again.
Rather
than this,
he will
much
prefer to
choose
complete
nonexisten
ce.
_________________________
Members filed in for the penultimate meeting with
contrasting feelings: some felt sorrow about the looming
end of the group, some thought about personal work they
had left undone, some scanned Julius`s face as though to
imprint it in their minds, and all were enormously curious
about Pam`s response to Philip`s revelations of the previous
meeting.
But Pam did not offer satisfaction; instead she
extracted a sheet of paper from her purse, slowly unfolded
it, and read aloud:
A carpenter does not come up to me and say, «listen to
me discourse about the art of carpentry.» Instead he
makes a contract for a house and builds it.... Do the
same thing yourself: eat like a man; drink like a man....
get married, have children, take part in civic life, learn
how to put up with insults, and tolerate other people.
Then, turning to Philip, she said, «Written by...guess
who?»
Philip shrugged.
«Your man, Epictetus. That`s why I bring it here. I
know you revere him—you brought Julius one of his
fables. Why am I quoting him? I`m merely speaking to the
point raised by Tony and Stuart and others last week that
you`ve never been �in life.` I believe that you selectively
pick and choose various passages from philosophers to
support your position and—”
Gill interrupted, «Pam, this is our next–to–last
meeting. If this is another one of your get–Philip tirades, I
don`t personally feel I`ve got time for it. Do what you tell
me to do. Get real and talk about your feelings. You must
have had strong reactions to what Philip said about you last
meeting.»
«No, no, hear me out,” Pam said quickly. «This is not
вЂ?get–Philip` stuff. My motivations are different. The iron is
cooling. I`m trying to say something helpful to Philip. I
think he`s compounded his life avoidance by selectively
gathering support from philosophy. He draws from
Epictetus when he needs him and overlooks the same
Epictetus when he doesn`t.»
«That`s a great point, Pam,” said Rebecca. «You`re
putting your finger on something important. You know, I
bought a copy of a little paperback called theWisdom of
Schopenhauer at a used–book store and have been
skimming it the last couple of nights. It`s all over the place:
some of it`s fabulous and some outrageous. There`s a
passage I read yesterday that floored me. He says that if we
go into any cemetery, knock on the tombstones, and ask the
spirits dwelling there if they`d like to live again, every one
of them would emphatically refuse.» She turned to Philip.
«You believe this?» Without waiting for him to respond,
Rebecca continued, «Well, I don`t. He`s not speaking for
me. I`d like to check it out. Could we get a vote here?»
«I`d choose to live again. Life`s a bitch, but it`s a
kick too,” said Tony. A chorus of «me too» spread around
the group. «I hesitate for one reason,” explained Julius.
«The idea of once again bearing the pain of my wife`s
death; but, even so, I`d say yes. I love being alive.» Only
Philip held silent.
«Sorry,” he said, «but I agree with Schopenhauer.
Life is suffering from start to finish. It would have been
better if life, all life, had never been.»
«Better not have beenfor whom ?» asked Pam. «For
Schopenhauer, you mean? Apparently not for the folks in
this room.»
«Schopenhauer is hardly alone in his position.
Consider the millions of Buddhists. Remember that the first
of the Buddha`s four noble truths is that life is suffering.»
«Is that a serious answer, Philip? What`s happened to
you? When I was a student you lectured brilliantly on
modes of philosophical argument. What kind of argument
is this? Truth by proclamation? Truth by appeal to
authority? That`s the way of religion, and yet surely you
follow Schopenhauer in his atheism. And has it occurred to
you that Schopenhauer was chronically depressed and that
the Buddha lived in a place and at a time when human
suffering—pestilence, starvation—was rampant and that,
indeed, life then was unmitigated suffering for most? Has it
occurred—”
«What kind of philosophic argument isthat ?»
retorted Philip. «Every half–way literate sophomore student
knows the difference between genesis and validity.»
«Wait, wait,” interjected Julius. «Let`s pause for a
minute and check in.» He scanned the group. «How are the
rest of you guys feeling about the last few minutes?»
«Good stuff,” said Tony. «They were really duking it
out. But with padded gloves.»
«Right, better than silent glares and hidden daggers,”
said Gill.
