“Eshe?” Selene asked.
“The word engraved on the cup,” Kadar murmured.
Tarik nodded. “And the word I recognized on the scroll.”
“What does it mean?”
“Life,” he said simply. “Selket named his mixture Eshe because that’s what it was-a way to cheat death. He thought he’d found a way to extend life far beyond the ordinary span.” He smiled. “You’re both staring at me the way I looked at Layla when she told me what the scroll contained. You don’t believe me.” He shrugged. “I knew that would be your response. You’re intelligent, and that’s the intelligent reaction.”
“It smacks of sorcery, and I’ve never believed in magical elixirs,” Kadar said. “Men have always sought a way to avoid death and it has always come to naught. I see no reason why this should be any different.”
“And you, Selene?”
She shook her head impatiently. “Even if I did believe it, it wouldn’t make any difference. The only thing that matters is if Nasim believes it and if we can use it to trap him.”
“Life and death,” Tarik said. “I’ve presented you with a fascinating possibility. Aren’t you even tempted to dwell on life instead of death?”
He didn’t understand, Selene realized. Until Nasim was punished, she could think of nothing else.
“You speak of this Eshe,” Kadar said. “What does that have to do with the grail?”
“Papyrus is frail and easily destroyed. Gold is the most permanent of metals. Layla and I had the information on the scroll engraved on the cup.”
“And Nasim heard rumors about the grail and thought it a magic chalice,” Kadar said.
“Nasim’s no longer in his first youth, and his power is waning,” Tarik said. “Unlike you, he does believe in sorcery. Such a tale would appeal to him.”
“Then he’d do anything to get it?” Selene asked.
“I believe he demonstrated that at Sienbara,” Tarik said.
“I have to be sure.”
“It’s not possible, Selene,” Layla said gently. “I realize how you feel, but we can’t use the grail to bait Nasim. We’ll give you gold, soldiers, anything else you wish. But we can’t risk losing the grail.”
“You don’t know how I feel. And we
Layla’s expression hardened. “No. Do you think I’ve fought and worked for Eshe to let it-”
“I believe it’s time to say good night.” Kadar quickly rose to his feet and grasped Selene’s elbow. “We can discuss this tomorrow. Shall we all meet here two hours after sunrise?”
“I want to discuss it now,” Selene said.
“No, you don’t. We all need to think about the problem and the solutions. I’ll take you to your chamber.” He half-pushed, half-guided Selene toward the door. “Tomorrow.”
Before she realized it, she was in the hall. She jerked her arm from Kadar’s grasp. “It has to be settled tonight.”
“It would be settled. Tarik and Layla would dig in their heels and refuse you. Is that what you want?”
“Of course it’s not what I want.” But it was what would happen, she realized. Despair and anger had led her to push too hard, and neither Tarik nor Layla responded well to coercion. No matter how desperately she needed to put a plan into place, she would have to wait and approach the situation from another angle. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow.” She started down the hall.
“You’re being very reasonable,” he murmured as he fell into step with her. “It doesn’t bode well.”
“I don’t feel reasonable.” She didn’t look at him. “Are you going to help me?”
“I haven’t decided. It’s a very dangerous course you’ve chosen.”
Shock rippled through her. Tarik and Layla’s help had never been certain, but she had never doubted she could count on Kadar, whether he approved or not. “It’s the right thing to do.”
“As I said, I haven’t decided. I’ll have to think upon it.”
They had reached her door and she whirled to face him. “You’re different tonight.”
He smiled. “Am I? Perhaps you’re just seeing me clearer. I don’t believe anyone else would see a difference.”
No, but he had never been with her as he had with the rest of the world. He had shown everyone else that mockery, the darkness, the deadliness just beneath the surface. He had never turned that face to her.
Until tonight.
“Why are you like this?”
“You think I should be gentle with you? You don’t want my gentleness. You want the same thing from me the rest of the world wants. A man to be killed, a task to be done.” He bowed. “So I must treat you as I do everyone else and weigh the advantages and the consequences of giving you what you want.” He opened her door. “I bid you good night. Sleep well, Selene.”
“I didn’t mean to-” She stopped. What could she say? She did need him, and she planned to use him, as he had said. No wonder she had distanced him. “I mean you no harm. I don’t want you to kill Nasim. I only want you to show me how to do it.”
He didn’t answer. He was walking away.
Don’t think of the hurt you must have dealt to turn him into this stranger. Think of Haroun. Think of Nasim.
Think of the act to be done.
15
“THEY DON’T BELIEVE US,” Layla said.
“We didn’t expect them to.” Tarik moved over to the balustrade to gaze into the garden. “It’s a wild tale.”
“Yes.” She stood beside him. “I’m not sure Kadar was a good choice. He likes his way too much.”
“And you do not?”
She grimaced. “I like it, but I seldom got it. Not with you.”
“As I remember, I told you no only once.”
But it had been the most important plea, when she had asked him to stay. “But there were always arguments.” She braced herself. “Why did you wed her?”
“Rosa? She was kind. I was lonely.”
“I was lonely too. I never took a husband to ease it.”
“I don’t wish to discuss Rosa.”
“Neither do I. I only wondered.” Her gaze traveled around the trees and flowers of the moonlit garden, the clear serenity of the rectangular pool. “This is pleasant. It reminds me a little of our house in Greece. Is that why you bought it?”
“No. I bought it because I was weary of living in walled fortresses.”
“I never walled myself away from the world. You didn’t have to do it either.”
“You sent me the grail.”
“But you created the chains yourself. When you treat a treasure as if it’s not a treasure, you attract less curiosity. I would have rubbed some mud on it, tossed it in my saddlebag, and forgotten about it.”
“No, you wouldn’t. It guides your life.”
“It guides both our lives. That doesn’t mean it has to be everything. We have to live our lives with joy.”
His gaze rested on her face. “And have these years been joyful for you, Layla?”
She looked away from him. “There have been moments of joy.”
“It must have been painful for you to learn that Selene was with child.”
“Do you think me so petty? I was
