CROFTS [Watching him with a crafty air as he disappears, and speaking to VIVIE with an assumption of being on privileged terms with her.] Pleasant young fellow that, Miss Vivie. Pity he has no money, isnt it?
VTVIE DO you think so? CROFTS Well, whats he to do? No profession. No property. Whats he good for? VIVIE I realize his disadvantages, Sir George.
5. Frank refers to the story of a brother and sister Based on an incident in 16th-century Norfolk, the who are abandoned by their cruel uncle in the tale was first popularized as a ballad, and then in woods, then covered with leaves by the birds. nursery stories and pantomimes.
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MRS WARREN'S PROFESSION, ACT 1 / 1775
CROFTS [A little taken aback at being so -precisely interpreted.] Oh, it's not that. But while we're in this world we're in it; and money's money. [Vivie does not answer.] Nice day, isnt it?
VTVIE [With scarcely veiled contempt for this effort at conversation.] Very.
CROFTS [With brutal good humor, as if he liked her pluck.] Well, thats not what I came to say. [Sitting down beside her.] Now listen, Miss Vivie. I'm quite aware that I'm not a young lady's man.
VTVIE Indeed, Sir George?
CROFTS No; and to tell you the honest truth I dont want to be either. But when I say a thing I mean it; when I feel a sentiment I feel it in earnest; and what I value I pay hard money for. Thats the sort of man I am.
VTVIE It does you great credit, I'm sure.
CROFTS Oh, I dont mean to praise myself. I have my faults, Heaven knows: no man is more sensible of that than I am. I know I'm not perfect: thats one of the disadvantages of being a middle-aged man; for I'm not a young man, and I know it. But my code is a simple one, and, I think, a good one. Honor between man and man; fidelity between man and woman; and no cant about this religion or that religion, but an honest belief that things are making for good on the whole.
VTVIE [With biting irony.] 'A power, not ourselves, that makes for righteousness,' eh?6 CROFTS [Taking her seriously.] Oh certainly. Not ourselves, of course. You understand what I mean. Well, now as to practical matters. You may have an idea that Ive flung my money about; but I havnt: I'm richer today than when I first came into the property. Ive used my knowledge of the world to invest my money in ways that other men have overlooked; and whatever else I may be, I'm a safe man from the money point of view. VIVIE It's very kind of you to tell me all this. CROFTS Oh well, come, Miss Vivie: you neednt pretend you dont see what I'm driving at. I want to settle down with a Lady Crofts. I suppose you think me very blunt, eh?
VIVIE Not at all: I am much obliged to you for being so definite and businesslike. I quite appreciate the offer: the money, the position, LadyCrofts , and so on. But I think I will say no, if you dont mind. I'd rather not. [She rises, and strolls across to the sundial to get out of his immediate neighborhood.] CROFTS [Not at all discouraged, and taking advantage of the additional room left him on the seat to spread himself comfortably, as if a few preliminary refusals were part of the inevitable routine of courtship.] I'm in no hurry. It was only just to let you know in case young Gardner should try to trap you. Leave the question open. VTVIE [Sharply.] My no is final. I wont go back from it. [CROFTS is not impressed. He grins; leans forward with his elbows on his knees to prod with his stick at some unfortunate insect in the grass; and looks cunningly at her. She turns away impatiently.] CROFTS I'm a good deal older than you. Twenty-five years; quarter of a century. I shant live for ever; and I'll take care that you shall be well off when I'm gone.
6. Vivie refers to Matthew Arnold's much-quoted words: 'an abstract, an eternal power, or only a stream of tendency, not ourselves, and making for righteousness' (Literature and Dogma [1873], chap. 1).
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1 177 6 / BERNARD SHAW
VTVIE I am proof against even that inducement, Sir George. Dont you think youd better take your answer? There is not the slightest chance of my altering it. CROFTS [Rising after a final slash at a daisy, and coming nearer to her.] Well, no matter. I could tell you some things that would change your mind fast enough; but I wont, because I'd rather win you by honest affection. I was a good friend to your mother: ask her whether I wasnt. She'd never have made the money that paid for your education if it hadnt been for my advice and help, not to mention the money I advanced her. There are not many men would have stood by her as I have. I put not less than .40,000 into it, from first to last. VTVIE [Staring at him.] Do you mean to say you were my mother's business partner? CROFTS Yes. Now just think of all the trouble and the explanations it would save if we were to keep the whole thing in the family, so to speak. Ask your mother whether she'd like to have to explain all her affairs to a perfect stranger. VTVIE I see no difficulty, since I understand that the business is wound up, and the money invested. CROFTS [Stopping short, amazed.] Wound up! Wind up a business thats paying 35 per cent in the worst years! Not likely. Who told you that? VIVIE [Her color quite gone.] Do you mean that it is still?? [She stops abruptly, and puts her hand on the sundial to support herself. Then she gets quickly to the iron chair and sits down.] What business are you talking about? CROFTS Well, the fact is it's not what would be considered exactly a high- class business in my set?the county set, you know?our set it will be if you think better of my offer. Not that theres any mystery about it: dont think that. Of course you know by your mother's being in it that it's perfectly straight and honest. Ive known her for many years; and I can say of her that she'd cut off her hands sooner than touch anything that was not what it ought to be. I'll tell you all about it if you like. I dont know whether youve found in travelling how hard it is to find a really comfortable private hotel. VIVIE [Sickened, averting her face.] Yes: go on. CROFTS Well, thats all it is. Your mother has a genius for managing such things. We've got two in Brussels, one in Ostend, one in Vienna, and two in Budapest. Of course there are others besides ourselves in it; but we hold most of the capital; and your mother's indispensable as managing director. Youve noticed, I daresay, that she travels a good deal. But you see you cant mention such things in society. Once let out the word hotel and everybody says you keep a public-house.7 You wouldnt like people to say that of your mother, would you? Thats why we're so reserved about it. By the way, youll keep it to yourself, wont you? Since it's been a secret so long, it had better remain so. VTVIE And this is the business you invite me to join you in? CROFTS Oh, no. My wife shant be troubled with business. Youll not be in it more than youve always been. VTVIE I always been! What do you mean? CROFTS Only that youve always lived on it. It paid for your education and the
7. I.e., a bar.
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MRS WARREN'S PROFESSION, ACT 1 / 1777
dress you have on your back. Dont turn up your nose at business, Miss
