A Beautiful Mess

Pulling back I wiped the tears away from my face and said, “Alright, let’s do this.”

The drive over to Jason’s apartment was unbearable. Every foot we drove I wanted to beg Jade to just turn around and drive away. But we can’t drive or hide away from our problems because the truth will come out. Or in my case show the truth when my stomach grew because of the child growing inside.

It seemed like we got there faster than normal but Jade said, “Damn, I even drove slow.”

Laughing at her comment I got out of the car and made my way over to Jade. I was so grateful she came with me because I needed her support in this. Taking her hand in mine we walked up to Jason’s apartment and I slowly reached my hand up and knocked on the door.

Jason opened it and this huge smile came across his face and he was reaching out to me and lifting me up to his arms. Kissing me on the lips he walked us back into his apartment and said, “I missed you, baby. You’re looking a lot better. How are you feeling?”

Jade walked in behind us and closed the door and then met eye contact with me. She nodded her head in reassurance so I looked to Jason and said, “I’m feeling better.”

I thought I sounded okay but Jason tilted his head and asked, “Are you sure?”

I couldn’t lie to him again so I just nodded my head hoping that was a good enough answer. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me into the living room and said, “Sit down. You want something to drink?”

Jade was walking over when I said, “Water, please.”

Once Jason walked into the kitchen Jade sat next to me and whispered, “It’s going to be okay but you have to tell him.”

At that moment Jason walked out and handed me a bottle of water. “Tell me what?” Sitting down he placed an arm over my shoulder and rubbed.

Turning towards him I smiled and said, “How much I missed you.” He leaned in and kissed me on the lips.

The second his lips touched mine Neil came walking in and said, “Hey, get a room for that stuff,” and I instantly stiffened.

I saw Jason look at me and knew that he saw but he looked over at Neil and said, “Oh, it was a little kiss on the lips, chill.”

Neil laughed and waved his arms, saying, “Forget about it,” but then he noticed Jade was in the room and turned towards her and said, “But I will not forget your beautiful face anytime soon doll.”

I didn’t get to hear Jade’s reply because Jason said, “Don’t even think about it dude. Big mistake.” Neil just laughed and turned on the television, settling on some movie.

I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to tell Jason that I kind of zoned out while everybody else watched the movie but once it was over Jason got up and pulled me along with him into his room. Neil had a witty comment but I didn’t hear because of how loud my heart was pounding in my chest.

Once we reached his room Jason closed the door behind him and said, “What’s going on, Ash?”

Those four words were my undoing and I just cried. I felt Jason’s arms wrap around me and I just cried even more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head into his chest while he settled his head on top of mine.

Rubbing his hands up and down my back he whispered, “It’s okay Ash. It’s okay.”

I broke away from him and said, “No, it’s not okay. This is just a huge mess and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to tell you.”

Walking up to me Jason looked into my eyes and said, “Alright Ash, what’s the matter? You’re really scaring me here.”

I lowered my head and took a deep breath. Lifting my head to look into Jason’s eyes I whispered, “I’m pregnant.” 

Chapter 13

Jason

I was starting to get really nervous because Ashlynn wasn’t texting me back and it had been two days since I dropped her off at her apartment. Jade would text me every once in a while telling me that Ashlynn was getting better, but something just wasn’t sitting right with me. I needed to hear her voice. I was just getting ready to leave my apartment to surprise Ash when there was a knock at my door.

Opening the door, I saw Ashlynn and Jade standing there and I couldn’t believe it. I was so relieved to see Ash and I just needed to kiss her. So I picked her up in my arms and walked us back into the apartment kissing her. I wanted to take her back to my room and have my way with her but there was something about the way she was acting that made me a little nervous. While I was happy to see my sister I just wanted some alone time with Ash.

I was just getting ready to sit down next to Ash when I heard Jade whisper, “It’s going to be okay but you have to tell him.”

My heart plummeted so I said, “Tell me what?”

Handing her the bottle of water and sitting down I could tell from her demeanor that something was way off. She was as stiff as a board and I could see her gnawing on her lower lip.

Turning to me she smiled and said, “How much I missed you.” I knew she wasn’t lying about missing me but I could tell something just wasn’t right and I needed to get to the bottom of it.

I was just about to ask her to come back to my room with me when Neil walked out and we started to watch a movie. Throughout the movie I kept peeking over at Ashlynn and she was either picking her nails or biting on her lower lip, which just made me scatter brained and I couldn’t take it anymore. The movie barely finished before I was pulling her up from the couch and dragging her back to my room. My brain had gotten the worst of me and I started thinking that maybe she wanted to break up with me or she cheated on me or something awful.

I could hear her breathing heavily behind me and once we got in my room I closed the door and turned to her. “What’s going on, Ash?” I had to know what the fuck was going on.

I didn’t think I said it too rudely but she just broke down in tears. She began to hiccup and I just ran over to her and hugged her.

I tried to calm her down saying, “It’s okay Ash. It’s okay,” but she pushed me away from her and said, “No, it’s not okay. This is just a huge mess and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to tell you.”

I knew she was going to break up with me and I didn’t think I could take it anymore. I just wanted her to come clean about it. As much as it would completely suck I had to hear her say it. Her back was against my bedroom wall so I walked over and caged her in. “Alright Ash, what’s the matter? You’re really scaring me.”

She lowered head and let out a breath and then whispered, “I’m pregnant.”

My jaw dropped open and I looked at her. I didn’t know what else to do. Her face started to scrunch up and she started shifting her weight from foot to foot. Blinking a few times I said, “I’m sorry but what did you just say Ash?”

A little bit louder she said, “I’m pregnant, Jason.”

I dropped my arms to my side and just started walking backwards toward the bed. I needed to sit down as soon as possible or I thought I might pass out. As soon as I sat down I put my head in my hands and said, “I can’t.”

I mean what the fuck was I supposed to do? I had just come to the conclusion that it was going to be okay to date Ashlynn and I wouldn’t mess it up, but kids? I sure as hell wasn’t ready for that. And as much as my dad said I wouldn’t be like him there was still that small amount of me that questioned whether I would treat my own kids like that some day. I knew I couldn’t fast forward time and look into the future so I just figured I would cut the family ties and not risk it. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever treated my own kids the way my dad treated Jade and I growing up.

Before I knew it I was lifting my head towards Ash’s direction but she wasn’t there. I quickly got up from the bed and ran out into the living room but the only person out there was Neil who was sitting at the breakfast bar with the same look I had on my face.