You Against Me

‘You’re bored, I know you are.’ She pulled her knees up and hugged them. ‘Sometimes, I wonder if you even believe me.’

‘I’m going to get him for you, aren’t I?’

‘So you keep saying. Whacking him doesn’t prove anything though.’

‘It proves he can’t mess with us.’

Holly came back in and sat on the rug. ‘What’s going on?’

Mikey turned to her. ‘Holly, what the hell are you wearing?’

‘The other stuff was stinky.’

‘You can’t wear your Tottenham kit to school.’

‘School’s shut. They just said so on TV.’

He laughed. Holly laughed with him.

Karyn stared at him with dark eyes. ‘If you beat him up, you’re going to get in trouble. How does that help anyone?’

He gave her a look that was supposed to tell her she shouldn’t be talking about this in front of Holly. An eight- year-old would never keep her mouth shut. He was angry now, could feel it building inside him.

Holly blinked up at him, puzzled. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter.’

‘But I want to know.’

‘Please,’ Mikey said, ‘go and get dressed properly.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. He was beginning to get a headache. ‘I tell you what, if you’re dressed in school uniform and back here in five minutes, I’ll play footie with you in the courtyard later.’

‘That’s a bribe.’

‘Yep.’

She scowled at him. ‘Well, it’s not big enough.’

‘Maybe she should stay here,’ Karyn said. ‘That’d be easier for you.’

He wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic or not. Maybe she just didn’t want to be alone.

‘I don’t mind,’ Holly said. ‘I can do drawing if I stay here. And we can play football.’

Mikey sat with it for a moment. They had to keep being normal, didn’t they? Holly had missed loads of school recently. If they didn’t keep up some kind of routine, wouldn’t everything collapse?

‘No,’ he said, ‘this is how it’s going to be. Holly’s going to get dressed in proper clothes. I’m going to see if there’s anything in the kitchen to eat. Holly and Karyn are going to have breakfast, then I’m taking Holly to school and we’ll put our names in the late book. Karyn will stay here and do tidying and sort food out for dinner, so when Holly gets home there will be something to eat.’

Karyn shook her head. ‘She can’t go to school if there’s no one to collect her.’

It took a beat to sink in. Mum usually collected Holly, but Mum had gone. Karyn couldn’t go out, so that left him. His shift finished at nine, so unless he blagged time off, it was impossible.

He went and sat on the toilet for a while to think about it. He took ages, hoping it would somehow all be sorted by the time he’d finished.

He thought of the bloke they’d seen on TV the night before, sent off to Iraq at eighteen – running about in all that heat with snipers aiming at his head. What had Karyn said? Now there’s somebody brave. But the poor bastard had been shaking in front of the camera, and the look in his eyes was mad – something like terror, something like shame. Was that brave?

Mikey took a wad of toilet paper and wiped himself. Things usually seemed easier after a dump, like the world got put back in the right order.

The texts arrived when he was washing his hands. Jacko saying he’d meet him outside at ten. Sienna saying she’d expect him in half an hour. Mikey leaned over the sink and closed his eyes. By the time he’d taken Holly to school, he’d be late for both of them. It felt like spinning plates, keeping everyone happy, not letting anything fall.

He texted Sienna back, Course. He texted Jacko, 11.00 @ Sienna’s.

Holly was on the landing again when he came out of the bathroom. She had her school uniform and coat on, her book bag slung over one shoulder. She’d even made an attempt to plait her own hair.

‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to go.’

‘But I want to.’

‘You can stay here with Karyn.’

‘But we’re doing scrap art today and that’s my favourite.’

‘Well, I can’t take you now, I’ve just got busy. Anyway, you’ve been wanting to stay at home since you woke up.’

‘No I haven’t.’

He squatted down next to her and she looked back at him, her eyes all teary. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I thought you’d be here too. I thought it was your day off. I don’t want to be on my own with Karyn.’ She stuck her thumb in her mouth and looked down at her feet. ‘She makes me feel watery.’

Mikey felt his stomach grip again. He put both hands on her shoulders and made her look at him. ‘School started half an hour ago, Holly. We’d get into real trouble if I took you in now. They’d tell me off and they’d tell Mum off. There’s no one to pick you up either, so we’d all get told off twice. Then they’d send some nosy woman round to ask us all questions. And you know what that means, don’t you?’

Holly nodded, her eyes wide with the thought of children’s homes. It worked every time.

She followed him down the stairs and sat on the carpet in the hallway. In the lounge, the TV was blaring. At least Karyn had managed to get out of the bedroom.

Mikey sat on the bottom stair to put his trainers on. ‘If Mum comes back, tell her to text me.’

‘Will she come back soon?’

‘Maybe.’ It was the closest to the truth he could manage.

‘What if she doesn’t?’

‘Well, then you get to watch TV all day with Karyn. Tell her you get to choose half the programmes, OK?’

‘You tell her.’

But he didn’t want to go in there in case she tried to stop him leaving. If he was going to fit Sienna in before hooking up with Jacko, he had to go now.

He kissed the top of Holly’s head. ‘I’ll be back later with some shopping. I’ll get us some nice things.’

‘What if a bus hits you?’

‘It won’t.’

‘But what if it does?’ She looked at him with serious eyes. ‘Please don’t go.’

But he had to. It was only fair. He pulled on his jacket, did up his zip and smacked his chest like a gorilla. It usually made her laugh, but not today.

Ten

‘Karyn McKenzie’s a slut and everyone knows it.’

Ellie didn’t know this girl, or any of the other kids who sidled up to her in the playground and stood around in small groups listening in.

‘She started having sex in Year Eight,’ the girl said. ‘She bragged about that for weeks. And remember the rumour about her and that boy from college?’

Ellie nodded. Karyn was a liar who came from a crazy family. She got wasted and slept with Tom, then changed her mind in the morning. Ellie wished she’d come back to school days ago. She’d never been so popular.

‘I heard she’s gone really weird,’ another girl said, ‘all agoraphobic or alcoholic or something.’

‘It’s guilt,’ the first girl said. ‘If you turn up uninvited to a boy’s house dressed like a ho, it’s not a total surprise when he jumps you, is it?’

A couple of boys laughed. One of them patted Ellie on the back as if they’d been mates for years. ‘So, did your