Halo

deja vu — like I’ve been with him before. It’s kinda scary but amazing. Sometimes I feel like I know what he’s about to say or do.” She shook her curls determinedly. “So, will you help me?”

“What can I do?”

“I want you to take me seriously. Let me come with you next time you visit Fairhaven.”

Was Molly’s interest in the nursing home part of the divine plan? We were trying to encourage a spirit of charity, even if the motivation was questionable. “I guess I can do that much, but promise not to get your hopes up.”

By the time Molly was ready to leave, it was getting dark. Gabriel politely offered to drive her home.

“No, it’s okay,” Molly said, not wanting to be an imposition. “I can walk. It’s really not far.”

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that,” Gabriel replied, picking up the keys to the Jeep. “The streets are no place for a young girl at this time of night.”

He wasn’t the sort of person one argued with, so Molly just winked as she hugged me good-bye. “A sign!” she hissed in my ear before following Gabriel to the car, walking as demurely as it was possible for Molly to walk.

Upstairs in my room, I tried to continue working on the poetry assignment but found myself with a serious case of writer’s block. I couldn’t come up with a single idea. I scribbled down a few possibilities, but they all seemed so stale they ended up in the wastepaper basket. As Jake had been the one to start it, I felt no sense of ownership over it and nothing I came up with seemed to fit. Eventually I gave up trying and went downstairs to call Xavier.

As it turned out, my creative deficiency wasn’t a problem.

“I’ve taken the liberty of completing the first stanza for us,” Jake announced as we sat together at the back of the lit classroom the next day. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, I’m glad you did. Can I hear it?”

With a flick of his wrist, he opened his journal to the right page. His voice was like liquid as he read aloud.

She had the face of an angel

I saw mirrors in her eyes

We were one and the same, she and I

Both bound by potent lies.

I looked up slowly, unsure what I had been expecting. Jake’s expression remained amicable.

“Awful?” he asked. His eyes were searching my face for a reaction. I could’ve sworn they were green the last time I checked, but today they were coal black.

“It’s good,” I said weakly. “You have a flair for this stuff.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I tried to imagine myself as Heathcliff writing about Cathy. Nobody meant as much to him as she did. He loved her so much that he had nothing left for anyone else.”

“It was all consuming,” I agreed.

I looked down, but Jake took my hand and began to run his finger in swirls across my wrist. His fingers were hot and I felt them burning into my skin. It was as if he were trying to send me a message without speech.

“You’re very beautiful,” he murmured. “I’ve never seen skin so delicate, like a flower. But I suppose you hear that all the time.”

I pulled my wrist away. “No,” I said. “Nobody’s ever told me that.”

“There’s a whole lot more I’d like to tell you if you give me the chance.” Jake was almost in a trancelike state now. “I could show you what it’s really like to be in love.”

“I am in love,” I said. “I don’t need your help.”

“I could make you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

“Xavier gives me everything I want,” I snapped.

“I could show you pleasure on a scale you never thought possible,” Jake persisted, his voice a low hypnotic hum, “things beyond your wildest imagination.”

“I don’t think Xavier would like that,” I said coldly.

“Think about what you would like, Bethany. As far as Xavier goes, it sounds like you tell him far too much. I’d try operating on a need-to-know basis if I were you.”

I was taken aback by his bluntness. “Well, you’re not me and that’s not how I operate. My relationship with Xavier is based on trust, something you don’t seem to be familiar with,” I snapped. I was trying to highlight the moral chasm that separated us.

I pushed back my chair and got up. Anticipating a scene, the other students turned to stare at me expectantly. Even Miss Castle looked up from the stack of papers she was marking.

“Don’t be angry with me, Beth,” said Jake, suddenly imploring. “Please, sit down.”

Reluctantly I took my seat again but only because I didn’t want to draw attention and add fuel to the Bryce Hamilton rumor mill.

“I don’t think I want to continue this assignment with you,” I said. “I’m sure Miss Castle will understand.”

“Don’t be like that. I’m sorry. Can we just forget I said anything?”

I huffed and folded my arms, but I was no match for the expression of innocence that had suddenly appeared on Jake’s face.

“I need you as a friend,” he said. “Give me one more chance?”

“Only if you promise never to say anything like that to me again.”

“Okay, okay.” Jake held up his hands in defeat. “I promise — not another word.”

When I saw Xavier after class, I didn’t mention the conversation with Jake. I suspected it would only make him angry and result in a confrontation. Besides, Xavier and I already had enough to think about without throwing Jake into the equation. Nevertheless, keeping things from him gave me an uneasy feeling. When I looked back on it later, I realized that was exactly what Jake Thorn had wanted.

“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked Xavier as we lay on the sand after school.

We had intended to go straight home and study for our upcoming third-quarter exams, but we’d been distracted by the prospect of ice cream. We’d bought cones and taken the long route home via the beach, walking hand in hand. Inevitably I’d wanted to dip my feet in the water. Then we’d ended up chasing each other, until Xavier caught me and we’d both sprawled on the sand.

Xavier rolled around to face me, dusting the grains of sand from my nose. “You can talk to me about anything.”

“Well,” I began awkwardly, “I don’t know how to say this… and I don’t want it to come out sounding wrong. ..”

Xavier sat up and pushed the hair out of his eyes, his face serious. “Are you breaking up with me?” he asked.

“What!” I cried. “No, of course not — just the opposite.”

“Oh.” He slid back down and smiled lazily. “Then you must be about to propose. You know, it’s not a leap year. ..”

“You’re not making this any easier,” I complained.

“Sorry.” He looked at me earnestly. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I want to know what you think… how you feel about…” I paused and lowered my voice, “the S word.”

Xavier rested his chin on his hand.

“I’m not good at riddles. You’re going to have to be a bit more specific,” he said.

I squirmed uncomfortably, not wanting to say it out loud.

“What’s the second letter?” Xavier laughed, trying to help me along.

“E,” I said. “Followed by X.”

“You want to talk about sex?”

“Not talk about it,” I said. “I’m just asking if… well, if you ever think about it?”

“Where is this coming from?” Xavier asked gently. “This doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Well, I was talking to Molly,” I said. “And she thought it was weird that we hadn’t… you know, done