sunglasses on her head and looks hassled. “Reverend Fox! Did you get my email?”
“Yes, Lucinda,” says Reverend Fox wearily. “I did. I’m afraid the church pillars cannot be sprayed silver under any circumstances.”
Lucinda stops dead, and a bolt of gray silk starts unraveling, all the way down the aisle.
“They
“Don’t worry, Lucinda, dear,” says Wanda, swooping down on her fondly. “I’m sure you’re doing a
“Oh, she’s fine.” Lucinda waves a hand. “Not that I ever see her. I’m up to my
“I’ve booked the cars, by the way,” I say quickly. “All done. And the confetti. I was also wondering, shall I book some rosebuds for the ushers’ buttonholes?”
“If you could,” she says a little tetchily. “I would appreciate it.” She looks up and seems to take me in properly for the first time. “Oh, Poppy.
She pulls out the emerald ring and holds it out. I’m so blindsided, all I can do is blink.
The real ring. My real, vintage, priceless emerald engagement ring. Right there, in front of my eyes.
How did she—
What the hell—
I can’t bring myself to look at anybody else. Even so, I’m aware of glances of astonishment all around me, crisscrossing like laser beams, moving from my fake ring to the real one and back again.
“I don’t quite understand—” begins Paul at last.
“What’s up, everyone?” Magnus is striding up the aisle, taking in the tableau. “Someone seen a ghost? The Holy Ghost?” He laughs at his own joke, but no one joins in.
“If
My throat is so tight I can hardly breathe. Somehow I have to save this situation. Somehow.
“Yes! I …
I look at her desperately, willing her to go along with this. Thankfully she seems to have realized what a faux pas she’s committed.
“Yes!” she joins in quickly. “That’s right. I borrowed the ring for … for—”
“—for design reasons.”
“Yes! We thought the ring could be inspiration for—”
“—the napkin rings,” I grasp from nowhere. “Emerald napkin rings! Which we
There’s silence. I pluck up the courage to look around.
Wanda’s face is creased deeply with a frown. Magnus looks perplexed. Paul has taken a step backward from the group, as though to say, “Nothing to do with me.”
“So thanks very much.” I take the ring from Lucinda with trembling hands. “I’ll just … put that back on.”
I’ve crashed onto the far bank and am clinging to the grass. Made it. Thank God.
But as I rip the fake ring off, drop it into my bag, and slide the real thing on, my mind is in overdrive. How come Lucinda had the ring? What about Mrs. Fairfax? What the fuck is going
“
I stare at him, desperately trying to think. Why would I have gone to all the trouble and expense of making a fake ring?
“Because I thought it would be nice to have two,” I venture feebly after a pause.
Oh God. No.
“You wanted
“Well, I hope that desire won’t apply to your husband as well as your engagement ring!” Antony says, with heavy humor. “Eh, Magnus?”
“Ha-ha-ha!” I give a loud, sycophantic laugh. “Ha-ha-ha! Very good! Anyway.” I turn to Reverend Fox, trying to hide my desperation. “Shall we crack on?”
Half an hour later, my legs are still shaking. I’ve never experienced such a near-miss in my life. I’m not sure Wanda believes me. She keeps shooting me suspicious looks, plus she’s asked me how much the replica ring cost and where I had it made, and all sorts of questions I really didn’t want to answer.
What does she think? That I was going to sell the original or something?
We’ve practiced me coming up the aisle, and going back down the aisle together, and worked out where we’ll kneel and sign the register. And now the vicar has suggested a run-through of the vows.