and that she hadn’t done anything wrong. Even so she felt herself blushing. “I don’t know that I’d call it involved. We’re…” Her voice trailed off, then she decided she might as well tell the truth.
“I love him,” she said. “I don’t think he loves me back, but we’re friends and he cares about me.”
Her mother blinked. “I’ll admit I’d expected a lot of things, but not that. Love. Are you sure?”
She wished she weren’t. Loving Jonathan wasn’t easy. He was a sophisticated man who traveled in circles she’d never been a part of.
“As sure as I can be. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. I know he’s not perfect, but who is? I admire many things about him.” She frowned. “It’s not about money or power, Mom. I swear. If anything, that stuff makes me nervous.”
Her mother dismissed the comment with a wave. “I know that. You weren’t raised to find those things important. Of course no one wants to be homeless, but once the basic needs are met, finances don’t enter into it.”
Her mother leaned back into the sofa and sighed. “But Jonathan Steele. I don’t know. He’s so…not like us. He’s an emotionally closed man. If you can be the one to open him up, if he comes to truly trust you, then I believe he’ll be a good and faithful partner. But I don’t know that anyone has the power to reach him.” She fixed her gaze on her daughter. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I don’t want that, either,” Cynthia agreed, knowing it was a very real possibility. “Unfortunately it’s a little late to be worrying about that. I’m sort of up to my neck already.” She set down the pictures she’d been holding and sighed. “It’s not just Jonathan, either. It’s Colton. I know better than to get emotionally involved with one of the babies, but I have to admit he’s stolen my heart.”
She looked at her mother. “Just to make my life interesting, we’re supposed to start interviewing permanent nannies soon. I got a call from his secretary this morning arranging our schedules so we could coordinate everything. I wanted to scream at her that losing Colton would hurt too much, but I can’t. I have to be a professional.”
The pain from that conversation returned. “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted in a quiet voice. “I’m not sure how to survive losing them both.”
Her mother slid toward her and gathered her close. “I know. I wish I could say or do something to make it better, but I can’t. You’re going to have to see this to the end.” She touched Cynthia’s face. “However this turns out, you know I’m here for you, don’t you?”
Cynthia nodded. She knew she was too old to need her mother’s approval or embrace to make her feel better, but she couldn’t deny the comfort the hug brought her.
Betsy slid back to her side of the sofa. “It might all work out,” she said. “You can’t be sure yet. And if it doesn’t, you’ll get through what you have to. I’ve learned that lesson myself.”
Cynthia thought about all her mother had been through-being thrown out by her parents when she was only eighteen and the mother of a three-year-old, the loss of her husband-and knew that having her relationship with Jonathan fail wasn’t even close.
“You’re right, of course,” she said, feeling slightly ashamed. “I couldn’t miss Jonathan as much as you have missed Frank.”
“Why not?” her mother asked. Betsy smiled sadly. “If you love him as much as I loved Frank, then you’ll miss him as much. I wish you wouldn’t, but those kinds of feelings don’t die easily.”
Returning footsteps interrupted them. Cynthia forced herself to smile pleasantly at Jonathan so he wouldn’t suspect that they’d been talking about anything important. Fortunately he didn’t seem to notice the charged atmosphere in the room.
He stood behind the sofa across from them and shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Here’s the thing,” he said. “I was wondering if there was a reason the boys didn’t have a video-game player at home. I mean do you think it’s a bad thing, that it will keep them from their homework or playing outside?”
He swallowed and avoided both their gazes. “It’s just that they’re really having a good time and I’m getting rid of it anyway and I thought maybe if you didn’t mind, they could take it home with them. It has a really nice carrying case and lots of games. Oh, and a Mute button.”
Betsy laughed. She tucked her short blond curls behind her ears. “I don’t have any moral opposition to video games,” she said. “Brad and Brett aren’t the type of kids to sit in front of the television all day. They have too much energy. You’re very kind and we appreciate that.”
He grinned. “Great. Can I tell them? Or do you want to?”
“Go ahead.”
“Thanks.” He turned on his heel and left the room.
Betsy gazed after him and sighed. “They already look up to him,” she said. “This is going to give him God-like stature in their eyes. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.”
Cynthia was pleased that Jonathan seemed to be getting along so well with her brothers. “He’s a terrific role model for them. He’s honest and smart and he’ll never lead them astray. I know he’s not Frank, Mom, but no one would be.”
Betsy didn’t look convinced. “You’re seeing him through love’s eyes. That gives everyone a glow. I’m not so convinced. Of course if he breaks your heart, I’ll have to hate him on general principle.”
Cynthia appreciated that her mother was worried about her, but she didn’t think it was going to help. Either she and Jonathan could work things out or they couldn’t. “I believe in him,” she said firmly, but as she spoke the words she wasn’t sure if she was convincing her mother, or herself.
Jonathan glanced in his rearview mirror. “You all right back there?”
There wasn’t a reply. Not a big surprise, he told himself. After all, Colton’s verbal abilities barely stretched to gurgling. Still the baby waved his arms in excitement, as if the thought of being in Jonathan’s car was a treat beyond measure.
“Just wait a few years until you’re big enough to sit in the front seat,” he said. “That’ll be even better.”
Colton grinned, then turned away as a large truck caught his attention. He pointed and made his favorite raspberry sound. Jonathan turned right at the corner and pulled into the parking lot.
Jonathan found himself driving more slowly than usual as he maneuvered through the maze of cars, just as he’d been extra careful on the twenty-minute drive from his house to Cynthia’s office. He’d always considered himself an excellent driver, but having a baby in the back seat had made him more cautious than usual.
“Next thing you know I’ll have one of those stupid Baby On Board stickers on the back window,” he muttered to himself as he turned off the ignition and got out of the car. He could only imagine the expression on his Mercedes dealer’s face when he drove in for his yearly service. Jonathan Steele, a father? Not likely.
“That’s why we’re getting you a nanny,” he told Colton when he opened the back door and reached in to unfasten the infant from his car seat. “We’re going to find a nice lady to come live in the house and take care of you. Like Cynthia has been, but this will be a more permanent arrangement. Sort of a mom for hire.”
Colton seemed more interested in the pen in his jacket pocket than by the conversation. Jonathan pulled the writing instrument from harm’s way, then tucked the baby securely in his arms. “It’s up here,” he said, walking toward the four-storey building.
Mother’s Helper had a good-size office suite on the third floor of the building. He entered the reception area. A young woman behind a counter looked up and smiled.
“You must be Mr. Steele. Cynthia is expecting you. If you’ll follow me?”
Jonathan glanced at the five women seated in the waiting area. They were probably the candidates for the job. None of them especially appealed to him, but then he reminded himself that good looks weren’t important. What he wanted was a trained professional who would provide consistent, loving care for his nephew. Still there weren’t even any warm grandmother-types. Just four straight-backed older women in dark dresses and a younger woman who barely looked out of her teens. She caught Jonathan’s glance and smiled
