Septimus: (Taking the letter) Invariably. Thank you. That is enough education for today.
thomasina: There. I have made him like the Baptist in the wilderness.
Septimus: How picturesque.
(LADY CROOM is heard calling distantly for THOMASINA who runs off into the garden, cheerfully, an uncomplicated girl. SEPTIMUS opens Mrs Chater9s note. He crumples the envelope and throws it away. He reads the note, folds it and inserts it into the pages of'The Couch of Eros9.)
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SCENE TWO
The lights come up on the same room, on the same sort of morning, in the present day, as is instantly clear from the appearance of HANNAH jarvis; and from nothing else.
Something needs to be said about this. The action of the play shuttles back and forth between the early nineteenth century and the present day, always in this same room. Both periods must share the state of the room, without the additions and subtractions which would normally be expected. The general appearance of the room should offend neither period. In the case of props - books, paper, flowers, etc., there is no absolute need to remove the evidence of one period to make way for another. However, books, etc., used in both periods should exist in both old and new versions. The landscape outside, we are told, has undergone changes. Again, what we see should neither change nor contradict.
On the above principle, the ink and pens etc., of the first scene can remain. Books and papers associated with Hannah's research, in Scene Two, can have been on the table from the beginning of the play. And so on. During the course of the play the table collects this and that, and where an object from one scene would be an anachronism in another (say a coffee mug) it is simply deemed to have become invisible. By the end of the play the table has collected an inventory of objects.
HANNAH is leafing through the pages ofMrNoakes's sketch book. Also to hand, opened and closed, are a number of small volumes like diaries (these turn out to be Lady Groom's 'garden books'). After a few moments, HANNAH takes the sketch book to the windows, comparing the view with what has been drawn, and then she replaces the sketch book on the reading stand.
She wears nothing frivolous. Her shoes are suitable for the garden, which is where she goes now after picking up the theodolite from the table. The room is empty for a few moments.
One of the other doors opens to admit CHLOfi and BERNARD. She is the daughter of the house and is dressed casually. BERNARD, the visitor, wears a suit and a tie. His tendency is to dress flamboyantly,
15
but he has damped it down for the occasion, slightly. A peacock-coloured display handkerchief boils over in his breastpocket. He carries a capacious leather bag which serves as a briefcase. chloE: Oh! Well, she was here ... BERNARD: Ah. . . the french window .. . chloE: Yes. Hang on.
(CHLOE steps out through the garden door and disappears from view. BERNARD hangs on. The second door opens and VALENTINE looksin.)
valentine: Sod.
(valentine goes out again, closing the door. chloE returns,
carrying a pair of rubber boots. She comes in and sits down and
starts exchanging her shoes for the boots, while she talks.) chloE: The best thing is, you wait here, save you tramping
around. She spends a good deal of time in the garden, as you
may imagine. Bernard: Yes. Why? chloE: Well, she's writing a history of the garden, didn't you
know? Bernard: No, I knew she was working on the Croom papers
but... chloE: Well, it's not exactly a history of the garden either. I'll let
Hannah explain it. The trench you nearly drove into is all to
do with it. I was going to say make yourself comfortable but
that's hardly possible, everything's been cleared out, it's en
route to the nearest lavatory. Bernard: Everything is?
chloE: No, this room is. They drew the line at chemical 'Ladies''. Bernard: Yes, I see. Did you say Hannah? chloE: Hannah, yes. Will you be all right?
(She stands up wearing the boots.)
I won't be. . . (But she has lost him.) Mr Nightingale? Bernard: (Waking up) Yes. Thank you. Miss Jarvis is Hannah
Jarvis the author? chloE: Yes. Have you read her book? Bernard: Oh, yes. Yes. chloE: I bet she's in the hermitage, can't see from here with the
marquee. . .
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Bernard: Are you having a garden party?
chloE: A dance for the district, our annual dressing up and general drunkenness. The wrinklies won't have it in the house, there was a teapot we once had to bag back from Christie's in the nick of time, so anything that can be destroyed, stolen or vomited on has been tactfully removed; tactlessly, I should say -(She is about to leave.)
Bernard: Um - look - would you tell her - would you mind not mentioning my name just yet?
chloE: Oh. All right.
Bernard: (Smiling) More fun to surprise her. Would you mind?
chloE: No. But she's bound to ask . .. Should I give you another name, just for the moment?
Bernard: Yes, why not?
chloE: Perhaps another bird, you're not really a Nightingale. (She leaves again. BERNARD glances over the books on the table. He puts his briefcase down. There is the distant pop-pop of a shotgun. It takes BERNARD vaguely to the window. He looks out. The door he entered by now opens and GUS looks into the room. Bernard turns and sees him.)
Bernard: Hello.
(GUS doesn't speak. He never speaks. Perhaps he cannot speak. He has no composure, and faced with a stranger, he caves in and leaves again. A moment later the other door opens again and valentine crosses the room, not exactly ignoring Bernard and yet ignoring him.)
valentine: Sod, sod, sod, sod, sod, sod . . . (As many times as it takes him to leave by the opposite door, which he closes behind him. Beyond it, he can be heard shouting. Chlo! Chlo! Bernard's discomfort increases. The same door opens and valentine returns. He looks at Bernard.)
Bernard: She's in the garden looking for Miss Jarvis.
valentine: Where is everything?
Bernard: It's been removed for the, er . . .
valentine: The dance is all in the tent, isn't it?
Bernard: Yes, but this is the way to the nearest toilet.
valentine: I need the commode.
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Bernard: Oh. Can't you use the toilet?
valentine: It's got all the game books in it.
Bernard: Ah. The toilet has or the commode has?
valentine: Is anyone looking after you?
Bernard: Yes. Thank you. I'm Bernard Nigh— I've come to see
Miss Jarvis. I wrote to Lord Croom but unfortunately I
never received a reply, so I -valentine: Did you type it? BERNARD: Type it?
valentine: Was your letter typewritten? Bernard: Yes. valentine: My father never replies to typewritten letters.
{He spots a tortoise which has been half-hidden on the table.)
Oh! Where have you been hiding, Lightning? {He picks up
the tortoise.) Bernard: So I telephoned yesterday and I think I spoke to you -valentine: To me? Ah! Yes! Sorry! You're doing a talk about -
