Back on her home turf, Calypsa twirled for joy. 'Let us go and see my parents! I know they have been worried. Oh, they will be thrilled at our adventures! I want them to meet all of you, and see Ersatz, and Buirnie, and Asti...'
'Barrik's men will be watching to see if you come back,' I said. 'It's what I would do, and he's proven to be pretty savvy so far. We're not just going to hand the treasures over to him first thing.'
Calypsa's face fell. 'But they will be worried.'
Kelsa's Walt-face disappeared and was replaced by a couple of the locals, a male with dark plumage and a female who was a slightly older version of Calypsa.
'Yes, they are, dear. They're worried about you and your grandfather. And your younger brother. Did you know he had a still in the caves down by the river?'
I waved my hand for the Crystal Ball's attention.
'Can you see inside Barrik's castle?'
The two faces disappeared in a cloud and were replaced by lines of static, then a test pattern.
'He is blocking me, she said. My goodness, that's a strong interference spell! It is even stronger here than I thought it would be.'
'So, you're saying we have to go in blind?' Tananda asked. 'I've tried that already, and I have to tell you, it's impossible.'
'Well, no,' Kelsa said. 'Look, here!' We gazed into her depths at the image of the castle walls. Down at the base, three figures were slipping around the silhouette of a tower.
'So that proves that we
'You don't need to,' Payge said. 'I have a floor plan.'
Surrounded by an illusion of a hazel copse overlooking the black castle, we watched guards go in and out for a few hours and studied the illuminated elevation on page 846 of Payge's section on Famous Buildings of Evil Overlords and Wizards. We propped up the Golden Hoard so they could look it over with us.
'A fairly traditional layout, with defensive positions well designed.' Ersatz said.
I turned over to Figure 3b, which showed a lot of colored arrows lying over the castle.
Tananda whistled. 'No wonder Barrik can have magikal protection like he has. There are four major lines of force intersecting above and below the castle, not to mention about six smaller ones. It's a major nexus point.'
So, friend Aahz, what is our plan?' Ersatz asked.
'Plan?' I asked blandly, turning to meet him eye to eye. 'There's no plan. Calypsa here asked us to help assemble the Golden Hoard to trade for her grandfather with this wizard Barrik. That's what we're going to do.'
'What?' he asked, outraged. 'I have heard you say so over these many days, but I still cannot believe that is your sole plan. Having assembled us all, you have no intent on making use of our talents?'
'Why not?' I asked coolly. 'You all decided you could ignore mine, and for what I think is the most petty of reasons. As far as I am concerned, you're just a bunch of hot trade goods.'
'You are justified in your anger, friend Aahz,' Ersatz said, after a moment's reflection. 'It is hubris as that which we have shown that caused the fall of Valhal. We will not follow in its wake. We were created to serve mortals in their aims. It would appear that we are acting in our own interests,
whether for ego's sake or not. That is inexcusable. You have proven your merit again and again. It was wrong of Asti to complain of your wish to be reimbursed, since it was I who persuaded you to incur the debt. Otherwise I might not yet have regained my freedom, and found such a worthy apprentice to teach.' His eyes swiveled to Calypsa, whose eyes were fixed on him in adoration.
'You're right, Ersatz,' I said, with a grin. 'He has no way to expect your talents. What's your best guess on penetrating the castle?'
The eyes narrowed slightly, but with humor showing. 'Why, Calypsa will be expected, but you must be admitted. And if all goes ill you will require a diversion to get out, as well.'
'We have one.' I turned to Kelsa. 'Buirnie said you're no better than a snow globe for predicting the future.'
'What?' Kelsa said. She turned to the Fife, whose mouth gaped open. 'You said that! I can see it now! How dare you!'
'I told you that in confidence,' he protested to me.
'He's not that original a songwriter, you know,' Payge said. 'I can show you at least a dozen references where Buirnie played music that he claimed he wrote himself, but they date back hundreds of years before. Turn to page 1,047, if you don't believe me.'
'You comic book!' Buirnie exploded, loosing a whistle that pierced both of my ears to the center of my skull. 'How dare you claim to be the greatest historical archive of all time! Ersatz said you missed out completely on a dozen of his battles. He says you ignored them out of jealousy!'
'That is not true,' Ersatz protested. 'I said he might have downplayed my role in the wars out of deference to the mortals involved. But I should have been mentioned where I took a part!'
'Your ego is not the point of my documents,' Payge said. 'It is for the ages.'
Tananda grabbed my arm. 'It's starting again.'
The ground started to shake underneath our feet.
'Make them stop, Aahz!' Calypsa begged me.
'No,' I said, with satisfaction. 'This is just what we want.'
'Hah!' Asti exclaimed. 'You provoked that on purpose!'
'Sure did,' I said with satisfaction. 'You all go up like balloons right on cue. Works pretty well, I think.'
Ersatz's dark blue eyes were summing. 'Friend Aahz, you are not only an excellent judge of character, but a clever captain of resources.'
I grinned. 'I bet you say that to all the Pervects. Now, here's what I've got in mind. We're going to give Barrik what he wants. Calypsa's going to go home and visit her parents.'
'What?' Calypsa said, after she had finished a spontaneous dance for joy. 'I thought you said that it would be too perilous for me and my family if I did.'
'Simple,' I said. 'We want Barrik to think we don't suspect anything. Before her mother's broken out the baklava, Barrik will know that Calypsa is home. Nothing travels faster in a small town than gossip. They'll be talking about the fabulous treasures she's carrying. What they won't be able to tell him is whether they're real or not.'
'But of course we are real, dear Aahz,' Kelsa said, patiently.
'Should he not meet us?' Ersatz demanded. 'Will we not bring our full force to bear upon this caitiff? He has insulted her family and cast her honored ancestor into durance vile'
'Sure he will meet you,' I said, not able to keep myself from grinning. 'Just not in the way that he expects to.'
We went into a huddle.
Calypsa looked like a baby chick whose mother hen had abandoned it on the doorstep as she stood with her bag full of pseudo-Hoard swag, waiting for the portcullis of the black castle to rise. I didn't like the glee of the Dile henchmen as they marched out and surrounded her. They were plenty rough
as they towed her inside. Her parents hung back on the other side of the moat with the rest of the townsfolk, clutching one another in fear. Calypsa kept her back straight.
