remembered that this was in the days of serfdom] telling her at the same
time that, whether she continued to serve in the household or not, she
should always receive an annual pension of 300 roubles. Natalia listened
in silence to this. Then, taking the document in her hands and regarding
it with a frown, she muttered something between her teeth, and darted
from the room, slamming the door behind her. Not understanding the
reason for such strange conduct, Mamma followed her presently to her
room, and found her sitting with streaming eyes on her trunk, crushing
her pocket-handkerchief between her fingers, and looking mournfully
at the remains of the document, which was lying torn to pieces on the
floor.
'What is the matter, dear Natalia Savishna?' said Mamma, taking her
hand.
'Nothing, ma'am,' she replied; 'only--only I must have displeased you
somehow, since you wish to dismiss me from the house. Well, I will go.'
She withdrew her hand and, with difficulty restraining her tears, rose
to leave the room, but Mamma stopped her, and they wept a while in one
another's arms.
Ever since I can remember anything I can remember Natalia Savishna and
her love and tenderness; yet only now have I learnt to appreciate them
at their full value. In early days it never occurred to me to think what
a rare and wonderful being this old domestic was. Not only did she never
talk, but she seemed never even to think, of herself. Her whole life
was compounded of love and self-sacrifice. Yet so used was I to her
affection and singleness of heart that I could not picture things
otherwise. I never thought of thanking her, or of asking myself, 'Is she
also happy? Is she also contented?' Often on some pretext or another I
would leave my lessons and run to her room, where, sitting down, I
would begin to muse aloud as though she were not there. She was forever
mending something, or tidying the shelves which lined her room,
or marking linen, so that she took no heed of the nonsense which I
talked--how that I meant to become a general, to marry a beautiful
woman, to buy a chestnut horse, to, build myself a house of glass, to
invite Karl Ivanitch's relatives to come and visit me from Saxony, and
so forth; to all of which she would only reply, 'Yes, my love, yes.'
Then, on my rising, and preparing to go, she would open a blue trunk
which had pasted on the inside of its lid a coloured picture of a hussar
which had once adorned a pomade bottle and a sketch made by Woloda, and
take from it a fumigation pastille, which she would light and shake for
my benefit, saying:
'These, dear, are the pastilles which your grandfather (now in Heaven)
brought back from Otchakov after fighting against the Turks.' Then she
would add with a sigh: 'But this is nearly the last one.'
The trunks which filled her room seemed to contain almost everything in
the world. Whenever anything was wanted, people said, 'Oh, go and ask
Natalia Savishna for it,' and, sure enough, it was seldom that she did
not produce the object required and say, 'See what comes of taking care
of everything!' Her trunks contained thousands of things which nobody in
the house but herself would have thought of preserving.
Once I lost my temper with her. This was how it happened.
One day after luncheon I poured myself out a glass of kvass, and then
dropped the decanter, and so stained the tablecloth.
'Go and call Natalia, that she may come and see what her darling has
done,' said Mamma.
Natalia arrived, and shook her head at me when she saw the damage I had
done; but Mamma whispered something in her car, threw a look at myself,
