MRS WARREN'S PROFESSION, ACT 1 / 1773
up a restoration fund and had it completely rebuilt six years ago. Praed will
be able to shew its points. PRAED [Rising.] Certainly, if the restoration has left any to shew. REV. SAMUEL [Mooning hos-pitably at them..] I shall be pleased, I'm sure, if Sir
George and Mrs Warren really care about it. MRS WARREN Oh, come along and get it over. CROFTS [Turning back towards the gate.] Ive no objection. REV. SAMUEL Not that way. We go through the fields, if you dont mind. Round
here. [He leads the way by the little path through the box hedge.]
CROFTS Oh, all right. [He goes with the parson.] [PRAED follows with MRS WARREN, VTVIE does not stir: she watches them until they have gone, with all the lines of purpose in her face marking it strongly.]
FRANK Aint you coming?
VIVIE NO. I want to give you a warning, Frank. You were making fun of my mother just now when you said that about the rectory garden. That is barred in future. Please treat my mother with as much respect as you treat your own.
FRANK My dear Viv: she wouldnt appreciate it: the two cases require different treatment. But what on earth has happened to you? Last night we were perfectly agreed as to your mother and her set. This morning I find you attitudinizing sentimentally with your arm round your parent's waist.
VTVIE [Flushing.] Attitudinizing! FRANK That was how it struck me. First time I ever saw you do a second- rate thing. VIVTE [Controlling herself] Yes, Frank: there has been a change; but I dont
think it a change for the worse. Yesterday I was a little prig. FRANK And today? VIVIE [Wincing; then looking at him steadily.] Today I know my mother better
than you do. FRANK Heaven forbid! VTVIE What do you mean? FRANK Viv: theres a freemasonry4 among thoroughly immoral people that you
know nothing of. Youve too much character. Thats the bond between your mother and me: thats why I know her better than youll ever know her. VIVIE You are wrong: you know nothing about her. If you knew the circumstances against which my mother had to struggle?
FRANK [Adroitly finishing the sentence for her. ] I should know why she is what she is, shouldnt I? What difference would that make? Circumstances or no circumstances, Viv, you wont be able to stand your mother.
VTVIE [Very angrily.] Why not?
FRANK Because she's an old wretch, Viv. If you ever put your arm round her waist in my presence again, I'll shoot myself there and then as a protest against an exhibition which revolts me.
VTVIE Must I choose between dropping your acquaintance and dropping my mother's?
FRANK [Gracefully.] That would put the old lady at ever such a disadvantage. No, Viv: your infatuated little boy will have to stick to you in any case. But he's all the more anxious that you shouldnt make mistakes. It's no use, Viv:
4. A secret understanding.
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1 177 4 / BERNARD SHAW
your mother's impossible. She may be a good sort; but she's a bad lot, a very bad lot.
VRVIE [Hotly.] Frank?! [He stands his ground. She turns away and sits down on the bench under the yew tree, struggling to recover her self-command. Then she says] Is she to be deserted by all the world because she's what you call a bad lot? Has she no right to live?
FRANK No fear of that, Viv: she wont ever be deserted. [He sits on the bench beside her.]
VIVIE But I am to desert her, I suppose.
FRANK [Babyishly, lulling her and making love to her with his voice.] Mustnt go live with her. Little family group of mother and daughter wouldnt be a success. Spoil our little group.
VTVIE [Falling under the spell.] What little group? FRANK The babes in the wood:5 Vivie and little Frank. [He nestles against her like a weary child.] Lets go and get covered up with leaves. VTVIE [Rhythmically, rocking him like a nurse.] Fast asleep, hand in hand,
under the trees. FRANK The wise little girl with her silly little boy. VIVIE The dear little boy with his dowdy little girl. FRANK Ever so peaceful, and relieved from the imbecility of the little boy's
father and the questionableness of the little girl's?
VIVIE [Smothering the word against her breast.] Sh-sh-sh-sh! little girl wants to forget all about her mother. [They are silent for some moments, rocking one another. Then VTVIE wakes up with a shock, exclaiming] What a pair of fools we are! Come: sit up. Gracious! your hair. [She smoothes it.] I wonder do all grown up people play in that childish way when nobody is looking. I never did it when I was a child.
FRANK Neither did I. You are my first playmate. [He catches her hand to kiss it, but checks himself to look round first. Very unexpectedly, he sees CROFTS emerging from the box hedge.] Oh damn!
VTVIE Why damn, dear? FRANK [Whispering.] Sh! Here's this brute Crofts. [He sits farther away from her with an unconcerned air.]
CROFTS. Could I have a few words with you, Miss Vivie? VIVIE Certainly. CROFTS [To FRANK.] Youll excuse me, Gardner. Theyre waiting for you in the
church, if you don't mind.
FRANK [Rising.] Anything to oblige you, Crofts?except church. If you should happen to want me, Viwums, ring the gate bell. [He goes into the house with unruffled suavity.]
