the first time because you said you were mature enough and
she let you wear black and you made her cry so you say
momma I’m sorry momma nothing happened m om ma
nothing happened he didn’t hurt me momma I’m fine m omma
honest m omma nothing happened it didn’t m omma honest
nothing; and she says “ pregnant” something; and I am
punished, in m y room, put alone in m y room and not allowed
to come out and she doesn’t like me anymore, and I cry, I am
going to cry until I get old, I am crying for God to see, I am
afraid the man will come again because he came from nowhere
the first time and he disappeared into thin air and if he is from
outer space he can go anywhere or maybe he followed me like
they do on television and I couldn’t see him because he hid
behind trees and cars and God would know if he had followed
me and maybe God could stop him from finding m y room or
it could be like when someone is killed on television and you
think he is dead and then it gets all quiet and he isn’t dead and
he attacks again with a knife or a gun or he is real strong and it
is real quiet but suddenly he appears from nowhere so I cry but
I keep m y eye on the door so I will be alert in case he is just
pretending to be gone but really he sneaked inside the house
and he is ju st waiting or he could come in the w indow ; and
something hurts me like when you fall down and scrape your
knees and the skin is all scraped o ff and it is all bloody and has
cuts in it and dirt in it and your mother cleans it o ff and puts
iodine on it and says it w o n ’t hurt but it burns and she puts a
bandage on it; something hurts somewhere where he rubbed
but I don’t look because I’m afraid and I keep m y hands away
because I don’t want m y hands to touch me and I don’t want to
touch anywhere in m y legs because I’m afraid; and I couldn’t
say something was hurting because I didn’t know if something
was hurting or not or where it was because maybe I was
making it up because it hurt like a scraped knee but it hurt
somewhere that didn’t exist. I wanted God to see me crying so
He would know and it would count. I asked God if there were
men from outer space on earth because He knew if there was
life on other planets but He didn’t answer me; and I knew there
weren’t but I knew He could have made them if He wanted to
and I knew people only had two hands and I didn’t know how
many hands this man had and I couldn’t figure it out no matter
how much I tried because if he was rubbing in some places
how could he be rubbing in so many places and I couldn’t
count how many places and if he was from outer space he
could come into my room now through the air or anytime
from nowhere. I wanted God to tell me the truth because I was
afraid. I was trying to tell God I was hurt because I thought
God should know and let me stay in m y room and keep the
