brain. Fortunately, between the two of them, she and Antonio were able to get me into Christian's bedroom and onto the bed beside Sebastian without either of the Turners noticing, or Sebastian waking up.

I dreamed of Christian encased in a block of ice, standing in the corner of the bedroom, just watching me as I lay sleeping. The ice turned to glass, and I knew that if I reached out for him, if I tried to touch him, the glass would shatter and pierce his heart. I rose from the bed and stood before him, my arms empty, my heart torn apart by the need I had for him and the knowledge that in order to free him from the glass I'd have to give up everything I had fought for. I wept tears of blood and watched him until his image faded away into the dull gray of the day.

Joy and Roxy woke me up three hours later. I was disoriented at finding them in Christian's room, even more so when I realized the person lying in bed, tucked in under the covers, was Sebastian, not Christian.

'I'm sorry to wake you, Allie, but Noelle said not to let you sleep any later than noon.'

'You met Noelle?' I pushed myself into a sitting position and looked down at Sebastian. His face didn't look nearly as wan and gaunt as it had earlier.

Roxy waved toward a metal apparatus standing next to him. 'Noelle arranged this. It's an IV; isn't that clever of her? She even got the blood from one of the blood banks.'

'We met her when we stopped by to see how you were after last night. She's taking a shower.'

'Oh.' I rubbed my eyes, the feel of the dream's blood tears still heavy upon my cheeks.

'You look a bit muzzy yet. Come on; we'll get you into the shower, then let you have some of the soup Mrs. Turner made. What a very odd woman she is,' Joy prattled as she bustled me out of bed, out of my clothes, and