VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don't want any sign of you here! I don't want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his voice can be heard outside: 'I'll make a complaint against you.'] What, coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go . . . go . . . go, I'll show you. . . . Are you going? Are you going? Well, then take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.]
LOPAKHIN. Much obliged.
VARYA. [Angry but amused] I'm sorry.
LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception.
VARYA. It isn't worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks gently] I didn't hurt you, did I?
LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There'll be an enormous bump, that's all.
VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin's returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch!
PISCHIN. Now we'll see what there is to see and hear what there is to hear. . . . [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And we're all having a good time.
Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.
LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch ? Why were you so long? Where's Leonid?
LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he's coming. . . .
LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me?
LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at four o'clock. . . . We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head's going round a little.
Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his left he wipes away his tears.
LUBOV. Leon, what's happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, for the love of God. . . .
GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] Here, take this. . . . Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch. . . . I've had no food to-day. . . . I have had a time! [The door from the billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA'S voice, 'Seven, eighteen!' GAEV'S expression changes, he cries no more] I'm awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers.
Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.
PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us!
LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold?
LOPAKHIN. It is sold.
LUBOV. Who bought it?
LOPAKHIN. I bought it.
LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.
LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head's going round, I can't talk. . . . [Laughs] When we got to the sale, Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That means he went up by fives and I went up by tens. . . . Well, it came to an end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, the cherry orchard's mine! Tell me I'm drunk, or mad, or dreaming. . . . [Stamps his feet] Don't laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is the most beautiful thing in the world! I've bought the estate where my grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren't even allowed into the kitchen. I'm asleep, it's only a dream, an illusion. . . . It's the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown. . . . [Picks up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show she was no
