* * * * *
A dream of a keeper in the zoological gardens. He dreams that there was presented to the Zoo first a marmot, then an emu, then a vulture, then a she-goat, then another emu; the presentations are made without end and the Zoo is crowded out—the keeper wakes up in horror wet with perspiration.
* * * * *
'To harness slowly but drive rapidly is in the nature of this people,' said Bismarck.
* * * * *
When an actor has money, he doesn't send letters but telegrams.
* * * * *
With insects, out of the caterpillar comes the butterfly; with mankind it is the other way round, out of the butterfly comes the caterpillar.[1]
[Footnote 1: There is a play on words here, the Russian word for butterfly also means a woman.]
* * * * *
The dogs in the house became attached not to their masters who fed and fondled them, but to the cook, a foreigner, who beat them.
* * * * *
Sophie was afraid that her dog might catch cold, because of the draught.
* * * * *
The soil is so good, that, were you to plant a shaft, in a year's time a cart would grow out of it.
* * * * *
X. and Z., very well educated and of radical views, married. In the evening they talked together pleasantly, then quarreled, then came to blows. In the morning both are ashamed and surprised, they think that it must have been the result of some exceptional state of their nerves. Next night again a quarrel and blows. And so every night until at last they realize that they are not at all educated, but savage, just like the majority of people.
* * * * *
A play: in order to avoid having visitors, Z. pretends to be a regular tippler, although he drinks nothing.
* * * * *
When children appear on the scene, then we justify all our weaknesses, our compromises, and our snobbery, by saying: 'It's for the children's sake.'
* * * * *
Count, I am going away to Mordegundia. (A land of horrible faces.)
* * * * *
Barbara Nedotyopin.
* * * * *
Z., an engineer or doctor, went on a visit to his uncle, an editor; he became interested, began to go there frequently; then became a contributor to the paper, little by little gave up his profession; one night he came out of the newspaper office, remembered, and seized his head in his hands—'all is lost!' He began to go gray. Then it became a habit, he was quite white now and flabby, an editor, respectable but obscure.
* * * * *
A Privy Councillor, an old man, looking at his children, became a radical himself.
* * * * *
A newspaper: 'Cracknel.'
* * * * *
The clown in the circus—that is talent, and the waiter in the frock coat speaking to him—that is the crowd; the waiter with an ironical smile on his face.
* * * * *
Auntie from Novozybkov.
* * * * *
He has a rarefaction of the brain and his brains have leaked into his ears.
* * * * *
'What? Writers? If you like, for a shilling I'll make a writer of you.'
* * * * *
Instead of translator, contractor.
* * * * *
An actress, forty years old, ugly, ate a partridge for dinner, and I felt sorry for the partridge, for it occurred to me that in its life it had been more talented, more sensible, and more honest than that actress.
* * * * *
The doctor said to me: 'If,' says he, 'your constitution holds out, drink to your heart's content.' (Gorbunov.)
* * * * *
Carl Kremertartarlau.
* * * * *
A field with a distant view, one tiny birch tree. The inscription under the picture: loneliness.
* * * * *
The guests had gone: they had played cards and everything was in disorder: tobacco smoke, scraps of paper, and chiefly—the dawn and memories.
* * * * *
Better to perish from fools than to accept praises from them.
* * * * *
Why do trees grow and so luxuriantly, when the owners are dead?
* * * * *
The character keeps a library, but he is always away visiting; there are no readers.
* * * * *
Life seems great, enormous, and yet one sits on one's
[Footnote 1: The word means five kopecks and also a pig's snout.]
* * * * *
Zolotonosha?[1] There is no such town! No!
[Footnote 1: The name of a Russian town, meaning literally
'Gold-carrier.']
* * * * *
When he laughs, he shows his teeth and gums.
* * * * *
He loved the sort of literature which did not upset him, Schiller,
Homer, etc.
* * * * *
N., a teacher, on her way home in the evening was told by her friend that X. had fallen in love with her, N., and wanted to propose. N., ungainly, who had never before thought of marriage, when she got home, sat for a long time trembling with fear, could not sleep, cried, and towards morning fell in love with X.; next day she heard that the whole thing was a supposition on the part of her friend and that X. was going to marry not her but Y.
* * * * *
He had a liaison with a woman of forty-five after which he began to write ghost stories.
* * * * *
I dreamt that I was in India and that one of the local princes presented me with an elephant, two elephants even. I was so worried about the elephant that I woke up.
* * * * *
