Never Knowing

rolled back.

“Man, that hits the spot.” He took a swill of his coffee and watched me as I nibbled my sandwich. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks a lot.”

He grinned, then his face turned serious.

“How you holding up? This is some heavy stuff you’ve got going on here.”

“I’m doing all right. But I’m putting in some serious couch time with my psychiatrist. Can I send the RCMP my receipts?” I smiled.

“There are resources you can apply for through the Victims of Crime Act. I’ll get you the forms. But I’m glad you’re talking to someone, Sara. This is a lot to deal with.”

“I just feel like it’s all on me, you know? I want to help, but most of all I just want this all to go away — I want my life back.”

“The sooner we catch him, the sooner that will happen. You did great last night.”

“I don’t know, Billy, I thought maybe I pushed too hard.”

“You backed off at the right time. ‘To a surrounded enemy, you must leave an escape.’”

“Huh?”

“It’s from The Art of War by Sun Tzu.”

I started to laugh. “Isn’t that from that movie with Michael Douglas?”

He shook his head. “Wall Street. I know, I know, I’m a cop cliche.” He smiled. “Sandy gives me a hard time about it too. In my defense, it’s the most successful book on military strategy ever written.”

“I’m not in the military!”

He laughed. “You don’t have to be. It’s just about strategy and applies to lots of things in life. I don’t go anywhere without a copy. You should check it out. It’ll help you deal with John.”

“It’s just so weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“Talking to him. In that one conversation he asked me more about my work than my real dad ever has.” I caught myself. “I guess he’s my real dad — I meant my adopted dad.”

Billy set his sandwich down and leaned forward, his eyes intense.

“Most killers don’t seem like killers, Sara. That’s what makes them so dangerous. You have to be careful not to—”

A tap on the sliding glass door sent our bodies jerking back in their seats. I spun around. Melanie was standing at the door with Moose in her arms. She must’ve come through the side gate. Billy was on his feet, his hand hovering near his sidearm.

“It’s my sister.”

His hand dropped. Melanie slid open the door and strolled in.

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Her smirk said it all. I knew my face was red, but I shot her an as-if look.

“Melanie, this is Billy. He’s…”

Billy jumped in. “Sara’s going to restore some furniture for me.”

“I see.” She leaned against the counter and reached for the jar of peanut butter. She stuck her finger into the jar and brought it to her mouth. As she licked the peanut butter off, she said, “What’s with the gun, Billy?”

Billy just grinned. “I’m an RCMP officer, so you better be nice to me.”

Melanie’s face said she’d love to be very nice to him.

I said, “We were just wrapping up. I’ll walk you out, Billy. Melanie, grab a cup of coffee.” She nodded, but her eyes were on Billy.

Outside, I said, “Sorry about that, my sister…” I shook my head. “We don’t get along — like at all.”

He grinned and shrugged. “No biggie. Just stick with the cover and it should be fine.” His face turned serious. “When John calls again, remember he doesn’t really care about you, Sara. This is a man who takes what he wants, and he thinks you belong to him.”

Melanie was waiting by the front door. “Evan know you’re hanging out with hot cops?”

“He knows about all my clients. What are you doing here, Melanie?”

“I’m not allowed to come visit my big sister?”

She sauntered into the living room and sprawled on the couch. Moose hurled himself on top of her and licked her face as she scratched his head. Traitor.

“I have to get back to work. What’s up?” I remembered my cell was on the kitchen table. Please don’t let John call.

“Dad wants us to talk before Brandon’s birthday party on Saturday. He said we have to get along. Mom’s not feeling well.” Her chin jutted out at an angry slant. With everything happening I forgot Lauren was having a party for Brandon, and I hated to hear Mom was sick again, but I wasn’t about to share either fact.

I waited her out.

She said, “I never told that Web site your real father’s a serial killer, you know.”

“I didn’t really think you did — I was just upset.”

“Yeah, right.”

I sighed. “I didn’t, Melanie.” Her face was stony and I knew there was no way I could ask if she’d told her boyfriend — she’d take my head off. “Just tell Dad we worked everything out.”

“Sure. If that’s how you want to play it.”

“I’m not playing.” I wanted her out of the house fast. “I believe you. I do, okay? I’m sorry I overreacted.”

Her eyes narrowed.

I said, “So how’s Kyle?”

She was watching me. I forced myself to keep an interested look on my face.

“He just got a regular gig at the pub.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

We stared at each other.

I said, “So … listen, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Evan about Kyle playing at the wedding, but I will when he gets home.”

Melanie sat straight up on the couch. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just trying to get along with you, okay?”

“Why?”

“Because we’re sisters.”

“You’re never this nice. Are you worried I’m going to tell Evan about the cop?”

I stared at her. My hands itched to smack the smirk off her face.

Don’t take the bait, don’t take the bait.

I said, “I really should get back out to the shop.”

She stood up. “Don’t worry, I’m going. So when are we supposed to do this bridesmaid-dress-shopping thing?” Lauren and Melanie are my bridesmaids and Evan’s two younger brothers are his best men. Lauren and I have been talking about a shopping trip for a while, but I put it off because of John and because I dread having to deal with Melanie’s attitude. Every fiber of my being wants to tell her she isn’t in the wedding party anymore, but I know that’s exactly what she wants.

“I’m not sure yet,” I said. “I’ll let you know as soon as possible.”

“Whatever.”

I stood up and followed her out of the living room but stopped near the door to the garage. She was almost through the kitchen and at the sliding glass door where she’d left her shoes when the cell rang on the table. She paused and turned around.

I lunged toward the phone, almost knocking a chair over.

A number I didn’t recognize. It had to be John.