«Yeah, I liked it a lot better,” agreed Bonnie. «Sparks
were flying between Pam and Philip but cooler sparks.»
«Me, too,” said Stuart, «until the last couple of
minutes.»
«Stuart,” said Julius, «in your first meeting here you
said your wife accused you of talking in telegrams.»
«Yep, you`re stingy today. A few more words won`t
cost you any more,” said Bonnie.
«Right. Maybe I`m regressing because...you know,
this being the next–to–last meeting. Can`t be sure—I don`t
feel sad; as usual I have to infer my feelings. Here`s
something I do know, Julius. I love your taking care of me,
calling on me, staying on my case. How`s that?»
«That`s great, and I`ll keep doing it. You said you
liked Pam and Philip talking �until the last couple of
minutes.` So, what about those last minutes?»
«At first it felt good–natured—more like a family
squabble. But that last comment by Philip—that had a nasty
edge to it. I mean the comment starting with» Every
halfway literate sophomore student. «I didn`t like that,
Philip. It was a put–down. If you said that to me, I`d have
felt insulted. And threatened—I`m not even sure what
philosophical arguement means.»
«I agree with Stuart, «said Rebecca. «Tell me, Philip,
whatwere you feeling? Did you want to insult Pam?»
«Insult her? No, not at all. That was the last thing I
wanted to do,” responded Philip. «I
felt...uh...upliftedorreleased —not sure of the right
word—by her saying the iron was no longer red–hot. Let`s
see, what else? I knew that one of her motives in bringing
in the quote by Epictetus was to trap and confound me.
That was obvious. But I kept in mind what Julius said to
me when I brought in that fable for him—that he was
pleased by the effort and the caring behind the act.»
«So,” said Tony, «let me pull a Julius. Here`s what I
hear: you intended one thing but your words resulted in
another thing entirely.»
Philip looked quizzical.
«I mean,” said Tony, «you said that insulting Pam
was the last thing in the world you wanted to do. Yet that
was exactly what you did, wasn`t it?»
Philip, reluctantly, nodded agreement.
«So,” Tony continued, sounding like a triumphant
attorney in cross–examination, «you need to get your
intentions and your behavior on the same page. You need
to get themcongruent —do I have the word right?» Tony
looked at Julius who nodded his head. «Andthat`s why you
should be in therapy. Congruence is what therapy is all
about.»
«Well argued,” said Philip. «I have no
counterargument. You`re right. That is why I need
therapy.»
«What?» Tony could not believe his ears. He glanced
at Julius, who gave him an «atta boy» nod.
«Catch me, I`m going to faint,” said Rebecca who
slumped back in her chair.
«Me, too,” echoed Bonnie and Gill, slumping back as
well.
Philip looked around at the sight of half the group in
mock unconsciousness and, for the first time since entering
the group, grinned.
Philip ended the group levity by returning to the
issue of his personal approach to counseling. «Rebecca`s
discussion of Schopenhauer`s tombstone comment implies
that my approach or any approach based on his point of
view is invalid. Lest you forget, I struggled for years with a
serious affliction which Julius failed to cure, and I was only
healed by patterning my path upon Schopenhauer`s.»
Julius instantly supported Philip. «I don`t deny
you`ve done good work. Most therapists today would say
it`s not possible to overcome a severe sex addiction on your
own. Contemporary treatment involves long–term work—I
mean many years—in a structured recovery program
consisting of individual therapy and groups meeting
multiple times a week often along twelve–step principles.
But no such recovery program existed back then, and,
frankly, I doubt whether you would have found it
compatible.
«So,” Julius continued, «I want to go on record as
saying that your feat is remarkable: the techniques by
which you controlled your runaway drives worked—better
than anything I offered, even though I gave it my best
shot.»
«I`ve never thought otherwise,” said Philip.
«But, here`s a question, Philip, is there a possibility
your methods are now superannuated?»
«Super...what?» asked Tony.
«Superannuated,” whispered Philip, who was sitting
next to Tony—super (Latin forbeyond ) plus annus
(years)—in other words,outmoded, obsolete. ”
Tony nodded thanks.
«The other day,” Julius continued, «when I was
wondering how to bring this home to you, an image came
to mind. Imagine an ancient city that built a high wall to
protect it from the wild torrents of an adjacent river.
Centuries later, though the river had long dried up, the city
still invested considerable resources in maintaining that
wall.»
«You mean,” said Tony, «continuing to use some
