the fine, wise things, but I know how she feels.”
“Layla.” His hand reached and hovered near her shoulder.
She held her breath.
His hand fell away without touching her.
She mustn’t let him see the pain. She smiled with an effort. “But, as usual, we must forget what we feel and protect the grail. It may be more difficult to guard it from Selene and Kadar than from Nasim.” She must get away. She could stand no more tonight. “I think I will go to my bed. I’m journey weary.”
Tarik nodded. “Good night.”
She could feel his gaze on her back as she walked toward the door.
We’re here together at last. Don’t let me go.
Stop me. Talk truth to me.
Touch me.
He did none of those things.
He watched her walk away.
There was someone in the chamber.
Selene came wide awake, her gaze searching the darkness.
“Don’t be frightened. It’s only me,” Kadar said.
He was sitting cross-legged on the floor beside her bed. She could see him only dimly in the pale moonlight streaming through the windows. The light glimmered on his dark hair but left his face in shadow. “I’m not frightened. What are you doing here?”
“Looking at you. I couldn’t sleep. There was much to consider.”
“You cannot see me in the dark.”
“I can see you. I was trained well by Sinan and Nasim. Did you hear me when I crept into the room?” He shook his head. “No one hears me. Nasim would be dead by now.”
A ripple of shock went through her.
“What’s wrong? That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
He had sensed her disturbance with that sixth sense that was always between them. “I want him dead. I don’t want you to fall upon him in the depths of sleep.”
“You want him to have an honorable death? There are no honorable or dishonorable deaths. There is just death.”
“I don’t want you-I’ll do it.”
“We will see.”
“You’ve decided to help me?”
“Perhaps.” His tone became mocking. “If the price is high enough. I’m an assassin without peer. You cannot expect to have me cheaply.”
“Price?”
“I wanted your child. I didn’t realize how much until Layla told me it was dead. I still want it.” He paused. “That’s my price, Selene. You must give me a child.”
She lost her breath. “I would never give up a child.”
“I didn’t ask you to give the babe over to me. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mother. You’re part of the bargain.” His voice was velvet soft. “It should be no great trial for you to accept me. Our bodies love each other, and once we return to Montdhu we will both be busy with our duties. Of course, we will have to exchange vows. I’ll not leave my child unprotected when I go after Nasim.”
“I cannot-I don’t-”
“You don’t want another child?”
She had not even considered it. The pain of loss was too fresh. She was confused and stunned by the thought. “Now?”
“It would not be now. I believe it takes nine months.”
“I mean it-”
“It’s my price, Selene. Give me this and I’ll persuade Tarik and Layla to let us use the grail. I’ll show you how to get Nasim, and I’ll kill him myself if that’s your will.”
“It’s not my will.” She moistened her lips. “And I’m not sure-I know you, Kadar. I may not have to do anything for you to do this for me.”
“Very clever. It’s true I would have done almost anything for you. I still might. But you don’t know, do you? And do you really know me?”
Not this Kadar. Not the Kadar who had shown up at her door this evening. “I don’t like the power vows give to a man.”
“I do. With a woman like you, a man needs any advantage he can claim. And, as I recall, at one time you asked me to wed you.”
“That was a long time ago.” It seemed a century since that last night at Montdhu. “I’m not that woman any longer.”
“No, you’re not. So I offer you a bargain.”
“I’ll… consider it.”
“You have little time. It’s necessary to strike fast and hard at a man like Tarik. Otherwise he’ll have time to bolster his defenses.”
“It’s not only Tarik, it’s Layla. They seemed very determined. Are you sure you can sway them?”
“I’ll sway them.” He added lightly, “Or, if not, I’ll steal the grail for you.”
“And then we’d be running from them as well as having to concoct a plan to trap Nasim. You must persuade them.”
“And if I do?”
Her hands clenched on the cover. It could be a terrible mistake. She was not certain of anything any longer. Not Kadar. Not herself.
No, she was certain of one thing. Nasim must be punished.
“You’ll have your price.”
“Good.”
Silence in the chamber. She grew uneasy when he did not move but still sat looking at her. “Well, go to your bed. We have nothing more to say.”
“Soon. I’m enjoying this.”
“I am not. Go away.”
“You would, if you permitted yourself. The darkness makes everything more sensual, doesn’t it? I’ve always loved the scent of you. I can hear every change of tempo of your breath. A bar of moonlight is lying across your body. I can see your breasts covered by the blanket, but your shoulders are naked and shimmering…” He suddenly chuckled. “Your breathing has quickened. Why?”
He knew why. He always knew everything about her body’s responses. “I want you to leave.”
“Do you?” He was suddenly kneeling on the floor by her bed. His features were still shadowed. “And I want to put my hand on that strip of moonlight.” His hand came out of the darkness to lightly rest on the blanket covering her belly. The muscles of her abdomen clenched beneath the touch. “Look at us,” he whispered.
She couldn’t help but look. His touch was light, but the warmth seemed to burn her through the blanket. His hand gleamed pale against the brown wool. From the forearm he was in shadow, but his hand was bold and clear, strong, fingers spread wide and stiff.
She was having trouble breathing. “This is not my will.”
“Shh, it’s not unusual for a man of my profession to be given a small payment for a deposit.” He was pushing the blanket aside.
She should move.
She couldn’t move.
His cheek was against her belly, rubbing slowly back and forth. She could feel the slight male roughness against her softness.
“Here,” he whispered. “Soon, Selene.”
A child. He was talking about a babe.
