got in the car.
“If that’s what you want.” He sighed in resignation, and then turned down a road that led to Brown.
Jared slowly pulled beside the curb and switched off the ignition. Without a word, I pulled on the handle to let myself out.
“Nina?” Jared called as he caught up with me. “I don’t think this is a good idea, you’re not in any condition to be alone.”
“Beth is there,” I said as I continued walking.
He stopped me just as I reached for the door. “You don’t want to be around me tonight, do you?”
I didn’t want to say it. I begged myself not to, but I had to say the words. The tears threatened to fall but I forced them back. “I can’t do this, Jared.”
He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You can’t do what?”
“We have to go back to the way things used to be,” I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking.
I could see the clouds forming in his eyes. “What are you talking about?” he asked warily.
“I….” My lips pressed together, afraid to speak words that would be physically painful to say, “I don’t think we should be together. I don’t see how it can work.”
Jared was instantly angry. “Don’t do this. You think what happened at Lillian’s tonight is your fault.” He gripped my shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Nina.”
“They came to your mother’s house, Jared. For me. If I wasn’t there they wouldn’t have come. Quit saying it’s not my fault. It is.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed. “How do you think this is going to help, exactly? This isn’t the first time someone has been in our home. It’s not the first time Lillian has been in danger. She was married to Jack Grey’s guardian angel, Nina. It sort of comes with the territory.” He relaxed a bit and pulled me to him. “We can take care of ourselves, okay?”
I pulled away from him, surprised at his casual demeanor. “You brought me to meet your family and you expect me not to care what happens to them?”
Jared grabbed my hands and sighed in frustration. I could see that he was desperate for me to see reason. “Nothing happened to them. I realize you were scared, but it was completely under control. You don’t think Bex has seen worse?”
“In his home? In his room? Your eleven year old brother broke a man’s neck in his bedroom, Jared. That’s not normal….”
“We’re not normal!” He took a deep breath to keep his voice calm. “Bex just got home from training with the Marines, Nina. You’re not saving him by doing this. It’s who we are. What do you think you’ll accomplish by pushing me away?” He shook his head and looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.
But I was resolved.
“It’s going to keep them focused on me and out of your mother’s house.”
Jared’s eyes darkened and a grave expression shadowed his face. “So we won’t go back there. If that’s what you want, we’ll stay away from her house.” Jared reached for me, but I moved away.
I shook my head. “They already know who you are. They know where your mother lives. They know about Bex, now. The damage is done, Jared.”
“You’re being unreasonable. This doesn’t make any sense,” he said in a strangled tone.
I looked to the sidewalk. “Don’t make this harder—,”
“Than it already is? Original,” he snapped. “How are we supposed to go about this, Nina? I’m no longer allowed to speak to you or touch you? You expect me to go through that again?”
His pointed question sent a new bolt of guilt shooting through me, and I struggled to keep his pain from overriding the guilt that I felt at Lillian’s.
“I don’t know what I expect, I just know this is too hard…it’s too…I’m going to get your family killed! Don’t you care about that?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to get them killed. Three out of four of us are Half-breeds, Nina. Twelve well-trained humans couldn’t make it out of our house alive, tonight. You don’t have to do this!”
“Hybrids,” I insisted. “Don’t fight me on this. You know I’m right. They know they can get at one of us with the other.”
“So we’ll solve the problem, not run from it. I can’t believe you’re saying this,” he seethed. “You of all people, who stood in the freezing rain for fifteen minutes because you didn’t want to wait a few more days for me to appease your mother! Who sliced open your hand and nearly broke your arm because you had to talk to me! Two days ago we decided where our wedding will be, Nina! You’re just going to walk away from everything we’ve been fighting for?”
I couldn’t argue, so I simply nodded my head.
Jared grabbed my shoulders. “I don’t believe you.”
“You said I needed normal.” I hesitated; my next words would cut him. “I can’t have a normal life with you.”
Jared’s eyes turned a midnight blue. “Don’t lie to me, Nina. You want out because you’re afraid something will happen to my family if we stay together. I’m telling you, nothing’s going to happen. I’m asking you to trust me.”
I reached my hand up to touch his cheek; his jaws tensed under his skin. “Something will happen. I don’t know what else to do, Jared. We both have to have some sort of a life.”
“I can’t have a life without you. I don’t want a life without you.” He swallowed hard. His face was locked in an agonizing expression.
I pressed my lips together, determined to make him believe the lie. “This isn’t how I want to live. The fear, the guilt, the looking over my shoulder. We can’t even be intimate.”
Jared took my hand and pressed his lips against my knuckles, closing his eyes tight. “Please…please don’t do this. I can’t go back to that.”
I almost gave in. I wanted to, but I stayed focused on the guilt I felt as I told Lillian goodbye. “You have to go.” I placed the loft key in his palm.
“Nina…,” he choked, looking down at his hand as if I had placed a hot coal there.
I reached down to pull his ring from my finger and he grabbed both of my hands. His face crumpled as if he had taken all he could stand. “Don’t break your promise.”
I relaxed my hands down to my sides. He was right, I had promised.
Jared pulled me into him by my shoulders and kissed me deeply — and I let him. I returned his kiss with the same sadness and fear. He held me so tightly I found it hard to breathe, but I didn’t care. I let him hold me and kiss me however he wanted. It would be our last night together.
He abruptly pulled back, just a few inches, but kept me tightly in his arms. “I’ll do what I have to do, Nina. If you want to go away, we’ll go. If you need intimacy, I’ll make love to you. I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll give up everything I have. I’ll give up my family. We can get in the car right now and just drive— I won’t even look back. Just don’t ask me to do this. I can’t do it. I can’t…,” he choked.
I pulled away from his grip and opened the door. Jared pulled me back into his arms and kissed me again. Once I felt the tears streak down my cheeks I pushed him away, but he kept me against him. I finally had to shove him again and again until he finally let go so that I could get through the door.
The steps to my room were endless. I stayed focused on my mission, refusing to fall apart. Jared had said it himself that he was willing to give up everything for me, including his family…and I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t let the Ryels get hurt because of me, whether it was physically or from losing Jared. I couldn’t look Jared in the eye if he lost another person in his family because of the mistakes of my father.
I wiped my face and tucked my hair behind my ears before I opened the door. Beth sat at her computer.
“And she’s home!” Beth said excitedly, spinning around in her desk chair. Her tone quickly changed when she saw my face. “Oh my God, Nina! What’s wrong?”
“Jared and I are over,” I murmured, changing into my pajamas. I wanted to sleep. It was the only thing that would alleviate the wrenching pain in my ribs.
“Didn’t you meet his mother tonight? What happened?”
“All hell broke loose,” I replied, scrubbing my face in the sink.
