“Yes. . afraid so. You see, I had it here in my rear pocket, and the motorbike was jouncing around- What, ho! Here it is, Des. I didn’t leave it on the motorbike, after all. There’s a good bit of mother in me, too, apparently.” He handed a pistol to Desmond.
Desmond, in turn, pointed it in the general direction of Max, 99 and von BOOM. “Since we seem to hold all the cards, and since it’s such a beastly hot day, shall we all just sit down, and, as the Americans say, refrigerate it?” he smiled.
“Cool it,” Max corrected.
“Ah, yes-slang terms haven’t changed much in thousands and thousands of years, eh?”
They all settled into deck chairs.
“Too bad we can’t phone ahead to the papers, Des,” Archie said. “This will raise quite a flap, I imagine-two mummies, thousands and thousands of years old, and still living. It’s the sort of thing the press makes a large to-do about.”
“Would be rather nice,” Desmond agreed. “But, of course, there’s no way to signal.”
“Far be it from me to be a sorehead,” Max said. “If you want to, you can use my shoe.”
“How very accommodating.”
Max removed his shoe and handed it to Desmond who got up and began waving it about.
“That won’t work,” Max said.
“I’m perfectly aware of that, chap. But, since you were so nice to offer it, I thought I’d at least go through the motions.”
“It’s a telephone,” Max explained. “Remove the heel and dial.”
Doubtfully, Desmond detached the heel. Finding the dial, he brightened. “By Harry! I’ve heard that you chaps back in ancient times were centuries ahead of us in some matters, but this- Fantastic!”
He dialed the Information Operator in Alexandria and got the numbers of the various newspapers, then telephoned each one and talked to a reporter. After he had finished spreading the news, he handed Max’s shoe back to him.
“They’ll all be at the dock to meet us,” Desmond advised Archie. “I suspect, old chap, that we’re in for a round of world-wide acclaim. Famous, and all that rot.”
“You’ll look like a couple of hoods, carrying that gun,” Max said.
Desmond sat up, startled. “Good gracious! You’re absolutely right. A pistol would look frightful in the newspaper pictures.”
“Chuck it overboard, Des,” Archie said.
“I hesitate to, old boy. It’s not mine, it’s yours.”
“Oh, yes-forgot about that. And it’s been in the family for such a terribly long time. It’s the one daddy always misplaced just before he went into battle in World War I.”
“Maybe I could help,” Max suggested. “I wouldn’t mind holding it for you-until after all the fuss and the picture-taking and all is over.”
“You know,” Desmond said, handing over the pistol, “you’re not really a bad sort at all-for a mummy.”
Max pointed the gun at them. “Hands up, and don’t move.”
“I rather think I’ll withdraw that last compliment,” Desmond said.
“Serves him right, too, Des,” Archie said grumpily.
“But, Max, what will we do with them?” 99 said.
“For starters, kick them off our boat,” Max replied.
“Max, those reporters are expecting them in Alexandria. If they’re not aboard, there’ll be an investigation. We’ll lose so much time.”
Max thought for a moment. He looked from Archie to Desmond, then from Desmond to Archie, then stared for a few seconds at the mummy cases.
“The problem is solved, 99,” Max said.
Two days later, the houseboat reached Alexandria. The dock was swarming with newspaper reporters. “Where are they?” the reporters called, scrambling aboard as the boat tied up at the pier.
“You’ll find what you’re looking for in the basement,” Max replied.
The reporters pushed past him and disappeared below. Max, 99 and von BOOM hurried ashore and rushed away. A few minutes later, they got into a taxi and ordered the driver to take them to the airport.
“Max. . Desmond and Archie are going to be very angry,” 99 said.
“I doubt it, 99. That would be un-British.”
6
Max, 99 and von BOOM entered the crowded airport terminal and started toward the ticket desk. But Max suddenly stopped.
“Let’s not forget, 99,” he said, “we’re back in civilization now. So watch out for KAOS agents. Don’t trust anyone. Remember Rule No. 26: Suspect First, Think Later!”
“That’s Rule No. 24, Max. No. 26 is: Don’t Hold Your Marshmallow Too Close to the Hot Coals.”
Max looked at her doubtfully. “I’ve never heard that, 99. Isn’t that a little silly to be a rule for a secret agent?”
“Not if you’re on a cook-out and you have reason to think a KAOS agent has slipped you a booby-trapped marshmallow, Max.”
“I suppose not,” Max nodded.
“Is anybody going to get the tickets?” von BOOM asked.
“Will you let me direct this operation, Professor?” Max said. “I happen to have a lit-tle bit more experience at fleeing from KAOS than you do. You just stick to your science.”
“All right, then, what next?” von BOOM said.
“I’ll go get the tickets. You two wait right here.”
Max made his way through the crowd to the ticket counter. He addressed the clerk. “Three one-way tickets to Vladivostok,” he said. “That’s in Russia.”
“I know where it is,” the clerk, a young man, responded coolly. “I majored in Vladivostok in ticket school.”
“Sorry about that,” Max said. “I just wanted to be very specific. I didn’t want to end up with tickets to Vladivostok, Spain or Vladivostok, Nebraska. I find that if I’m very specific, I avoid making a lot of stupid mistakes.”
“One-way tickets, eh?” the clerk said. “You must be a secret agent. Planning to stay in Russia and spy a while?”
“No, just passing through,” Max replied. “And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention that secret agent business to anybody. It’s supposed to be a secret.”
“It’s all right,” the clerk replied, “I’m a secret agent, too. I’m the secret agent in charge of spotting secret agents entering Russia.”
“Oh. . nice to meet you,” Max nodded. “Now. . may I have those tickets?”
The young man detached three tickets from a roll, stamped them, then handed them to Max. “Keep one foot on the ground,” he said.
“Pardon?”
“I said, ‘Keep one foot on the ground.’ That’s the safest way to fly.”
“Oh. One more thing-where do we get the plane?”
“You go out to the end of the main runway and flap your arms and then fly straight north.”
“Ah. . could you explain that?” Max said.
“The plane took off two hours ago,” the young man replied. “There’s only one flight a day to Vladivostok. The next one isn’t until tomorrow. You better hurry if you want to catch up with today’s flight. It’s a jet. And they’re speedy as the dickens.”
