You Against Me

‘Important?’ Stacey’s lips curled as if something tasted bad in her mouth.

‘Yes.’ Ellie knew she was blushing, hated how hot she felt. ‘Someone told me she’s not leaving her flat any more.’

Stacey stood up and took a step towards Ellie. She had thin lips and pale skin. Her eyes were brown. Ellie had never known any of these things about her before. ‘If I got nut-job texts from your brother, I’d be too scared to go out.’

‘He’s not allowed to text her.’

‘I’m talking before, when she told him she was going to the cops.’

Ellie shook her head. She had no clue what Stacey was talking about. ‘How is she now? That’s what I’m asking.’

Stacey took another step forward. ‘She won’t leave the flat, she won’t see her friends, she won’t come to school. She’s having a total breakdown. Satisfied?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why, what did you do?’

‘Nothing. I’m sorry, that’s all. Could you please tell her I’m sorry?’

‘You think she gives a crap how you feel?’

Ellie could feel humiliation burning her face, down her neck to her chest. Even her fingers burned with shame. She turned away.

But Stacey grabbed her sleeve. ‘Don’t walk away from me!’

Ellie yanked her arm free and tried to push past them, but Stacey and her mate separated and came round on either side of her, backing her towards the fence. It was a perfect manoeuvre, like something rehearsed. They stood in front of Ellie, blocking her way. She tried to stare them out, but it was difficult to focus – the playground appeared to tilt behind them.

Stacey said, ‘Why did you tell the cops you never saw anything?’

‘Because I didn’t.’

‘How can that be true?’

Both girls looked her up and down. Ellie tried to push past, but they pushed her back. She stumbled, nearly fell.

Stacey said, ‘Where were you all night?’

‘Asleep.’

The mate said, ‘Yeah, course you were.’

People were beginning to notice. Three boys standing further along the fence were clocking it all. One of them yelled, ‘Cat fight.’

No, Ellie didn’t want this. With people looking she’d have to do something, say something. She’d look stupid if she didn’t defend herself. Or guilty.

She tried to break free again. ‘Let me go.’

Stacey shoved her back. ‘Or what? What you gonna do, bitch? You gonna rape me?’

She was blaring it out. The boys jogged over. Stacey’s eyes glittered as she turned to them. ‘She was threatening me, did you get that?’

Ellie felt a shift in her belly as more kids came running up. What’s going on? What’s it about? Acid churned in her stomach.

‘Let me go.’

‘Why should I?’

‘Because I haven’t done anything to you.’

‘You’re his lying sister, aren’t you?’

And that’s when Ellie felt anger, like liquid rising. ‘And what are you, Stacey? What’s the name for someone who dumps their best friend so they can go home with a boy?’

‘I didn’t dump her, I left her with your brother. How was I to know he was a rapist?’

‘Why would he rape her when she was gagging for it?’

‘Because he’s a paedo perve, like the rest of his family.’ Stacey rolled her eyes, playing to the audience. ‘Your mum shag a dog, or something?’

‘Yeah, course she did.’ Ellie folded her arms at her. ‘What else do you know?’

‘I know you’re a bitch.’

‘You said that one already.’

‘And a slapper.’

‘Very original.’ Ellie took a step nearer. Her brain felt pure, thoughts came hot and simple. ‘At least I’m not fat.’

Stacey looked down at herself. ‘I’m not fat.’

‘You keep telling yourself that.’

Somebody laughed and Ellie felt a stab of pleasure. Stacey ran her tongue across her lips.

‘Come on,’ Ellie said, ‘you must be able to think of something else to say about me. You can’t be as dim as you look.’

‘You’re the one who’s dim.’

‘How?’

‘’Cos you’re a nerd. Look at you, in your crap tights and shoes.’

Stacey had bronze foundation on her face. It stopped at the point where her chin met her neck, so there was a line. She had a spattering of spots across her forehead and around her nose. She was sweating.

Ellie shrugged. ‘I can always change my clothes – what’re you going to do about your face?’

Again, a ripple of laughter.

Blood thundered in her ears. ‘Don’t feel bad, Stacey. I’m sure your zits don’t look obvious in the dark.’

The crowd whistled approval. Ellie was vaguely aware of someone trying to muscle nearer and someone else shoving them back. ‘Don’t stop them, man.’

Ellie slagged off Stacey’s fake tan, her pudgy knees, her plastic earrings. The crowd laughed. And if they were laughing at Stacey, then they weren’t laughing at her.

Every curse she’d ever heard any girl yell at any other came hurtling out of her mouth. If she said them first, then Stacey couldn’t use them. Like a poison-pen letter – pass it on or die. She told Stacey she should sue her parents, warned her she wouldn’t piss in her ear if her brain was on fire. And the crowd cheered her on.

It felt like spewing. You chuck up and the stink is out of you. You leave it somewhere else and you can walk away clean.

But Stacey couldn’t stand it. She grabbed Ellie’s ponytail and yanked it hard. Ellie put her hands to her head to protect herself, and Stacey slapped her. It jolted Ellie’s neck, pain seared into her cheek.

‘How’d you like that?’ Stacey hissed, her face twisted, spit on her lips. ‘You want some more?’

She pulled Ellie’s hair again, slapped her a second time. Something rattled in Ellie’s head, as if her brain had loosened. All her words were lost. No! No! She wouldn’t win this. All the things Stacey couldn’t say were spilling onto her head.

And then a miracle. ‘Teacher!’

The crowd legged it, the teacher came bowling in. ‘Break it up!’ he yelled. ‘Stacey Clarke, what the hell are you doing?’

And Stacey said, ‘Me? It’s not me! This girl’s crazy!’

But she let go.

Ellie struggled free, her hand to her scalp, to her cheek. She opened one eye to Mr Morris, her History teacher.

He said, ‘You OK?’

Her brain felt hot, the world seemed to have got brighter, like an over-developed photo. She said, ‘Yeah.’

‘Good, because you’re both coming with me.’

He sat Ellie in reception, gave her a sheet of A4 and a pen. ‘Write a statement,’ he said. ‘Exactly what happened, from the very beginning. I’ll be back.’

He took Stacey with him. She scowled at Ellie over her shoulder as she was led away.

Ellie stared at the sheet for a moment. It swung from cream to white, through shades of eggshell blue to grey.