ARTICLE 13
ARTICLE 14
ARTICLE 15
ARTICLE 16
ARTICLE 17
America was built on the backs of men and women who were yelled at to work harder, and the tradition has been screamed from generation to generation. But you can't just scream at anybody… you can only scream at those beneath you. To illustrate how it works, here's the Scream Pyramid for a professional football team:
It's no different inside the office, as exemplified by my own corporate Scream Pyramid:
Here is a blank Scream Pyramid for you to fill in. If you're not sure where you fit, you can always trick a Broworker into screaming at someone and then see where the pieces fall. That's how I figured out I was above the VP of Synergy.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you find yourself at the bottom, don't fret. The beauty of the pyramid is that you can always add a layer to the foundation. The janitorial crew, the sleepy-eyed security man, or anyone who doesn't speak English is a great place to start.
ARTICLE 18
NOTE: To avoid confrontation, it's a good idea for the Bro to jettison the receipt before returning to the party.
ARTICLE 19
COROLLARY: It's probably best for everyone if Bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other Bros are coming over.
□ Hide all pictures of hot sisters, moms, and first cousins.
□ Open liquor bottles and dust the bar area to give the impression you actually use it.
□ As a courtesy, move printed porn from the bedroom to the bathroom.
□ Scan DVR playlist and remove embarrassing television programs like daytime talk shows.
□ Open all windows.
□ Display all remote controls on the coffee table, regardless of functionality.
□ Disconnect answering machine, or…
□ Call Mom an hour before your Bros arrive.
□ Coasters, coasters, coasters!
□ Sign out of email account.
□ Usher girlfriend/booty call off the premises.
ARTICLE 20
ARTICLE 21