Lilith wished she had come from behind her tree and pretended not to notice all the eyes and all the silence. All the suspicion.
'Is that it?' Gabriel asked. 'You came because Joe asked you to?'
'Yes,' she said softly.
'Otherwise you would have stayed with the Oankali?'
'I would have stayed at camp. After all, I know I can live out here. If these are final tests, I've already passed mine.'
'And what kind of grade did the Oankali give you?' It was probably the most honest question he had ever asked her-filled with hostility, suspicion, and contempt.
'It was a pass-fail course, Gabe. A live-die course.' She turned and began walking upriver, breaking trail. After a while, she heard them following.
5
Upriver was the oldest part of the island, the part with the greatest number of huge old trees, many with broad buttresses. This land had once been connected to the mainland-had become first a peninsula, then an island as the river changed course and cut through the connecting neck of land. Or that was what was supposed to have happened. That was the Oankali illusion. Or was it an illusion?
Lilith found her moments of doubt coming more often as she walked. She had not been along this bank of the river. Like the Oankali, she had not worried about getting lost. She and Nikanj had walked through the interior several times, and she had found it easier to look up at the green canopy and believe herself within a vast room.
But the river seemed so large. As they followed the bank, the far bank changed, seemed nearer, seemed more heavily forested here, more deeply eroded there, ranged from low bluffs to flat bank that slipped into the river, blending almost seamlessly with its reflection. She could pick out individual trees-treetops anyway. Those that towered above the canopy.
'We should stop for the night,' she said when the sun told her it was late afternoon. 'We should make camp here and tomorrow, we should start to build a boat.'
'Have you been here before?' Joseph asked her.
'No. But I've been near here. The opposite bank is as close to us as it gets in this area. Let's see what we can do about shelter. It's going to rain again.'
'Wait a minute,' Gabriel said.
She looked at him and knew what was coming. She had taken charge out of habit. Now she would hear about it.
'I didn't invite you along to tell us what to do,' he said. 'We're not in the prison room now. We don't take orders from you.'
'You brought me along because I had knowledge you didn't have. What do you want to do? Keep walking until it's too late to put up a shelter? Sleep in the mud tonight? Find a wider section of river to cross?'
'I want to find the others-if they're still free.'
Lilith hesitated for a moment in surprise. 'And if they're together.' She sighed. 'Is that what the rest of you want?'
'I want to get as far from the Oankali as I can,' Tate said. 'I want to forget what it feels like when they touch me.'
Lilith pointed. 'If that's land over there instead of some kind of illusion, then that's your goal. Your first goal anyway.'
'We find the others first!' Gabriel insisted.
Lilith looked at him with interest. He was in the open now. Probably in his mind he was in some kind of struggle with her. He wanted to lead and she did not-yet she had to. He could easily get someone killed.
'If we build a shelter now,' she said, 'I'll find the others tomorrow if they're anywhere nearby.' She held up her hand to stop the obvious objection. 'One or all of you can come with me and watch if you want to. It's just that I can't get lost. If I leave you and you don't move, I'll be able to find you again. If we all travel together, I can bring you back to this spot. After all, it's just possible that some or all of the others have already crossed the river. They've had time.'
People were nodding.
'Where do we camp?' Allison asked.
'It's early,' Leah protested.
'Not to me it isn't,' Wray said. 'Between the mosquitoes and my feet, I'm glad to stop.'
'The mosquitoes will be bad tonight,' Lilith told him. 'Sleeping with an ooloi was better than any mosquito repellant. Tonight, they'll probably eat us alive.'
'I can stand it,' Tate said.
Had she hated Kahguyaht so much? Lilith wondered. Or was she only beginning to miss it and trying to defend herself against her own feelings?
'We can clear here,' she said aloud. 'Don't cut those two saplings. Wait a minute.' She looked to see if either young tree were home to colonies of stinging ants. 'Yes, these are all right. Find two more of this size or a little bigger and cut them. And cut aerial roots. Thin ones to use as -rope. Be careful. If anything stings or bites you out here.. . We're on our own. You could die. And don't go out of sight of this area. It's easier to get lost than you think.'
'But you're so good you can't get lost,' Gabriel said.
'Good has nothing to do with it. I have an eidetic memory and I've had more time to get used to the forest.'
