A Month in the Country

he wouldn't go straight in, and insisted on taking another turn?

BOLSHINTSOV. That's so ... but all the same, mushrooms. ... I don't know, may be I'm mistaken....

SHPIGELSKY. You certainly are, my dear fellow. I'll tell you what you'd better be thinking about. You see we've come here . . . done as you wished. Look out now and don't make a mess of it.

BOLSHINTSOV. But, Ignaty Ilyitch, you know you. . . . You told me, I mean ... I should like to know for certain what answer . . .

SHPIGELSKY. My honoured friend! It's reckoned over fifteen miles from your place here; at least three times every mile you put that very question to me. . . . Isn't that enough for you? Now listen; but this is the last time I give way to you. This is what Natalya Petrovna said to me: 'I . . .'

BOLSHINTSOV [nodding]. Yes.

SHPIGELSKY [with annoyance]. Yes! Why, what do you mean by 'yes'? I've told you nothing yet. ... 'I don't know,' says she, 'Mr. Bolshintsov very well, but he seems to me a good man; on the other hand, I don't intend to force Vera's inclinations; and so, let him visit us, and if he wins . . .'

BOLSHINTSOV. Wins? She said 'wins'?

SHPIGELSKY. 'If he wins her affections, Anna Semyon-ovna and I will not oppose . ..'

BOLSHINTSOV. Will not oppose? Is that what she said? Will not oppose?

SHPIGELSKY. Yes, yes, yes. What a queer fellow you are! 'We will not oppose their happiness.'

BOLSHINTSOV. Hm.

SHPIGELSKY. 'Their happiness.' . . . Yes, but observe, Afanasy Ivanitch, what your task is now. . . . You have now to persuade Vera Alexandrovna herself that marrying you really will be happiness for her; you have to win her affection.

BOLSHINTSOV [blinking]. Yes, yes, win . . . exactly so. I agree with you.

SHPIGELSKY. You insisted on my bringing you here. .. . Well, let's see how you will act.

BOLSHINTSOV. Act? Yes, yes, we must act, we must win . . . exactly so. Only you see, Ignaty Ilyitch . . . May I confess, admit to you, as to my best friend, one of my weaknesses: I did, as you truly say, wish you to bring me here to-day. . . .

SHPIGELSKY. You didn't wish it, you insisted, absolutely insisted on it....

BOLSHINTSOV. Oh, well, we'll grant that. ... I agree with you. But you see ... at home ... I certainly .,. at home I felt I was ready for anything; but now you know I feel overcome with fears.

SHPIGELSKY. But what are you afraid of?

BOLSHINTSOV [glancing at him from under his brows]. The risk, sir.

SHPIGELSKY. Wha-at?

BOLSHINTSOV. The risk. There's a great risk. I must, Ignaty Ilyitch, I must confess to you that. . .

SHPIGELSKY [interrupting him]. As to 'your best friend.' We know all about it. ... Get on. ...

BOLSHINTSOV. Exactly so. ... I agree with you. I must confess to you, Ignaty Ilyitch, that I have had very little to do with ladies, with the female sex, in general, if I may say so; I will confess frankly, Ignaty Ilyitch, that I simply can't imagine what one can talk about to a person of the female sex--and alone with her too . . . and especially a young lady.

SHPIGELSKY. You surprise me. I really don't know what one can't talk about to a person of the female sex, especially a young lady, and particularly alone with her.

BOLSHINTSOV. Oh . .. you . .. Good gracious, but I'm not you. So you see it's just in this case I want to appeal to you, Ignaty Ilyitch. They say that in these affairs it's the first step that counts, so couldn't you just ... to give me a start in the conversation . . . tell me of something to say, something agreeable in the way, for instance, of an observation ... and then I can get along. After that I could manage somehow by myself.

SHPIGELSKY. I won't tell you anything to say, Afanasy Ivanovitch, because nothing I could tell you would be of any use to you . . . but I will give you some advice if you like.

BOLSHINTSOV. My dear sir, pray do. ... And as to my gratitude . . . you know . . .

SHPIGELSKY. Oh, come, come, I'm not bargaining with you, am I?

BOLSHINTSOV [dropping his voice]. You can reckon on the three horses.

SHPIGELSKY. Oh, that will do. ... You see, Afanasy Ivanovitch . . . You are unquestionably a capital fellow in every respect . . . [BOLSHINTSOV makes a slight bow] a man of excellent qualities. . . .

BOLSHINTSOV. Oh dear!

SHPIGELSKY. You are, besides, the owner, I believe, of three hundred serfs.

BOLSHINTSOV. Three hundred and twenty, sir.

SHPIGELSKY. Not mortgaged?

BOLSHINTSOV. I owe nobody a farthing.

SHPIGELSKY. There you are. I've been telling you, you're an excellent man and the most eligible of suitors. But you say yourself you've had very little to do with ladies. ...

BOLSHINTSOV [with a sigh]. That's just so. I may say, Ignaty Ilyitch, I've avoided the female sex from a child.

SHPIGELSKY [with a sigh]. Quite so. That's not a vice in a husband; quite the contrary; but still in certain circumstances, at the first declaration of love, for instance, it is essential to be able to say something. . . isn't it?

BOLSHINTSOV. I quite agree with you.

SHPIGELSKY. Or else, you know, Vera Alexandrovna may simply suppose that you feel unwell--and nothing more. Besides, though your exterior figure is also perfectly presentable in all respects, it does not offer any feature very striking at first sight... not at first sight, you know, and that's what's wanted in this case.

BOLSHINTSOV [with a sigh]. That's what's wanted in this case.

SHPIGELSKY. Young ladies are attracted by it, anyway. And then, your age too ... in fact, it's not for you and me to try to please. And so it's no good for you to think of agreeable remarks. That's a poor thing to depend on. But you have something else to count upon, far firmer and more reliable, and that's virtues, my dear Afanasy Ivanovitch, and your three hundred and twenty serfs. In your place I should simply say to Vera Alexandrovna . . .

BOLSHINTSOV. Alone with her?

SHPIGELSKY. Oh, of course, alone with her! 'Vera Alexandrovna!' [From the movement of BOLSHINTSOV'S lips it is evident that he is repeating in a whisper every word after SHPIGELSKY.] 'I love you and ask your hand in marriage. I'm a kind-hearted, good-natured, harmless man and I'm not poor. You will be perfectly free with me; I will do my best to please you in every way. And I beg you to find out about me, to take a little more notice of me than you have done hitherto, and to give me an answer as you please and when you please. I am ready to wait and shall consider it a pleasure to do so.'

BOLSHINTSOV [uttering the last words aloud]. To do so! Yes, yes, yes. ... I quite agree with you. Only I tell you what, Ignaty Ilyitch; I believe you used the word 'harmless.' . . . You said a harmless man. . . .

SHPIGELSKY. Well, aren't you a harmless man?

BOLSHINTSOV. Ye-e-es . . . but still I fancy. . . . Will it be the right thing, Ignaty Ilyitch? Wouldn't it be better to say, for instance? . . .

SHPIGELSKY. For instance?

BOLSHINTSOV. For instance ... for instance. ... [A pause.] But maybe 'harmless' will do.

SHPIGELSKY. Now, Afanasy Ivanovitch, you listen to me; the more simply you express yourself, the plainer your words, the better it will go, trust me. And above all, don't be too pressing, Afanasy Ivanovitch. Vera Alexandrovna is very young; you may scare her. . . . Give her time to think over your offer. Avoid fine words and I guarantee your success. [Looking round] Why, here they are all coming too------ [BOLSHINTSOV wants to make off] Where are you going? To pick mushrooms again? [BOLSHINTSOV smiles, turns red and remains] The great thing is not to be scared!

BOLSHINTSOV [hurriedly], Vera Alexandrovna knows nothing about it yet, does she?

SHPIGELSKY. I should think not!