carpet and screw my brains out.
Still, there was a seed of doubt that festered-what if my plan blew up in my face? What if my actions just drove us further apart?
I licked my lips. “It happened last night.” I folded my hands in my lap, the jittering of my possibly rash behavior rippling across my body. The jarring sensation took me back to Billy Edenton’s F-150, the cab jerking as it went down the old dirt road. The smell of the night air, Paisley on the radio, and the feel of his shaky hand on my thigh felt so real. I knew what we were doing; what it would mean-and I didn’t care.
Pastor Lewis’ voice was clear as a bell. “Leslie? Did you hear me?”
I blinked rapidly, floating back down from the memory in my head. “I–I’m sorry, Pastor. What was your question?”
His lips were a firm line. “I asked what happened between you and Billy.”
“Ah,” I said, scooting to the edge of my chair. “Where was I? Oh yes-after our date.” I ran my hands up and down my thighs. “We’d just gotten back in town. Me and Billy’d gone to see some zombie flick up in Marville. I still had an hour before curfew.”
Pastor Lewis nodded. “Go on.”
“So we were gonna-” I took a beat and made an obvious gesture with my eyes. Mom turned her head away with disgust, but Pastor Lewis just stared ahead at me, like I was talking about the weather instead of hooking up with some guy the night before.
“Just say it out loud, Les,” Mom said acidly. “If you’re grown enough to do it, the least you can do is say it.”
I glanced back at the pastor. Why hadn’t he asked Mom to leave yet?
“Well Mom,” I said, equal portions of disdain in my voice, “Maybe if your husbands of the week had spent less time ogling me and more time being father figures, I wouldn’t feel the need to screw guys on back roads.”
She leapt from her seat, almost toppling me over when she got in my face. Talking about her ex’s was always a sure-fire way to get into a hardcore confrontation.
“How dare you!” she screeched, spit flying in my face. “Don’t make this about me…no one touched you. No one made you spread your legs!”
“Oh I see,” I said with a bitter chuckle, “I’m a whore. That’s great, Mom. Real Christian-like.”
“You ungrateful-”
“Alright!” Pastor Lewis cut in loudly, calling a timeout. “Obviously tensions are high.” He drummed his nails on his desk before conceding. “Maybe it would be best if you waited out in the tabernacle, Mrs. Johnson.”
“But I-”
“I will help Leslie,” he said gently. “But I think things would go smoother if it was just she and I.”
She peered over at me, her face still colored with hurt and anger. “You want me to go.”
I tried to look sorry and hoped she bought it. “Yeah. It would be easier, Mom.”
She shot another look at the pastor then forfeited, smoothing an invisible wrinkle from her skirt. “I’ll be out in the tabernacle if you need me.”
I turned my head in the direction of her departure, each click of her kitten heels taking me closer to my goal of being alone with him. As soon as his office door snapped closed and I heard the tap of the second set of doors shut, I bounced from my seat. “I thought she’d never leave!” I bridged the distance between he and I, my heart roaring in my chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”
But instead of sharing in my delight, he gave me the cold shoulder, turning his head when I leaned in for a kiss. “What’s this B.S. with you and Billy Edenton?”
I took a step back. “Well, Billy is my boyfriend.” I scooted onto his desk, swinging my legs in and out with barely-contained glee. “You jealous?”
His dark eyes narrowed. “Answer me.”
His voice shook the playfulness from my tone. “It didn’t mean anything, John.”
“Pastor Lewis,” he corrected with a sneer. “If it didn’t mean anything, why did you tell Maureen?”
I bit my lips, suddenly worried that my whole plan was gonna blow up in my face. “You pushed me to it. You stopped answering my texts, my emails. You got your bitch secretary to lie to me-”
He backhanded me, sending a jolt of pain across my cheek. “You pushed me to it. You know I’m married, Leslie. I have a newborn kid for crissakes. You were talking crazy, rambling on and on about us living happily ever after.”
“Is that so ridiculous?” I tried to steel my voice but it wavered. “John-Pastor Lewis, I can’t get you out of my head. I did the only thing I could think of to get your attention.”
I cried out when he reached out and gripped my chin roughly, forcing me to look him dead on. “Tell me what you did.”
His nails dug into my skin, sending a renewed bout of pain to my already raw flesh, but I didn’t pull away. “You refused to see me.” The discomfort his ferocious hold caused was replaced by a craving that I knew all too well. I was obsessed with him…ever since we hooked up on the beach during a church trip to Myrtle Beach. His powerful caress, the way he moved in me while the waves crashed against the sand. I’d do anything, be anyone, bed anybody if it meant that I could just breathe the same air he breathed.
He let go of my chin with a snort of disgust. “So you decide to seduce me by acting like a petulant child?”
“I’m not a child,” I said, my voice rising.
He turned from me, shaking his head with disappointment. I had to salvage this…I had to remind him how good we were together.
“I’m wearing that perfume you like. The cotton candy one.” I angled toward him, stopping a few inches from his mouth. “Wanna smell?”
His lips twitched as he lingered there, but he just moved away, creating some distance.
“Don’t you miss me?” I pouted.
He pulled at his sweater. “Leslie-”
One word melted away my inhibitions and I dove back in, burrowing my cheek in the nape of his neck. “God, I love the way you say my name.”
He responded to me at first, letting out a sigh of his own before he grabbed my shoulders and knocked me backward. “I said this was over. Last time was it.”
His words were like a blow to the stomach, knocking the air from my lungs. I wanted to cry and beg for him, explain that nothing compared to the feel of him inside me, but that wouldn’t shock him back to reality. We both knew we belonged together. Right or wrong, we made sense.
I slid from his desk, realizing the only way to get something, anything from him was to get a rise. I had to make him jealous.
I lowered myself in the seat across from him. “I thought you wanted to hear about Billy.”
He massaged the bridge of his nose. “You should leave, Leslie.”
I twirled a gold tendril around my finger. “But don’t you want to hear about what happened last night?”
“Leslie-”
“We drove down Fort Run Rd.” I paused, trying to seem nonchalant. “You know that road, don’t you Pastor? The one out past McLane Farm?”
“Don’t do this,” he said hoarsely, his face turning red.
I licked my lips, only emboldened by his visible reaction. “I was already pre-gaming, rubbing him through his pants.” I clucked my tongue when I saw his hand creep off his desktop to his lap. “It was just Billy and I, with some depressing drawl on the radio. The real show was going on in his pants…and I had front row tickets.”
I let my hand travel up the skirt of my dress as I recounted the prior evening. “He was so nervous, Pastor. I could practically hear his teeth chattering.” I let out a hint of a moan as my fingertips brushed the seat of my panties, the moistness sopping me to the bone. “I asked him what he had in mind and he asked me if I was serious.”
“Serious?” Pastor Lewis said, his eyes glazed over.
I nodded. “I’d told him about a fantasy I had.”
“Oh God,” he whispered. I had to strain to hear it. He was trying so hard to be good, to deny what was rightfully ours.
