Yes, taking advantage of the privileges that name allows he will dare presume to share these joys with me, which having tasted I would entirely appropriate to myself.
Many will consider me unreasonable; let them. I cannot help it; she must be mine, and mine alone. I name my discontent to her, of which, to my great joy, she approves — in fact declares that from the moment when she first abandoned herself to love and me, a similar desire had filled her heart. She assured me, with a blush, that since the completion of our mutual felicity nothing upon earth could be to her so fulsome as the embraces of her husband, whom she now held in abhorrence; that during our intimacy, which had now continued for three blissful weeks, she had availed herself of every reasonable excuse to avoid his importunities; yet she acknowledged, with tears in her eyes, and blushing downcast face, that notwithstanding every effort on her part she had been compelled, on one or two occasions, to submit to his detested freedoms since the heavenly moment when she first began to live.
She vowed that she felt it quite impossible to continue such a life; she would not be the property of two; and now, for the first time, offered to leave her home, child, and husband at a moment's notice to wander through the world with me, urging me to fix a day at once in order that she might lose no time in preparing for our future comforts.
Infatuated as I was, I must confess that the unexpected suddenness of this proposal took me rather by surprise. My eyes were instantly open to the many insurmountable inconveniences that must inevitably attend such a rash proceeding. However, recovering my presence of mind ere she had time to notice my hesitation, which would have greatly pained her gentle heart, I assured her that although nothing upon earth could be so congenial to my feelings as to retain the undivided possession of her charms, yet no selfish consideration of my own happiness should induce me to plunge her into poverty. That I was still under the control of a master, who, notwithstanding that the progress I had made in my studies had for some time prevented the necessity of my attending to receive lessons-which I was in fact competent to give as well as my instructor-yet the term for which I had been articled not having expired he had a claim upon one half of whatever sums my engagements might produce during that period; that in one year more I should be entirely free and consequently enabled to support her according to her worth and my own ardent desires.
In vain she endeavoured to argue me out of this determination; I was adamant. In vain she pleaded the violent fervour of her love, and that she preferred a crust with me to all the delicacies in the world apart from me. I was too tenderly alive to her comforts to consent to such a sacrifice; and when at length she suffered herself to be persuaded and requested to know in what way she could best ensure my happiness I imparted my plan to her; it was that she should seek an opportunity to quarrel with her husband-which I well knew his peevish disposition would readily afford her, and as on such occasions he never failed to give her ample grounds of complaint she could, in the excitement of the moment, take an oath to withdraw herself from his arms and bed for ever! — giving him to understand at the same time that the welfare of their infant alone prevented her from leaving his house altogether.
Wild as this proposition may appear to the cool eye of reason, she readily pledged her word to me that it should be complied with to the very letter, only claiming in return a promise on my part that, in the event of his becoming clamorous for a restitution of his conjugal rights- which in the course of a few weeks might probably be the case-that rather than see her reduced to such a detestable alternative I would, at all hazards, immediately procure a lodging and at once remove her from him.
As I could not possibly urge any reasonable objection to such conditions, I made the required promise without further hesitation; and that very night the desired opportunity occurred, of which, in obedience to the agreement we had made, she joyfully availed herself and her purpose was effected!
Fortune appeared so favourable to our designs that he returned home in a temper more morose than usual, and as she did not strive by a patient submission to every caprice to soothe him into gentleness as she was wont to do, he, in a moment of irritation, threw a basin at her head with such violence that, striking against the opposite wall, it was shivered into a thousand pieces; and had she not fortunately stepped aside at the very instant, it must have been attended with fatal consequences.
All, however, was in accordance with her wishes, and, as I have before stated that I could overhear almost every word that was spoken in their parlour while sitting in my bedchamber, I need scarcely say with what pleasure I listened to her solemn declaration that 'from that moment she was resolved to discontinue all intercourse with him for ever!'
To which his mild and gentle answer was 'You may be d-d!' and she certainly was not importuned by the brute during that night.
I found the following morning upon paying her my usual visit, that she had made her bed upon the sofa, which she declared should be her only resting place while she continued with him, and having a heavy debt of gratitude to pay we adjourned to the couch Sir Cornuto had quitted, where I endeavoured, by vows of eternal constancy in the future and by the instant production of a most upright and trustworthy witness to my love in the present, to make ample compensation for the anguish she had endured throughout the previous night.
Nothing could exceed the mortification of Mr. E. when, more than a week having passed away, he found his once foolishly obedient wife still obstinately firm in rejecting every overture of peace and in withholding from him those favours which he considered none but himself had ever shared or had a right to claim; but when she further threatened if he persisted in tormenting her with such vain and hopeless solicitations she would instantly quit his house, and that he might send the infant out to nurse, his astonishment may be imagined; but I defy the ablest writer of the day to do justice to it by description.
After such proofs of ardent love, can it be believed that I was not yet satisfied; such, however, was the case, for I am naturally so prone to suspicion that, judging of her husband's feelings by my own, I began to doubt whether it were possible that a man, and that man a husband, could night after night remain in the same apartment with a young and lovely woman, and she his wedded wife, without demandingnay, enforcing-compliance in such a point as the one in question; or might she not be making me her dupe? 'Tis true that I every morning found her upon her solitary couch; but then what could be more easy than for her, after passing the night in her husband's arms, to quit the bed at his departure and gain her couch in time sufficient to deceive my sight; all this might really happen and the mere reflection nearly drove me crazy; nay, so strong was the conviction on my mind that I was cozened that I at length accused her of inconstancy, and that in the most abrupt manner, believing that in the sudden surprise her confusion would betray her guilt.
But no, I wrong her; deeply, cruelly wrong her. True it is that she expressed surprise, but it was surprise blended with indignation at the base suspicion; she taxes me with cruelty, demanding to know what she had left undone to give me satisfaction or what she could still do to remove my doubts and secure my confidence.
I craved pardon for my weakness, urging the violence of my love as an excuse; she seals my forgiveness with a fond embrace, and even felt flattered by my unreasonable jealousy; and before we parted further agreed, nay insisted, that in order to convince me of her truth and that doubt might in future be entirely out of the question she would place the sofa which formed her bed in such a position that on my returning home each night, by applying my eye to the keyhole of her door, I could plainly perceive it all was in accordance with my wishes, and that a night lamp should be left burning in her room for that especial purpose.
Matters had continued in this state for nearly two months when an incident occurred that had nearly proved fatal to my happinessperhaps to me.
I had left home for the purpose of attending a concert at the I-r SRooms, when shortly after my first song I was seized with a violent spasmodic pain in the chest which increased to such a degree that I was compelled to send for a coach and immediately proceeded home.
On my arrival the door was opened by Mr. E., who perceiving my indisposition enquired with much apparent kindness the nature of my complaint, for the relief of which he advised me to try a glass of burnt brandy, with a little ground ginger, sweetened with moist sugar (which, by the by, is a most excellent remedy in all spasmodic cases), and as I did not happen to have any of this spirit in the house he offered his services to procure some from a neighbouring wine vault; I thanked him for his attention and proceeded to my own chamber where, throwing myself upon the bed, I moaned aloud, so violent was the pain I was still enduring.
No sooner had he departed in quest of the requisite liquor than his-or rather, my-Bessy entered the apartment and tenderly endeavouring to soothe my anguish raised me in her arms and imprinted a kiss of affection upon my parched lips.
At this moment we were suddenly alarmed by hearing the key of the street door thrust into the lock in a
