pretty much done it all — well, almost.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” I said. “We just haven’t really been up to anything.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “You mean you and Xavier haven’t—?”
“Shh!” I flapped my hands at her when I saw the kids at the next table turn and stare. “No, of course not!”
“Sorry,” she said. “You just surprised me. I mean, well, I just thought you would have. But you’ve done other stuff, yeah?”
“Sure. We go for walks, hold hands, share lunch…”
“My God, Beth, how old are you?” Molly groaned. “Do I have to spell everything out for you?” She narrowed her eyes. “Wait, have you even seen it?”
“Seen what?” I exploded.
“You
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’d never do anything like that.”
“Well, hasn’t he hinted that he wants more?”
“No,” I said indignantly. “Xavier doesn’t care about stuff like that.”
“That’s what they all say at first,” Molly said cynically. “Just give it some time. Great as Xavier is, all guys want the same thing.”
“Do they really?”
“Of course, hon.” Molly patted my arm. “I just think you should be prepared.”
I fell silent. If there was one subject I trusted Molly’s opinion on it was boys. They were her area of expertise, and she’d had enough experience to know what she was talking about. I felt suddenly very uneasy. I’d assumed Xavier wasn’t bothered by my inability to fulfill all aspects of our relationship. After all, he’d never brought it up, never hinted that it numbered among his expectations. But was there a chance he was keeping his true desires from me? Just because he never mentioned it, didn’t mean it wasn’t playing on his mind. He loved me because I was different, but human beings still had certain needs — some of which couldn’t be ignored indefinitely.
“Oh my God, have you seen the new guy?”
Molly broke my train of thought, and I looked up to see Jake Thorn strolling past us. He didn’t acknowledge me but instead crossed the cafeteria to sit at a table of about fifteen seniors who gazed at him with a strange combination of adoration and respect.
“He hasn’t wasted any time recruiting friends,” I commented to Molly.
“Are you surprised? That guy is seriously hot.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah, in a dark, brooding kind of way. He could be a model with a face like that.”
Jake’s circle of supporters all had a similar air about them. They had dark shadows under their eyes. They tended to keep their heads down and didn’t make eye contact with anyone outside their group. I watched the way Jake looked at them, with a self-satisfied smile on his face, like a cat with a saucer of cream.
“He’s in my lit class,” I said casually.
“Oh my God, you are so lucky!” Molly moaned. “So what’s he like? He looks like a rebel to me.”
“He’s actually pretty intelligent.”
“Damn.” Molly pouted. “Those guys never go for me. I only get the dumb jocks. But hey, there’s no harm in trying.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” I said.
“That’s easy for you to say when you’ve got Xavier Woods,” Molly replied.
We were distracted by a piercing scream coming from the kitchens, followed by the sound of panicked voices and running feet. The students exchanged nervous glances and a few got up hesitantly to investigate. One of them, Simon Laurence, froze in the doorway of the kitchen and his hand flew to his mouth. He backed away, his face was turning ashen, and he looked like he was about to retch.
“Hey, what happened?” Molly grabbed Simon as he came past us.
“Uh, one of the cooks,” he said. “Deep fryer tipped over… burned her legs pretty bad. They’re calling for an ambulance.” He staggered off, looking shaken.
I stared down at my plate and tried to focus on sending healing energy in the direction of the kitchen, or at least something that might numb the pain. It was more effective if I could see the person who was hurt or touch them, but I knew that to go into the kitchen would look suspicious, and I’d probably get thrown out for interfering before I could get near the cook. So I stayed where I was and did my best. But there was something wrong: I couldn’t channel properly. Every time I tried, something blocked me, and I felt my energy rebound before it reached the kitchen. It felt like another force was intercepting mine, as impenetrable as concrete, pushing the healing energy back. Maybe I was just tired. I pushed harder but only met with stronger resistance.
“Um, Beth… what are you doing? You look constipated,” Molly said, snapping me out of my trance.
I shook my head to clear it and gave her a forced smile. “It’s just warm in here.”
“Yeah, let’s go. There’s not much we can do anyway,” she said, pushing back her chair and standing up.
I followed her wordlessly out of the cafeteria.
As we passed the table where Jake Thorn and his new friends were seated, Jake looked up at me. Our eyes met, and for a split second I felt I was drowning in their depth.
22
The “S” Word
On the weekend, Molly visited Byron for the first time. She’d been making veiled remarks about coming over for a while, and finally I relented and invited her. It didn’t take her long to make herself at home. She flopped down on the deep sofa and kicked up her feet.
“This is a great place,” she said. “You could host a sick party here.”
“I don’t think that’s likely to happen anytime soon,” I said.
Ignoring my lack of enthusiasm, Molly leapt to her feet to examine a piece of artwork hanging above the fireplace. It was an abstract piece depicting an expanse of white with a circular symbol drawn in the center. Concentric blue circles widened around it, growing fainter as they moved closer to the edge of the canvas.
“What’s this supposed to be?” she asked dubiously.
I looked at the inky blue circles against the stark white background and thought of a number of ideas they could represent. It seemed to me an expression of ultimate reality, a depiction of Our Creator’s role in the universe. He was the source and center of all things. From Him the web of life unfolded, but it was all inextricably tied to Him. The circles could have represented the extent of His sovereignty, and the white, a depiction of space and time. His power, His very being extended to the edges of the canvas and hinted that it went beyond — filling every space. Not just the world belonged to Him, but the universe as well. It was an expression of infinity, encapsulating everything the human mind struggled to understand. The only true reality that could never be denied was Him.
Of course I wasn’t about to try and explain any of that to Molly. I wasn’t being arrogant in believing that it was beyond the comprehension of man. Humans feared life outside their world, and although some questioned what lay beyond, they never came close to enlightenment. One day human life would end, and even the earth itself would crumble to dust, but existence would continue.
Molly lost interest in the painting and instead picked up the acoustic guitar propped against a chair and held it gingerly.
“Does this belong to Gabriel?”
“Yes, and he loves that thing,” I replied, hoping she would put it down.
I looked around furtively in case Gabriel and Ivy were lurking around a corner, but they were tactfully giving us some privacy. Molly held the instrument gently, running her fingers over the taut strings in fascination.
“I wish I was musical. I used to take piano when I was little but I never had enough discipline to practice. It
