'I'll never forget this.'
'I really can't tell you how much of a pleasure it is.'
'We'll have reinforcements out there soon. Don't do anything stupid.'
'Aye aye.'
They really said 'aye aye'?
When I went to join Mair in the shop, Captain Waew was just pulling out, with the Noys lying down in the bed of the truck. The co-op ladies were up front. Elain was on a rope on the flatbed. Mair was alone, waving to the monkey.
'Where are all the other ladies?' I asked.
'I sent them home,' she said. 'I sense danger. Your policeman said he'd call you later. I phoned Arny and told him to come home.'
'Arny? Great! Who else would you phone in times of danger?'
'Don't make fun of your brother. He'll be there for you when you need him.'
'And where's Grandad?'
'Last time I saw him he was rearranging the flotsam on the beach.'
'Why…?'
An engine was gunned; I imagined wheels spinning. We ran down and looked along the beach. The tide was low but still only six meters from the cabins. Grandad Jah had laid out a long bridge of bamboo down the sand to the water's edge. It seemed rather pointless, considering the incoming tide would wash it all away before…
A roaring Honda City leaped from the carport, gained traction from the bamboo, and sped off over the bridge and into the water. I saw the grinning flash of Grandad's face as it vanished behind the splash. It had traveled fifteen meters at speed before the wheels began to spin in the sand and the Honda came to a standstill. Only the roof was visible above the waves. I raced into the surf, dismissing my water phobia as trivial compared to the love of my grandfather. But as the water began to crash against my waist, the fear waxed and the love waned. By the time I reached the Honda and the current was forcing me back it, occurred to me that I'd never really been that fond of him. Even so, some insanity saw me pinching my nose with my fingers and ducking my head beneath the surface. I opened my eyes and a stinging wash of salt filled them with pain. Everything was blurry. I pushed my head in through the open window. The cab was empty.
I burst, spluttering, into the atmosphere and looked around me for the floating corpse of my beloved relative. He was standing beside Mair on the beach, the bastard. I was furious. I wanted to stomp back to him, but the water was buffeting me around like laundry. By the time I washed up on the beach, I was out of breath and out of ire.
'What,' I huffed, 'was that all about?'
He came over to my supine body and crouched down in one of those impossible country squats.
'I've had an idea,' he said.
'Please share it.'
'Well, in an hour or so the tide will be fully up and the car will be invisible from the beach. We have the phone number of the Special Branch fellow. So, we give him a call and tell him the car's gone. We hint that the Noys came back and drove it off. And they'll spend the rest of the day, perhaps even the rest of the week, scouring the country for this car. We'll be out of the loop.'
'And what happens if they come back at low tide when the car's visible?'
'We can drape it with weed and make it look like something being washed up.'
'And what about you-an ex-mechanic-telling them the pistons are seized up?'
'A miracle. The floodwater from the river rinsed out all the salt and the thing started working.'
It didn't sound at all plausible, but Grandad Jah had that senile look so they'd probably put it down to dementia. And it was good to get one emergency off the front burner for a while.
'OK,' I said. 'Crazy but acceptable.'
While I was telling them about the Burmese in Sawee, Arny and Gaew pulled up on her Harley, so I had to start all over again. When Ex-Police Captain Waew returned from concealing the Noys, I had to tell him too. After three times of telling it didn't sound any more hopeful.
'So what are we supposed to do?' asked Grandad.
'I have a plan,' I said, and told him about Captain Kow and the small-boat squid men.
'That good-for-nothing wastrel couldn't organize fluff in a belly button,' said Grandad. 'I'm not putting my life in his hands.'
'All right, stop it. Stop it now,' said Mair. 'I've just about had enough of you insulting Kow. Either you button your lip or I'll punch it.'
She looked furious, and I'd never seen my grandfather back down to her like he did at that moment, but I could sense some friction between father and daughter. There was too much going on around us to follow up on it, but I put a mental yellow Post-it sticker against that moment.
Gaew it was who brought us all back to practicalities.
'We need a boat,' she said.
'That's right,' said Mair, still glaring at Grandad. 'We do.'
A boat. Right. It was the one aspect of this mission that I'd tried to drown in my subconscious. As the leader, I could hardly send them all out into the deep ocean and wave my handkerchief from the quay. But I was petrified by the very thought of having nothing but a wooden plank between me and Davy Jones.
'We've got to get out there as soon as we can and help those poor people,' said Arny, pushing his big chest ahead of him.
Actually, Arny was every bit as scared of the water as me. We'd both had life-threatening experiences in water that I won't go into now. But Arny had an image to project here, and if it involved wrestling sharks, I felt there was no turning back for him.
'Now, who do we know with a boat?' said Mair.
Actually, we lived in a fishing village. Everyone we knew owned or had access to a boat. What she was really asking was who would be dumb enough to lend us one so we could go and get it riddled with machine-gun bullets.
'Ed,' said Arny.
'No,' said I.
'Why not?' asked Grandad. 'He's got a fine new boat. Just finished it a week ago.'
'Look, just not Ed, all right?' I said. 'Then give us an alternative,' said Grandad. The effects of the antidepressant had abated some. I still felt a tickle when I thought of the male musculature, but I was no longer in heat. I was left with only the shame of the erotic thoughts that had forced me onto our grass cutter. I understood all those addicts who woke up in the bodies of complete strangers and lived those strangers' lives badly. If we didn't all die at the hands of slavers or government agents, I vowed I would volunteer at the local drug clinic. I acknowledged my addiction. I am Jimm and I'm a recovering sex addict.
Mair was talking on Amy's cell phone. When she finished, I asked, 'Who was that?'
'Ed,' she said.
'Mair, we're a team,' I said. 'Teams consult. Teams don't ignore the opinion of their daughters. What did he say?'
'He's on his way.'
'Chom, thanks for this afternoon. Can you speak?'
'Do you mean, have I learned the fundamentals, or am I in a position to discuss the illiterate ape I share my office with?'
'OK. Question answered. Where are you?'
'I'm sitting in a children's playground with a cigarette.'
'You don't smoke.'
'I didn't say I was smoking it. I'm just holding it near my lips so that from the police station opposite it looks like I'm smoking, and therefore I have an excuse to be out of my office.'
'You're hiding.'
'I've reached my limit. I'm imagining all the things I'd do to him if I were four times the man I am.'
'You want revenge?'
