stops, if the migrants don't have work permits and don't want to contribute to our pleasure fund, they're invited into the truck and whisked off to immigration in Ranong. We have to keep up our quota. We'd look suspicious if we didn't have any illegals at all, wouldn't we now?'
'How many?'
'Six to a dozen a week.'
'So what would you say if I could prove these vanishing Burmese had work permits and sponsors?'
'I'd say, 'Bring me the witnesses.' And you'd say, 'Ooh, they aren't comfortable speaking to the police.' And I'd say, 'Mm, I'm not surprised, considering they're all figments of your imagination.' '
'Don't you be so sure.'
'Oh I'm sure. If they were Thais, they'd have no idea whether the Burmese we picked up were illegal or not. So that leaves only the Burmese themselves. And the only way one of them would step up and accuse the Royal Thai Police of kidnapping a fellow countryman is if he was certifiably insane. In which case his statement would be inadmissible. Ta-daa! I rest my case.'
'All right, so-and this is hypothetical-if I could prove a legal Burmese was kidnapped by the police and sent to the deep-sea vessels, would you file the report?'
'Let me see now. You're asking whether a smart, virile young police officer, a-k-a me, who carries a burden of sexuality that makes his tenure in the police force tenuous if not feeble, would pursue a criminal case against his friends and colleagues in order to bring justice to the citizens of a country none of us particularly likes?'
'Yes.'
'Having thus outlined the negative aspects of such foolishness, all that remains is to inquire as to what, if any, the positives might be.'
I told him about the pride that could be felt by adhering to moral and professional standards, and when that didn't work, I told him he'd get Egg out of his office and his ferns back.
'With no career, I wouldn't have much need for an office, would I now?' he reminded me. 'And do you have this hypothetical witness?'
'Not yet.'
'Then I don't have to hypothetically commit my career to the garbage pail, do I now? Get back to me when reality steps boldly from the shadows.'
'You don't think I can do this, do you?'
'I don't think you should.'
'Why not?'
'Just a hunch. But if we're talking about slavery and murder and decapitation, I doubt this is a sideline of the local embroidery society. Your foes have already tossed a grenade into your midst.'
'Do you want to make my life safer?'
'How could I do that?'
'I'm planning to break into Lieutenant Egg's files. I'd bet he has a metal filing cabinet right there beside his desk.'
'With a lock.'
'OK. So I sneak in there and find all his files relevant to missing Burmese. And I steal them.'
'And what would I have to do to make your life safer?'
'Break into it yourself.'
He squealed a little and the customers looked around. 'There is no way,' he said. 'He's a beast. He'd beat me to death.'
'Chom. You're supposed to be in that office. He'd never know. Any policeman worth his stuff could open one of those files with a bobby pin.'
'Heavens. I haven't worn a bobby pin since the good old days.'
'I'll lend you one of Mair's. You can find a time when he's out of the office. Take the files down to the copy room. And replace the originals before he gets back. Nobody would need to know you were involved.'
'He never announces where he's going or for how long. He could walk in any minute.'
'Then I'll distract him.'
'Just how would you go about that?'
'Sissi?'
'This is she.'
'Are you still in the country?'
'Yes. But I'm considering applying for political asylum in Korea.'
'Why? What's happened?'
'Do you remember telling me there wouldn't be any middle-aged ladies with expensive perms marching out to the airport to throw themselves down in front of my jumbo?'
'Yes.'
'Well, I wouldn't recommend fortune-telling as your next career move.'
'No way.'
'I'm at Suvarnabhumi. They're everywhere: retired pilots, middle-aged women in bulging sweatpants, tropical-fish-shop owners. It would appear your yellow-shirted yuppies are in the process of laying claim to our national airport. Bangkok's middle classes are on the rampage. A fearsome mob. There's a backgammon game going on as I speak.'
'Are they stopping any flights?'
'Not yet. Seoul is still up there on the departure board. But my faith is dwindling. I'm having a karma attack.'
'They wouldn't. I mean, they aren't going to. Don't worry. How did they get in?'
'Same way they got into Government House. They whispered sweet nothings into the ears of the heavily armed police on the barricade. Told them who was funding the invasion, I wouldn't wonder. Reminded them of the oaths they swore at school and strolled right on through the lines. Your average policeman is overcome with guilt when aiming his gun at a terrorist who looks and sounds exactly like his primary-school teacher-and probably was.'
'How long before your flight?'
'Somewhere between forty minutes and infinity.'
'Do you want something to take your mind off it all?'
'Anything.'
'Can you get online?'
'Of course. I'm traveling first class. They'd fly in Bill Gates if I asked.'
'You obviously haven't flown first class for a while. But do you think you'll have time to do me one quick favor?'
'Probably more than enough.'
'Do you think you could access Bpook's class lists for the duration of her course at Georgetown?'
'That's all?'
'Yes.'
'I could probably do that on my iPhone with my eyes closed.'
'Big head.'
'How do you think that would help?'
'I don't know. I'm wondering if there was some relationship issue. What if she had a boyfriend studying with her, someone who was taking advantage of her?'
'Isn't that the role of boyfriends anyway? I doubt there'd be a cross-reference of relationships in the public domain.'
'No, but we can see what names come up often in her classes. She said she was a rental, dented and dumped and used.'
'You want me to check call-girl agencies around D.C.?'
'You don't think…?'
'She wouldn't have been the first.'
'Well, OK. But I doubt she'd have used her real name.'
