moment.
'And?'
'The morning after I heard my father's ghost for the first time…' Her voice grew harsh. 'I mean, the morning after
Harry glanced at the clock. He hated the legacy of the psychoanalyst: the perfectly timed fifty-minute hour. There was so much more he wanted to delve into. But patients need consistency and, according to the old school, discipline. He said, 'I'm sorry but I see our time's up.'
Dutifully Patsy rose. Harry observed how disheveled she looked. Yes, her makeup had been carefully applied but the buttons on her blouse weren't done properly. Either she'd dressed in a hurry or hadn't paid attention. And one of the straps on her expensive, tan shoes wasn't hooked.
She rose. 'Thank you, Doctor… It's good just to be able to tell someone about this.'
'We'll get everything worked out. I'll see you next week.'
After Patsy had left the office Harry Bernstein sat down at his desk. He spun slowly in his chair, gazing at his books — the
A bird flew past.
He thought about the shattered ceramic sparrow from Patsy's childhood.
And Harry thought: What a significant session this has been.
Not only for his patient. But for him too.
Patsy Randolph — who had until today been just another mildly discontented middle-aged patient — represented a watershed event for Dr. Harold David Bernstein. He was in a position to change her life completely.
And in doing so maybe he could redeem his own.
Harry laughed out loud, spun again in the chair, like a child on a playground. Once, twice, three times.
A figure appeared in the doorway. 'Doctor?' Miriam, his secretary, cocked her head, which was covered with fussy white hair. 'Are you all right?'
'I'm fine. Why're you asking?'
'Well, it's just… I don't think I've heard you laugh for a long time. I don't think I've
Which was another reason to laugh. And he did.
She frowned, concern in her eyes.
Harry stopped smiling. He looked at her gravely. 'Listen, I want you to take the rest of the day off.'
She looked mystified. 'But… it's quitting time, Doctor.'
'Joke,' he explained. 'It was a joke. See you tomorrow.'
Miriam eyed him cautiously, unable, it seemed, to shake the quizzical expression from her face. 'You're sure you're all right?'
'I'm fine. Good night.'
' 'Night, Doctor.'
A moment later he heard the front door to the office click shut.
He spun around in his chair once more, reflecting: Patsy Randolph… I can save you and you can save me.
And Dr. Harry Bernstein was a man badly in need of saving.
Because he hated what he did for a living.
Not the business of helping patients with their mental and emotional problems — oh, he was a natural-born therapist. None better. What he hated was practicing Upper East Side psychiatry. It had been the last thing he'd ever wanted to do. But in his second year of Columbia Medical School the tall, handsome student met the tall, beautiful assistant development director of the Museum of Modern Art. Harry and Linda were married before he started his internship. He moved out of his fifth-floor walk-up near Harlem and into her town house on East Eighty- first. Within weeks she'd begun changing his life. Linda was a woman who had high aspirations for her man (very similar to Patsy, in whose offhand comment several weeks ago about her husband's lack of ambition Harry had seen reams of anger). Linda wanted money, she wanted to be on the regulars list for benefits at the Met, she wanted to be pampered at four-star restaurants in Eze and Monaco and Paris.
A studious, easygoing man from a modest suburb of New York, Harry knew that by listening to Linda he was headed in the wrong direction. But he was in love with her
At first Harry had worried about the astronomical bills they were amassing. But soon the money was flowing in. He had no trouble getting business; there's no lack of neuroses among the rich, and the insured, on the isle of Manhattan. He was also very good at what he did. His patients came and they liked him and so they returned weekly.
Their troubles may have been plebeian, even laughably minor at times, but his oath, as well as his character, wouldn't let Harry minimize them. He worked hard to help his patients.
And all the while he neglected what he really wanted to do. Which was to treat severe mental cases. People who were paranoid schizophrenics, people with bipolar depression and borderline personalities — people who led sorrowful lives and couldn't hide from that sorrow with the money that Harry's patients had.
From time to time he had volunteered at various clinics — particularly a small one in Brooklyn that treated homeless men and women — but with his Park Avenue caseload and his wife's regimen of social obligations, there had been no way he could devote much time to the clinic. He'd wrestled with the thought of just chucking his Park Avenue practice. Of course, if he'd done that, his income would have dropped by ninety percent. He and Linda had had two children a couple of years after they'd gotten married — two sweet daughters Harry loved very much — and their needs, very
But the irony was that even after Linda
Yet, out of the dozens of patients who whined about minor dissatisfactions, here came Patsy Randolph, a truly desperate patient: a woman telling him about ghosts, about her husband trying to drive her insane, a woman clearly on the brink.
A patient, at last, who would give Harry a chance to redeem his life.
That night he didn't bother with dinner. He came home and went straight into his den, where sat stacked in high piles a year's worth of the professional journals that he'd never bothered to read since they dealt with serious psychiatric issues and didn't much affect the patients in his practice. He kicked his shoes off and began sifting through them, taking notes. He found Internet sites devoted to psychotic behavior and he spent hours online, downloading articles that could help him with Patsy's situation.
Harry was rereading an obscure article in the