The Walrus and the Warwolf

over this woman. For, as the Court's heard tell, in Selzirk I went seeking my woman from Muck.

'Aye. And might have got her back, except I was arrested on false charges, for which I've since been pardoned. Arrested. Thrown into a dungeon. No light, no air, no food, no water. Darkness. Rats. Chains. Terror. Torture. Day on day unyielding. Only one thing kept me alive, and that were thinking of my fair pure Zanya.'

Mention of purity naturally brought to mind the question of appetite. How to deal with that one?

Speak from the heart, man. Things are getting too complicated. No time for more lies. So speak from the heart.'Zanya. Yes.T lusted for her. That I'll not deny.

'My lust, in part, was frankly carnal. Sometimes women are insulted by such lust, for lust is an appetite, so some think that to be lusted for is to be devoured, as a dead fish is devoured at table. But one does not go chest to chest with a monster for the sake of a dead fish. Nay. Even a starving man would not duel it out with a monster for a dead fish.

'Together with my lust was my love also. It was love which made me fight that monster. Love at first sight.

'Sometimes I'm right hungry, man, and I sit down at table with my friends. Like animals we go at it, aye, teeth, lips, tongue, in and out, sweat, saliva – a regular meal for our hunger. But when it's over, we don't look on each other with disgust. For we're friends, yes, and to share the meal of our appetites is but to share bur friendship, aye, our very love for each other.

'That's why we eat together at table, instead of satisfying our hungers in squalid solitude, one in each corner alone. And … is not the hunger mutual?'

Then Drake looked at Zanya, looked long and with longing, saying nothing. Until finally Judge Syrphus, puzzled, said:

'The accused seems to have lost the thread of his argument. Has he anything further to say to the Court reference the testimony of Gouda Muck?'

'Nothing, my lord judge,' said Drake, still gazing on Zanya, 'for I have spoken my heart out, and have nothing more to say.'

'Then let the prosecutor call his next witness,' said the judge.

And the prosecutor called Zanya Kliedervaust to the witness stand.

54

Name: Zanya Kliedervaust.

Description: healthy high-breasted woman, red skin, red hair, white teeth.

Birthplace: Unch, on Lebrew (largest of the Ebrell Islands).

Career: priestess of Orgy God of the Ebrells; convert to Goudanism; missionary to Parengarenga; martyr in Dalar ken Halvar; survivor in Penvash; Drake's woman in Runcorn; Gouda Muck's mistress in Selzirk.

'In the witness stand is Zanya Kliedervaust, formerly of the Ebrell Islands,' said the prosecutor. 'She will shortly give testimony which will doom the evil Drake Douay to a living death in the deepest, darkest, filthiest rat- infested dungeon we can find for him.

'But before we hear her testimony, let me untangle the web woven by Drake Douay for public display. He has posed as a poor, meek, ignorant apprentice. But his own performance proves him shrewd, quick-witted, dangerously intelligent and amazingly cunning in cross-examination.

'This man could very well have been Arabin lol Arabin, behaving as described in The Book of Witness. There's nothing meek, mild or safe or law-abiding about him. Plainly, he's copied the style of an excellent lawyer. I put it to the Court that the lawyer in question was, in all

probability, the Garimanthea mentioned in The Book of Witness.

'The accused tries to dismiss that document because it says he read a single word from a certain Record. Now, four or five years ago, he may not have known the letter Ac0wa; from any other. But he's had time since to learn to read and write half a dozen different languages, if he chose.''Time, yes,' interjected Drake. 'But no opportunity.'

'Opportunity, surely,' said the prosecutor, 'to learn how to read one simple word like 'No.' In any case, The Book of Witness does not say Arabin lol Arabin read from the Record, only that he called attention to its contents. If the accused is indeed illiterate, then his lawyer could have told him what lay in the Record for him to call attention to.

'The accused would also have us believe he cried 'I am Arabin lol Arabin' when he meant to say something entirely different. Judge his perfomance today! Not one slip, pause, stammer or stutter. Not a single word out of place. This speaks of an accomplished orator – or an accomplished liar. Or of both.

'The accused has a highly trained mind. As Gouda Muck told us, the accused studied on Stokos, sharpening his wits by learning theory of all description by heart. How can we believe he'd let his tongue trip upside down when it came to saying a few simple words to a crowd? He speaks well – and the very eloquence which defends him condemns him.

'He said to the crowd that he was Arabin lol Arabin. Doubtless that was what he meant. So much for his rhetoric! Now to our witness. You are Zanya Kliedervaust, born on the Ebrells?''Iam,' she said.'What did you there?''I was priestess of the Orgy God.''What did that involve?''Being used by men in the way of lust.''And did you like that?'

'No. How could I? For they treated me as meat. What way is that to treat a woman? They were rough. They used cruel language. They bruised me. They did things which I would not like to speak of in Court, or out of it either.'

'Then we'll not ask you about such,' said the Prosecutor. 'Now. You first met Gouda Muck when?'

'When I travelled to Stokos, having left the Ebrells, for I was sick of the life there, which had killed out my family entire. Always drinking, fighting, feuding, gambling-'

'Yes, yes. But Muck. What reception did he give you, on Stokos?''Oh, it was wonderful,' said Zanya.

She described her conversion to Goudanism. She revelled in her memories of those glorious days. Muck had taught her a woman could be pure. Which meant being free from that horrible business of being bruised, used, rucked, fisted, slathered and taken – again and again and again. Then abandoned.

'So you converted to a religion of purity,' said the prosecutor. 'What then?'

T went to the world as a missionary. In time, I was martyred in the arena at Dalar ken Halvar. And there . . . as Drake said, he saved me.'

'At that time, did he strike you as meek, mild, pious and law-abiding?'

'Why, no,' said Zanya. 'He came like a hero. He killed monsters right and left. Then said words to me, marvellous words, which thrilled my blood. I can't remember what they were, but they were . . . yes, wonderful. Then we were whirled away by magic to the forests of Penvash.''What magic is this?' inquired Judge Syrphus.

Confused explanations followed, which did not entirely satisfy the Court. But there was no helping the lack of satisfaction, so the subject was dropped.

'And in Penvash,' said the prosecutor, 'did Drake treat you with purity?'

'Why,' said Zanya, 'he lay with me to keep me warm. But that was as far as it went.''By warmth,' said the prosecutor, thinking this was no time for euphemisms, 'I suppose you mean the vile, filthy, unholy ways of lust.'

'Well, no,' said Zanya, 'I mean it was cold, so two bodies were warmer than one.''Oh,' said the prosecutor, momentarily nonplussed.

The prosecutor, looking through his notes, started to wish his pretrial interview with this witness had not been so cursory.

'Are you sure,' said the prosecutor, 'that you're telling the truth? I mean – you were alone in the forest with this man. Wouldn't it be natural for him to force you? He was a pirate, after all. Could you have forgotten?'

'Perhaps you're in the habit of forgetting a rape,' said Zanya, 'but I'm not so casual about it.'

Laughter rocked the court. The prosecutor, flustered, dropped his notes. The judge called for order. And Zanya cast her mind back to those days in Penvash. Drake had not taken her then. No, not until they reached the